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Posted 4/26/2008 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone.  I don't get to talk to you as much right now as I am kind of in limbo.

 

As everone knows, my surgery was cancelled due to a respiratory infection.  I am being treated for this with antibiotics.  I will go for more lab work next week to see if my health is ready for surgery.  I am soooo anxious of the outcome.  I have become more depressed, thinking I may never get back on the surgery list as I had to wait so long this time.  Maybe I am putting too much into all this but I feel it is a last resort to relieve this CP.  The depression and anxiety are making my pain worse because I feel like I am always on edge worrying. I just can't relax.  I have never had to rely on sleeping pills but now I'm taking Trazadone to help me relax into sleeping.

 

When I get too low I remember that there are so many people worse off than I am and feel silly even complaining.  But I know my friends on this forum understand.

 

Good news - it has been 34hrs since I smoked a cigarette.   Wish me luck, I'm hanging in there!

 

Wishing you all a less painful day!

Posted 4/26/2008 9:58 PM (GMT 0)
Lassie,
Congratulations on going 34 hours! That is a major accomplishment! And remember, some of the increased anxiety and depression may be that you're going through nicotene withdrawal as well as not relying on cigarettes as a crutch. So if you need some medication to help with sleep right now, that's better than smoking for long term health.

It's possible you may not have to wait as long to get rescheduled for your trial as you did for the initial scheduling - they may just fit you in as soon as your health is in the clear. So take those antibiotics and take care of yourself - just like you're doing. Oh, I also took extra vitamins (esp. Vit. C) when I was quitting. Try to eat as healthy as you can to help your body along. But you're tackeling a lot all at once, so cut yourself some slack, ok? (just don't smoke!)

Hugs and Cheers to you,
PaLady
Posted 4/26/2008 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your words of encouragement. They mean alot right now. Yes, I'm going to kick this nicotine habit; as all of us say - I wish I new then what I know now.

Yes, I do have alot on my plate all at once, but I just have to be strong and get through it. I remember you saying you were having more pain with your SI joint but you could endure it for another week. I'm sure your pain is much worse than mine so I am going to endure it too.

I gave Jessie some fresh catnip two days ago. She acted like she loved it but afterwards she looked so paranoid & restless. Her pupils were dilated to the max. I felt so sorry for her; she couldn't even stay still enough to get a good night's sleep. She is back to normal now thank God. I will never put her through that again.

Hope your pain level is tolerable today and better tomorrow.
Posted 4/26/2008 10:25 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for thinking of me, too. I appreciate your words of support. That's what's great about this site.

I don't think my pain is worse than yours; I see us as all in similar boats (which we don't want to be in!) maybe of different colors and sizes and shapes, but basically on the same lake, trying not to sink!

Time for more 'magic beans' (I think I'm going to borrow Toritoo's words and call all my pills that!).

Pa Lady
Posted 4/26/2008 10:27 PM (GMT 0)
"magic beans" - now that's too cute!
Posted 4/26/2008 11:14 PM (GMT 0)
Lass -

I hope that they are planning to fit you in as soon as you are well. However, quitting smoking is such a huge thing, and you should be very proud that in spite of all the stress you are dealing with that you are succeeding where so many have failed. You are doing your body such a huge favor by stopping that maybe it will thank you and allow this surgery to be the miracle we all pray it is for you.

The best advice I can give since right now you don't know when your surgery date is, is to get yourself in as good shape as you possible can. Work on stretching, and low impact exercises, as well as getting your house prepared for your life post-surgery. If you get bored one day and want, cook a large meal and vacuum freeze it so that post surgery you can just plop the pouches in boiling water and have dinner with no real effort on your part.

Best of luck to you!
I hope you feel better soon!
Posted 4/27/2008 2:10 AM (GMT 0)
whoohooo!! That's great about how the qutting smoking is going!! Kudos to u, take is hour by hour, it won't seem as bad that way(maybe :-) )I've smoked for 40 yrs, started quite young, and have no plans to quit but I applaud anyone else who does.I agree that the increased anxiety is prob partly due to not smoking. Keep up the good work. That is very good advice, TD. yeah
Posted 4/27/2008 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
      :-) Dear LassieLuv I'm so sorry that I have been so self absorbed lately that I did'nt realize you were quitting smoking. I wish you all the luck in the world and all the will power you need to accomplish your goal. Been there myself quite a few times and I just could never quite do it. With all your other issues you have in limbo and your pain I also don't feel that adding Trazadone to your regimen of "magic beans" is a problem either. I think it will help you maybe just enough to make it. Any way good luck with it all Lass and have a nice less pain day if possible. Hugs to you and kudos as well.

                                          Toritoo

Posted 4/27/2008 10:51 AM (GMT 0)
TDoem, Muzz, Toritoo - Thanks so much for wishing me good luck with the smoking issue. I truly enjoyed smoking and didn't have any plans to quit. But when it came to me possibly being able to walk (post-surgery) if I gave up the habit, then I wasn't a decision anymore, it was a matter of necessity. With alot of prayers and effort I think I am doing pretty good. In 45mins it will have been two days without. I know that doesn't sound like much but when you consider I am counting every minute, hour it is a looooong haul.

I am trying to put my CP on hold (right), and I am enduring as well as can be expected. I still have such high hopes that the SCS will take the pain away, or make it more tolerable. I can't rush things but the wait is very taxing.

I hope you all have less pain today and again, thanks for thinking about me.
Posted 4/27/2008 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
As of this writing it's been 2 days and a half hr since you've smoked kiddo! That surely would be a big deal for me and I know is is for you. Take it by the hr is that's what helps u get thru...even by the min. I've heard and read that if u can make the 1st week, you're on your way to licking the demon. Keep on keepin on kiddo!!
Posted 4/28/2008 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, Lassie, it's a huge deal!! That doesn't mean you won't continue to have cravings, especially as you progress with the patches. They will gradually decrease the amount of nicotene in your blood, so your want to learn new habits, ways to use your hands, etc. and hold onto that motivation to get and stay healthy!

Let me know when you start that kitty face!

PaLady
Posted 4/28/2008 7:20 PM (GMT 0)
WOW! I just wanted to say congrats to all of you who posted you'd quit smoking. It truly is a great thing to do, for yourself, loved ones, and your body.

To give you some inspiration - I KNOW that anyone can quit smoking once they decide thats it. ( I don't mean this in a mean way towards those that still smoke, just that when the right motivation comes along, something that makes you want to quit heart and soul it can happen). My grandfather is 88 years old, he started smoking at 12 - and smoked daily. There were times he had two lit cigarettes one in his hand one in his ashtray. Papa smoked 2-3 packs a day. He stopped smoking last July and hasn't picked up a cigarette since. You CAN do it. Don't let anyone tell you to quit, or do it for anyone else but you.

Also, when he came down with pneumonia in february the doctors all said if he had still been smoking - he'd have died - his lungs were that bad off.

I wish all of you the best!
Posted 4/29/2008 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
:-)  Hi LassisLuv just wondering how your doing in general and with the smoking thing and I noticed you had not posted here in the last couple of days so like I said I was just wondering. All ok? I do hope so like so many others have said before me it sure isn't easy and could possible be one of the hardest things to quit. I'm wondering if you might off fell of the wagon or if your just not feeling well enough to post lately. Of course it could just  be me, highly likely I might add, but in case the first option is it I want you to know that if you do slip up (which can happen to the best of us) just keep on the trying.

One time when I quit.. I totally forgot what I was going to say. Talk about short term memory loss. Anywhoo, Good luck and just keep plugging away at Lassie.

Oh yea one other thing. I'm sorry you have had all that snow and cold weather but I would definitly love, love, love to have some here. The temps been in the high 90s and the out look calls for more over the weekend. I'm melting...

One of my favorite memories was the first year that my family moved up to Lake Arrowhead elevation 4500 ft and I woke up one morning in the winter and it was so very quiet. No noises from the cars on the road and I walked out to the livingroom which has 3 floors of open windown facing north and south well anywhoo I stopped dead in my tracts when I looked outside and saw that the world outside my windows was a glistening vision of snow covered pine trees, the sun was shining and itwas one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. I walked on to the balcony savored the beauty and looked straight up and said, "Great job God, Thanks"'. We were stuck in the house for the next week and had a limited amount of cigs so after a few days I was back out on the balcony asking God to please let us get our car out so we could get some cigs. LOL!

I'm out for now,  Toritoo

Post Edited (Toritoo) : 4/29/2008 2:45:47 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/29/2008 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
Lassie,
I just want to echo Toritoo's thoughts. Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I've done so far in my life - truly. And I view it as a process that takes time. Relapses are common with all addicitons, so if you've fallen off the wagon, so to speak, please don't stop posting and don't be afraid to tell us. Just get back up on that wagon and know any of us who have had nicotene in our lives know what a monster is it. So keep battling it until you get the best of it!

We care and we're thinking about you.

Of course, maybe you're making that cute little kitty face!

Hugs,
PaLady
Posted 4/29/2008 9:58 PM (GMT 0)
PAlady,
No, I haven't "jumped off the wagon"; I don't know who is pulling who, but we are still holding together. Yes, this nicodemon is giving me the dickens every chance he gets but hey, I'm stronger than that. I haven't been online much lately due the cramping / spasms in my lower back. Hopefully that won't last forever.

PAlady, I couldn't find a latch hook of a black kitty so I got a little tabby one. Kinda like the one I have now plus a little calico. This one will be fun too.

Luv Ya!
lassie
Posted 4/29/2008 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Toritoo - Where do you think I live - the north pole? I live at the southeast most tip of NC - inbetween Wilmington & Myrtle Beach. We didn't even have a winter this year; it barely frosted but a couple of days. What part of the world are you from? Your description sounded like a little peice of Heaven.

This is DAY 5 without a cigarette. I think that's GREAT! May not me much in days, but I haven't slid back not one time. Thats what is so good for me.

My back is flaring up again, gotta lie down. Hope you all are having a better day than I am.
Posted 4/29/2008 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
Lassie -
Your north pole comment had me LOL! But Day FIVE is TERRIFIC!!! I know how difficult it is and I was thrilled with every 24 hour period I could add on!

So sorry your back in is flaring up. Glad you're resting a bit.

And a tabby is sweet. My little boy was an orange and white tabby!

Rest easy,
PaLady
Posted 4/30/2008 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Good going Lassie!! whooohoooo! yeah
Posted 4/30/2008 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
     redface Hi Lassie,

I was so happy to see that you are doing so well on the stop smoking thing, I am so impressed yet I am sorry to hear that you have been in so much pain.

As for me, I don't know why I thought it was you that lived by Lake Erie someone does and I am not even going to try and remember. I've been ill myself lately, stomach problems. I am going for an endoscopy next tues. Hopefully it will show what is going on since I've been sick since Feb. I do apologize and whoever it is that lives by Lake Erie hopefully will see my last post and know it was meant in part for them.

I think I have O.M.I.F. Syndrom or in other words - open Mouth Insert Foot Syndrom. Either that or my meds are really affecting my mind. So keep up the good work and feel better soon Lassie of N.C.

              Hoping you have a less pain day,              Toritoo

Posted 4/30/2008 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
Well Lassie this must be day 6. One more day and it will be a week. Good going girl! I know me and everyone else is very proud of you.

How is your infection? So sorry to hear about your pain, but hopefully once you get the SCS you'll be feeling much better.

Good luck with everything!
Posted 4/30/2008 8:07 PM (GMT 0)
Toritoo -
It's me who lives on Lake Erie. Well, alongside it! LOL But your comment made me laugh so it must have been indirectly meant for me anyway. Thanks for the giggle! :-)

And Lassie - Day 6 - WooHoo! yeah

Post Edited (PAlady) : 4/30/2008 2:28:07 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/1/2008 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
:-)  Hi Lassie,

Wow I also am very impressed with your accomplishments so far on the stop smoking topic yet I think you must be still suffering with your pain. Hang in there girl we all have our fingers toes and everything else crossed that you will have some relieve very soon.

                            Toritoo

Thank you PALady for letting me know it is you that lives along side Lake Erie. I knew it was someone and I believe you have an across the Lake fellow CPer and I do know who that is, so I have not completely lost my mind.

Heres to a Less Pain Day to us all.             Toritoo

Posted 5/2/2008 3:16 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Gramps!

I guess I kind of felt desperate when I said it SCS was a last resort (and I've said it many times); but I agree with you, nothing should be considered as a last resort. In all honesty, it is left in God's hands for success or defeat in all of us. Don't worry I will not be so devastated (just a little bit annoyed), if this SCS doesn't work, but I'll get back on my feet.

I try not to be a pessimist, because I am fortunate to have guys like you on this forum to keep me on track. And I love your dry sense of humor.

Lots of Luv!
Posted 5/2/2008 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Toritoo & PAlady! Now I am beginning to have a picture of where you guys live (geographically). I meant no harm, and hope it wasn't taken as such, when I mentioned the North Pole. It was all meant if fun!

Thanks to all who are dealing with, or tried to deal with, this smoking thing. Today at 7am meant 7 days of non-smoking!! My patch got washed off yesterday and I have been without a patch or smoking since than. I think I must have found the right motivation 'cause I am actually coming head to head with this nicodemon.

I had lab work done yesterday, saw my pc dr this am and YaaY the infection is gone! Now I just have to wait for a surgery date again. At least this time I won't have to worry about any infection or quitting smoking issues.

Again, I am asking for your prayers both with the smoking & surgery.

Thanks to you all in advance!!
Posted 5/2/2008 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
Lassie,
That's wonderful on both counts - Day 7 of non-smokerville and the infection clearing. And it's important you connect those two dots because if you had continued to smoke that infection likely would have lingered, worsened or returned.

One little thing though, never minimize the potency of that nicodemon to attack from any angle, any day, out of nowhere! If you get too complacent that's where problems come. You'll continue to have cravings maybe for quite some time, although they will gradually lessen. Are you juse using the 7 day patch system? Because I think there are some that even go longer, and if you need to do it over again it's better than picking up cigarettes. Remember nicotene is as addictive as morphine to the body, it's not just a bad habit, so you'll never be able to have "just one" without activating cravings. And you're doing so great who wants to go backl! Are you noticing your sense of taste and smell returning? That was a big wake up call to me - to taste foods again!

And the North Pole comment gave me a great laugh!! But Toritoo is I think in California frying eggs on the sidewalk, so she's nowhere need the north pole. I, however, just put away my snow shovel yesterday!

Keep up the good work! Cheers!

PaLady
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