Chantry,
Like you, I thought I didn't want reconstruction at first. However, after wearing the heavy prosthesis for a year, I decided I didn't want to wear it the rest of my life. Once I made that decision, I knew also I didn't want an implant. My PS agrees with me, because I'm still relatively young. The implants need replacing somewhere down the line and I didn't want to deal with that or the complications that can arise. That's why I chose the Tram Flap (plus I liked the tummy tuck part). However, in your case, with a small child, that will be hard. It's a difficult recovery for the first couple of weeks and you can't lift anything. You can't even stand straight for 2-3 weeks. PS has me on a lift restriction for 4 more weeks (it's already been 6 weeks) of only 10 lbs.
Things to ask your PS: how many of that particular procedures has he/she done, what are the risks/benefits to each procedure, what is the recovery time, how many drains will I have, how long will I be in the hospital.
My PS is great. He sent me a packet of information covering all the risks, recovery time, etc. Also, if you decide on a tram flap, ask if he/she does a 2 step procedure. The first one is to prepare the blood vessels in the abdomen to create a better flow during and after the actual tram flap procedure. My PS did this and it worked great. I, so far, have no necrosis of the breast tissue.
If you have any questions specifically of this that I haven't covered, feel free to ask.
Good luck on this tough decision! I know you'll make the right one.