And how will we be dealing with the holidays?

I have looked in advance to see what I can eliminate on my "to do" list that REALLY doesn't seem to matter to anyone else but me. Then, I have told my H & the kids exactly what the schedule is for the next few days, so there are NO surprises for any of us. I have told them we are NOT deviating from our plans. And I am BREATING A LOT! I have a big x-mas eve dinner to prepare for, with 14 people coming to my house....(Menu - shrimp cocktails, traditional Cesar salad, prime rib w/ au jus sauce, fresh Yorkshire puddings, creamed spinach & fresh garlic mashed potato's...and for dessert - Hot English Toffee cake w/vanilla bean ice cream & a big wedge of the best English toffee in the world from a specialty shop in L.A.). My H has informed me that this is x-mas and he does not want to work, he wants to enjoy himself.....GREAT! I guess mama-Dobby the house elf will just get to WORK then!!!!! LOL

I have noticed that the holidays for moms don't seem to be relaxing as a universal rule of thumb, BP or not. It feels like we women seem to do most of the work...at least in my neck of the woods anyway. I bought all the presents, wrapped them all, wrote the Santa letters, organized the calendars, arranged the play dates, got the theatre tickets for the holiday shows, and now have x-mas eve dinner to shop for, prepare and serve. (I will say H is decent (not brilliant mind you) on clean up crew - albeit not prep crew!) I find after New Year's is when I can collapse and stop moving for a day or two once all the kids go back to school. And then I can sit back and take in all that occurred over the previous weeks. Then come next year, I'll get to listen to how my H has not yet achieved the magical x-mas he so desires, how disappointing it always is for him...it is never turns out to be what HE wants – his fantasy of how it should all be and feel, which I have yet to succeed at for him. Guess mama-Dobby must work HARDER!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Only half of me is kidding!!!!!!!! LOL But I love him, so I keep trying. I guess I view the holidays as a lot of work, so I put my head down and "get it done". For those of you reading...YES, somewhere in here I have fun too, but BOY is it A LOT of work! I do love entertaining, and having dinner parties (I like to cook for people). Just wish I had a better helping staff that didn't whine during the process so much. I know as my kids get older, it will get easier too.

Oops, guess I had more to say than I thought...thanks for listening and letting me vent! LOL LFW

That menu is to die for, LFW! Wow! Sounds fabulous.

I know exactly how you feel about being Momma/Dobby/Mrs. Claus. I really do. It's never equal amounts of work. I came home from work to a dirty kitchen, which I'd purposely cleaned before I'd left -- in-laws arriving later and all. I wanted to hurt people. I didn't. He's lucky.

Stress management techniques, wasn't that what this thread was about? Forgetting about the small, meaningless things and managing stress? I'll let it go.

Awesome thread Serafena..I am so not looking foward to a few things over the next several days.  It's my bf's birthday on Sunday, right before New Years', so we have to go out for that on Friday night-lots of people, late, late night.  I feel so bad 'cause it's his birthday, but I hate social stuff so much.  It makes me so uncomfortable.  The same for New Years'...we have to go out, lots of people, late late night.  Ugh, I am getting so anxious just thinking about all of it.

There's not much I can do about it either.  I have to go to these things, and it's going to be hard.  I can do breathing, but really, that's not going to make me feel any less uncomfortable.  I hate being around a lot of people.  It's the worst thing for me. 

Anyway, don't mean to be such a downer; you all had such positive, productive things to say...

By the way -- note that it's Christmas and I'm upstairs taking a break by typing and being alone for a little while.

Well, Merry Christmas to everyone.  Mine was yesterday and a bit hectic, but made it through. I went to Bank's Christmas recital and spoke to M about keeping the kids from me and we came to a short term agreement.  He was so cute up there and when he saw me he ran and lept off of the stage into my arms. It was absolutley the best feeling one can have.  It had been a month since I saw him and Bem. Then M brought Bem out from the school yard.  My little princess had such a big smile and she clumsly ran to me. Oh my heart.  Please God don't let him take the kids away again.  It would kill me, but I have to accept the fact I am in Thailand and the rules are differen't here.  Well as what we agreed I go the kids Christmas eve. I was I was sooo happy to get my kids Christmas eve. We stayed up playing until 11.  Uhhhh.  Wrong move there, but I got them to sleep in about 30 minutes so not too awful bad.  Then I had to wait a bit until Santa brought down all of the gifts.  I didn't get to sleep til after 1am and up at 7am.  Not easy, and to my suprise the kids slept til 9.  If I only knew.  Once everyone was up it was a field day. Wrapping paper everywhere.  I think I got some good pictures.It lasted about an hour then it was time to figure out all of the games.  Not easy, I must say.  I started cooking around  3 and we well some of us ate at 6pm.  Not very traditional. Some were swimming others just chatting.  Kind of upset me to fix a big dinner and not get everyone to eat at the same time, but I just kept it to myself, ate and then watched tv in the main living room. Eventually everyone ate.

It did get a bit hectic at times, but I think I held my cool(and tongue) pretty well.  We had 3 families with a combined 7 children under 5 stop by to get some gifts and they had a bbq.  It was fun to see, but that got on my nerves after awhile. Luckily there are only a few holidays we have to do this.  The smiles and laughter were really worth it in the end.

The biggest thing that pushed my blood pressure through the roof is work calling all day.  They know it's Christmas for me and still managed to call 1 too many times. Anyway, today is a new day.  I hope that each and every one of you have a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy and Healthy New Year.

Merry POST Christmas to all!

My x-mas eve dinner party went off beautifully.  Food was divine and I was quite relaxed all the way through.  Being that organized REALLY helped this year.  I even had time to shower and change and do my hair and make-up prior to everyone arriving.  It was great!  My mother asked to stay over and have x-mas morning with us, and my H went along with it without any negative comments to me in private about that.  I LOVED THAT!!!!!!!!!! 

The ONLY negative thing in the whole few days is that my back has gone into a very severe pain and I am nervous I did something.  I am back on my pain killers.  I am hoping that it is nothing and will loosen up again.  But my spine doc told me that my disc at L5/S1 is shrinking more rapidly then he would like...SO...I'm nervous.  But, I am doing all the things I have been trained to do to take care of me during this, I'm doing my exercises, my stretching, and taking my medication and using the heating pad.  Hopefully when I see my rehab doc next week, I'll be better.  I'd call her now, but she is out of town until then.   If it doesn't improve, I'll also try and get into the spine doc earlier than my next appointment in late Feb. 

Anyway, I wish you all a relaxed week and a Happy healthy NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!  LFW

I find that the chaos, regardless of how many members are present, depends greatly on the overall behavior of the collective group as a whole. IF they are in their DRAMATIC-OVER REACTING place...it is an completely awful experience, and when they are in a laid back calm place...it is pleasant and not overwhelmning. I suppose I come from a highly dramatic expressive family, so it is the rare moment it is collectively pleasant. So believe me....YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Another reason I am on break from them ALL whenever I can be at the moment. HUGS, LFW