I know what your going through to some extent. I may have bipolar and don't even know it. As far as seeing other people and feeling jealous of them because they look so happy, who knows what these people are going through. I ran into a neighbor last week who always seemed healthy, is a runner, walks two dogs....well she just found out she has oral cancer and is going through chemo every day of the week. Anyway, I thought I was healthy and then boom, I get anxiety attacks at night when I'm trying to sleep. I feel like I'm the only one who has these also.
Hang in there. I guess we have to deal with the cards we were dealt with.