do you let your loved ones know?

Hi Sue,

And welcome to our family! Glad you found us too. Many of us don't share much with family. We either don't want to burden them, don't appreciate their unkind comments, or don't want the condemnation for taking narcotic pain medication. It is so much better if someone in your immediate family, like a hubby, is supportive. Stops the loneliness. But not everyone is so lucky. I have a hubby who's great but I don't tell him every time I hurt. That's all that would come out of my mouth if I did.

Maybe take hubby along on a doc appointment so he understand the amount of your pain. Also keep a pain journal for your doctor and let hubby read it so he understand what you live with.

Depression is very common in CP people. Please do talk to your doctor about this. Don't let the stigma of antidepressants stop you from having a much better life. The medications don't give you a 'high'...they let the real YOU come out is all. There are many to choose from so if one doesn't work well then try something else.

Good luck and please keep in touch,
Chutzie

Hi Sue,

I too wanted to welcome you to HW. I am so glad you found us, but hate to hear that you are having the trouble that you are.

Oh, I do believe many of us suffer in silence, I sure do. I am tired of hearing it, so I know they are too. Yes, I was confronted a couple of summers ago by my son and was told by my son that I was nothing but an addict according to his Dad. My son was very angry with me when he came to the house that day. He would not talk to me or even look my way. I was on the backporch and he came outside for something. I confronted him about his attitude towards me. I explained the difference between an addict and someone who is dependant on their meds. Before doing so, I made him bring his Dad out on the porch because I was going to say this one time and one time only. I should not have had to defend myself to my family in my book. After that, no more wars about Mom's drugs, but I decided right then & there the less they know the better and I have kept it that way.

Of course my husband is one these that its like pulling hens teeth trying to get him to take a tylenol. He is very old school and ignorant when it comes to medicine. You are always suppose to suck it up and keep going. I did that exactly and lasted almost 18 months until I cratered one day.

You are wondering if your chill pill is working. Since you have been on it for several years, it may be time to try something else, or like you said see if they can bump the doseage somewhat. I was on 300mg of Effexor for a long time and it just got to where it was not cutting the mustard. So, my dr switched me to  Lexapro and I have very well with it. I am a firm believer that after awhile our bodies do build up a tolerance to meds if we have been on them for quite awhile.

I do hope you will hang out with us. We have a really good group of peeps on this board. We learn so much from each other. No 2 cases are alike. Each person has his/her problems. It can be a lonely road thats for sure. Hugs, Susie

Hi Mochiah and everyone,

I have crps (nerve disorder) and under all day and night chronic pain. I have a very understanding wife and kids. (8and13) I am 42 years old male and always played every sport and rode motorcross all my life. The reason I tell this is because although I thought I was tough as nails my whole life, I find myself crying alone and hiding my pain as much as possible. I complain probably as much as anyone, but like others say, it would be the only thing I say if I talked about my problem all the time. So many nights I just read and listen to others in this forum because you will find that so many people have exactly the same feelings you do. Frustration,anxiety,helplessnes and every other feeling to hate the world. So many days I feel like I dont want to tollerate all these feelings anymore and well, you know what I'm trying to say. To say nobody can understand chronic pain unless they experience it for a lengthly time is so much an understatement. It took a long time before I would admit to crying to my wife but, If we hold it in all the time I think it makes it more difficult to deal with and may result to unwanted decisions. I no longer consider myself an iron man, but just another CP person with the desire for a normal family life and some pain relief.

I apologize for rambling on but to deal with our problems It's sometimes better to vent than to keep it in all the time.

              Good luck to all and a happy holiday season

                                                 mike 

It's hard for our families to really understand what we are going through. My family tends to think that I am invincible, which is partly my fault because I tend to keep going, even when I really should just spend the day in bed.
After my first surgery, my husband became very concerned because I was in tears trying to move, the pain was so intense that I couldn't take a breath at times. He saw it. He was right there with me at doctor's appointments telling them that in all the time we've been married, he never saw me cry from pain and that he knew that if I did, I was in tremendous pain. I had RSD in my right shoulder, arm and hand after a shoulder reconstruction surgery and he was involved in my care for that as well, so he knew what I am normally like when dealing with pain...
My kids on the other hand, think that mom should just drop everything and do whatever it is that they want me to do.....they have gotten better about it, but there are moments when I'm in pain and I just can't do what I would normally. It's been a battle at times but I tried to educate them , and took them with me to doctor's appointments at times so that they could understand a bit better. My PM talked to them and explained things to them as well.
It's frustrating not being able to stand or sit for long, or do household chores that I did for years.....and I have moments of being depressed by the whole situation but it is what it is and now we all have to find a way to live with my new limitations.
Sandi

Mama- I don't hide the fact that I take pain medicine from my family, I do downplay my pain around them now because, as I say to them, "It doesn't matter, there isn't anything anyone else can do for me anyway so why bother." I also lock up/hide my medicines because my boys are 18 and 15 and I don't want that temptation there. Years ago, my husband had an addiction (progressed from alcohol, then weed, then to meth in a 1-2 year time), so I know he has an addictive personality, so it is another good reason to lock up medicine. He went through inpatient rehab and has been clean and sober for years, but why tempt someone, plus, I would be the one paying in pain if I were to allow him to get into them.

You said "1 doesn't do a thing, how do I explain that to him withoug sounding like a "druggie." Explain it to who, your husband or your doctor? If it is your doctor, all you can do is be as specific as possible. If it is your husband, try having him go to one of your doctor appointments with you so he hears it directly from the doctor.