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What the heck is wrong with me!!!!

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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
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Posted 9/13/2006 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
I posted this first in the depression forum, but I feel there is more to it than that. Let me know what you think - PLEASE!!!


Hello everyone. Thanks for listening.

I am writing because I am at my wits end. I have been dealing with some major fatigue/depression for 4 years now. I have been through a gamit of tests and medications and nothing seems to help. Doctors don't seem to follow through - or care enough to for that matter. I am sick of it. I am tired of living my life in my apartment with my cats. Even though I love them dearly. I have no desire to get up, get dressed and get on with it. Then I feel guilty for that...

I recently had the stress of moving and changing jobs. Inter-office strife caused the split - which was stressful enough in itself. It seems my life is always in upheaval. My new job, something that was really looking forward to, is a big stress as well. I know that comes with every new career, but I feel so incompetent. I have gained the knowledge and experience over the past 4 years, but now it's like I never had any of that.

There has been a lot of thought about chronic fatigue syndrome, but it seems that nobody wants to commit. I was diagnosed with this really random sleeping disorder - a type of parasomnia - but even the neurologist said there is nothing really to do besides take valium everynight before I go to bed. Yikes. I opted away from that one. I am really beginning to form a general disliking of practioners. Grrr.

I don't really know why I am blabbing on about this. I just figured that I could use some support on my side. Most of my friends and family don't really understand, and keep telling me to go back to the doctor. I've spent the last 4 years in the doctor's office. I am ready for some other sound advice that anyone is able to share with me. Anything.

Thanks again,
Kim
Posted 9/13/2006 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
Kim, I'm sorry you have been through so much in the past 4 years. I know how frustrating it can be to feel so sick and to have no answers as to what is wrong. I have found along the way that a lot of docs like to pass these kinds of symptoms off as depression, especially if they can't figure out what is going on. I always told doctors that I wouldn't feel depressed if my health was better and if I had the energy to do the things I enjoy I wouldn't be feeling down emotionally. I see depression more as the reverse - that when you are depressed it can cause fatigue, as opposed to what you are going through which is the fatigue causing your sad feelings. I think there is a huge difference. I wish I had some great advice for you, but CFS is so hard to diagnose. The one thing you might do, if you haven't already, is to see an infectious disease doctor - they are ones who are good at diagnosing CFS. I hope you get some answers soon. Hang in there and ask any other questions you might have. Take care.
Posted 9/14/2006 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kim - Somehow I got to this site today researching the web for something completely different but felt I needed to try and give you some relief or at least a new means of finding answers. I have CFS, I was diagnosed when I was just turning 17 (I am now 23), not only that but fibromyalgia also. There is hope trust me! It is hard to overcome sometimes but if your a strong-willed person (which it sounds like you are) then you gonna have some really hard times but something good always comes from something crappy.
What other 'symtoms' (in better terms what odd daily occurances really are bothering you) are you experiencing? I say experiencing because CFS is an experience (one that most dont and wouldn't understand). Tell me about your sleeping (btw...I looked up parablah blah, whatever it was, and I doubt it, I'm no doctor though) what is sucky about it, what is good, how long do you sleep? What makes you feel fatigued? Stress? How bad? If you could describe it to someone else how would you tell them it feels? Do you feel angry? Or just irritated?
Well lemme know and I think I could direct you to someone or at least in the right direction. I go to a Physical Medicines specialist, sounds wierd, but he specializes in FMS and CFS, and I absolutely love him. In fact I live in a different city and drive 2 hours to go see him. Do not go to any more psychiatrists!!!! They give pills to anyone, you don't need those your not crazy.
I would really like to help you if I can, lemme know some more from questions I asked and I can let you know if there are any similiarities which would at least give you somewhere to start. At least give you some relief that life is good girl and you can live it with CFS also.
Posted 9/14/2006 1:35 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you hippimom - you hit the nail right on the head. I always believed that my fatigue predated my depression, but it seems that no one wants to hear me - and its a quick pill fix. I am sick of that. Hence my frustration. I've thought about seeing someone more specialized, but now that I have switched jobs and yet to be full time - I don't have insurance. I realize I am playing with fire, but I hope to be full time within the next month and a half. Maybe then I will rejuvinated into doing more research and pursuing a new MD. I would just like to know more about the herbal track, what worked for people, what didn't.

Thanks too mzredhead -
Most of my problem is fatigue fatigue fatigue. I sleep all the time. I've tried different lengths of time, to find whats best, but never feel refreshed when I get up. If I try to get up early, I am very unproductive during the day, and resign to taking a nap. My body feels like I am moving through sludge most days. I have been trying to exercise, but then my eyelids want to close and I take another nap. I've been taking supplements right along, and in the past few months have added melatonin to the list. Still can't peel myself from the bed. I envy those people that bounce out of bed in the morning all bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Mostly I get out of bed because of guilt, otherwise I would probably stay in it forever. I also can't function when I get home from work. My body is exhausted (I work 10 hours on my feet) and I will fall asleep on the couch. Forget making a meal or getting anything productive done until I do!
I am angry. I am sick of feeling like a 60 year old. Although most probably feel better than I. I am 28 years old and my life is on hold because of fatigue and frustration.
Lately I have been curious about Lupus. I have psoriasis, but the past 6 months I have had a strange rash on my chest that looks identical to the pictures I have seen on Subacute Cutaneous Discoid Lupus. Right now the psoriasis is localized on my scalp, although I have noticed some migration to the knees.
I was also diagnosed with Gilbert's "Syndrome" which over here they claim is nothing, but in the UK there is all sorts of information about fatigue and depression relating.
Yes, I had mono in college and my EBV titers are off the charts.

I know I have stressors in my life. And I am sure that that is part of the cause. But it seems that this sort of fatigue has gone on too long. I can't remember the last time I woke up and felt well-rested. That is very discouraging.
Thanks for listening...
Posted 9/14/2006 11:18 AM (GMT 0)
Your problems seem very similar to mine. Tell me... when you felt better, did you go through a series of stressful events? (Moving, change in jobs, relationships, death in family/friends, financial, car accident). Have you taken a vacation recently and felt better? How is your diet? What do you eat? Do you have anything else besides the fatigue? Stiff joints? Stiff muscles? Rash?

Don't give up. You can pull through this. I'm not saying this isn't CFS, because it certainly can be. However, do not put all your egg in one basket. I can tell you this, be very carefull when choosing your next MD. Make She/He is atleast a D.O. You want somoene who is going to listen to you, not tell you it's in your head and that you need to be on a Anti-Depressant/ SSRI.

Some other things you might want to check into are....

Lyme Disease
Adrenal Fatigue ( www.adrenalfatigue.org)
Mold
Sleep apnea

Look into these things and do some reading. The best information I've received to date is not from any of my 8 doctors, but from books and research. This is your life. ....... TAKE IT BACK! :)

Get well!
Posted 9/14/2006 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Orion,

It seemed to have all started 4 years ago when I finished school and started my career, about 6 months in. I would just come home and lay down and feel very fatigued. Then it just seems to have persisted. I have been through a lot of stressful events in the past 4 years, and I am sure that has contributed. I've moved 7 times, moved in with someone I was in a 2 year serious relationship (that ended almost a year ago), moved twice since then, started a new job after some serious interoffice striffe at the old one (I was forced to resign because I was so unhappy), and now I am hoping to be settled soon after a career change a move all in the same month. It is a stressful job (emergency animal medicine) but something that I have wanted for a while now. I am only part time so financial stress does play a big role as well. I was in a minor car accident a year ago, my fault. So yeah, the stressors are a big part I am sure. But the fatigue seemed to pre-date all of that in the beginning.

The main symptom is fatigue, but I do seem to have muscle weakness. No stiff joints unless I am trying to run or high impact exercise. My lymph nodes are swollen under my chin. Lately I have noticed that when I go to bed I am breathing really fast and my heart is racing. It is probably anxiety, but I feel like I am lacking oxygen exchange. I've had both an ECG and stress test - but they seemed so rushed. Almost like they don't bother unless there is a huge abnormality. I was reading the posts about viruses attacking the heart, and trying the antiviral meds. I do have the new rash on my chest that looks like Discoid Lupus. Try this link to see...

http://dermis.multimedica.de/bilder/CD182/550px/img0038.jpg

its not quite that bad - but has the characteristics of that.


I was diagnosed with a sleep disorder a year ago after my second sleep study. The neurologist said that it was a type of parasomnia. My brain is not resting at night, therefore not leading to refreshing sleep. He told me to take valium everynight before I go to bed. I found that it made me very groggy the next day, so I stopped that. I don't know, maybe I should try it again.

I'm at my wits end. What is a D.O.?

Good link about adrenal fatigue. Once I get some cash, I will try a better diet too.
Posted 9/15/2006 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
Kim, if you suspect lupus, you should get it checked - a dermatologist can biopsy the rash and should be able to help determine if it is discoid lupus. Lupus can progress very slowly over time. When my lupus began developing about 3 years ago my symptoms were very vague and I only had one mildly positive blood test for it. Over time more and more specific symptoms have developed as well as more and more positive labs. I know that getting some of this sorted out will be hard without health insurance - I imagine a biopsy would be pretty expensive.
Posted 9/17/2006 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kim,
I think you might have Lyme Disease. I was diagnosed with CFS/fibromyalgia years before I found out I have Lyme. Your rash, heart symptoms and fatigue are indicative of Lyme. The nice thing about having Lyme is that it is treatable. Since it is caused by a bacteria, it can be killed. Unfortunately, the bacteria is very difficult to kill, but I have found a cheap, doctor-free way to do it. It is called the salt/Vitamin C protocol. You can read all about it at a Yahoo discussion group called LymeStrategies. Or email me at [email protected]. Best wishes, Karen
Posted 9/17/2006 10:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kim, i understand how you feel. In 1995 I was feeling tired, run down, depressed, no drive just plain ole burned out so I thought ! Well to my suprise it was not CFS but mono @ age 40 no way and much to my dismay the dr. was right. On the other hand it didn't go away and after some time I returned to the dr. and low and behold I was still positive. Futher testing indicated I had Eppsteins - Barr also known as EBV, which mimick some of the same symptoms as CFS, FM,Lupus,Lyme, and other which target the immune response system. Actually the EBV antibody is the precusor in most if not all of the above pathologies. Ask your health care provider about it this person should be aware of the pathology for this too.
I still deal with flair ups today but have the knowledge to circumvent the severity of the symptoms and makes life a little more pleasent too. Also i have found that utilizing massage therapy specifically ****su to be very beneficial for maintaining my level of comfort and balancing the body's energy flow.
If I may help ya any further post & Iwill do my best to share to help!
May God Bless ya , memphis
Posted 9/17/2006 10:39 PM (GMT 0)
kim, re; to the blanked portion edit will not allow the spelling because the first part is close to a dirty word
so look up in asian body work therapy the translation for finger pressure maybe i can spell it here a different way just use how it sounds when you say it " she ott sue" should be close
memphis
Posted 9/17/2006 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
FYI - Sorry, I was reading this thread and wanted to jump in, though your mod probably knows this as well: For some reason, the censor tool that the administrator (Peter) is using is extremely sensitive and censors many normal words. You can email him the problem and he will fix it -- but he has to do it on a word-by-word basis.
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