Scared & Worried...My Dads In ICU!!!

Raindrop; I am so glad that your father is doing a little better today. I am praying very hard that he will be alright and that within a few weeks he will be back home and that you and your mom will be back on schedule. One thing I must mention to you that I don't know if you are aware of in all your research is that with COPD patients there is no cure. COPD is a permanent disease and you cannot reverse its damage. I do not know if you were aware of this or not but I thought that I would let you know. My father had COPD and it is what....in the end killed him. My dad was in the final stages of this horrible and catastrophic disease and by the time he died went from a healthy man of 167 pounds down to 89 pounds sick, weak and struggling to catch each breath. It is not something I would wish upon anyone not even my worst enemy. This disease took my father's lung capacity and whittled it down over the course of 10 years until in the end he had 7 % lung capacity and his lungs were beginning to fill with fluid.

Now with that information I do not mean to scare you only to give you the power to know what you are dealing with here. I always wondered a few things with my dad that might have helped to prolong his life so to speak or at least give him a better chance at fighting it or at least slowing down the progression somewhat. I've heard of many people with COPD that have slowed the progression of the disease by exercising and keeping active by walking and things to keep their lungs expanding. There are Pulemologists (SP)that say that not only walking...and staying in shape with some kind of exercise program does help to slow the progression of the disease but that keeping to a set of breathing exercises too will help as well. My dad on the other hand has never been one to stick with any form of physical fitness program. Hell his idea of exercise was to pick up a beer can in the 70s and to watch us kids change the tv station on the television. Well after he was diagnosed with COPD was just before his second wife Geri died. She went very fast, within a year and she was gone leaving dad a widower. Dad thinking that he too would leave this world as quickly as Geri completely stopped all activities and move closer to us kids so that he could say his final goodbyes.

Now here you will have to bare with me....I kinda get choked up when I think about my father. Its still to fresh on my mind. Over the next ten years my dad became a bitter bitter man. He resented the fact that he did not die as quickly as his wife. He hated that he was lingering. But instead of venting his anger on himself or like a normal human being.....he took it out on us kids...mainly me and my sister as we were far away. Sis was in Cheyenne by then and I had moved to a small town 17 miles to the east. He clung to my brother and made him the golden child giving him whatever he desired with a flick of his wrist and a wave of his Credit Card. Meanwhile under my brother's nose his marriage was falling apart from the pressure of being a caretaker. Now dad really went into hiding when my brother moved them south as he had gotten a better job. He gave up his drivers license, stopped going to car shows. sold his antique cars and never left his house again.

I tell you all of this because I wonder if it was not because my father became a recluse and stopped all his activities that his life was not cut short as it was. That maybe if he would have stayed more active and walked more that maybe he would have been around longer. Take care of your dad and mom Raindrop......you only get one chance at this....don't have the regrets that I do in the end.

Hugs

Scarred

P.S. Sorry if this post sounded so mournful guess I have a few unresolved issues.

I am a licensed practical nurse...only one year of nursing school and help care for the developmentally challanged.  Mostly it's the RNs (with 2-4 yrs of nursing school) that you see working in the hospitals.  LPN's aren't allowed to work in CCU most definitely...and shouldn't be, as they don't have the sufficient training to do so. So, even though I know a very small touch of medical terminology....I knew nothing about Ventilators, IV's, etc.. until my dad.  My mother doesn't work as a nurse...she is a secretary for the state we live in.  

 

My dad is sadly still on the vent.  They tried to wean him off today...but he could only take it for 20 minutes. The nurse informed us that he had tears in his eyes, was struggling to breath, and his O2 saturation got down to the 50's, so they had to put him right back on the vent.  They ordered Lasix and informed us that they drained 3 liters of fluid!  I did ask the Pulmonologist about the possibility of ARDS and she told us that he wasn't presenting those symptoms.  They plan to put in a PEG tube (a tube that goes in his stomach for nutrition) tomorrow (one of the tubes is in his mouth to his stomach at present and they told us this would be more comfortable for him to have a PEG tube placed).  They are also going to try to put a trach in either tomorrow or Friday and still work on weaning the Vent settings down some until (hopefully) he can breath on his on...They told us it will take some time though because his breathing muscles have gotten so used to the Ventilator breathing for him.  His vent settings are currently at 40%.  The night shift nurse I spoke with seemed positive.  He told me his vital signs looked great...but his blood pressure was very low at first because of the combination of the Diprovan (sedative) and Lasix he was receiving.  They did have to discontinue the Lasix.  He told me my dad was resting comfortably which is very important to me.

 

I know a touch about COPD...but need to study more about that.  Nursing school crammed my brain full of information in a short amount of time (1 year) and I have forgotten the details because I don't work with a lot of what I learned on a daily basis.  I plan to study this again more in depth.  

 

My dad worked hard at a liquor store for many years.  He would stock and lift heavy boxes and was always complaining about how lazy his other co-workers were, lol.  He said he had to pick up most of the slack.  My mother told me that if he makes it through this, he will not be going back to that store!  The other problem I foresee in the future if he does get through this is trying to get him to eat healthier, exercise, etc. He worked a 40 hour a week shift, sometimes longer.  When he wasn't working, he would just lie in bed and watch TV, and even eat in bed.  The only exercise he got while on the weekends while not working, was going out to eat with my mother and me.  If he gets through this, maybe this experience will scare him enough to live a healthier life.  

 

One thing I did not mention is that he took Hydrocodones for back pain.  They were prescribed, but I think he took more than he should have, and became addicted.  I wonder if when he was sick, he couldn't really feel how sick he was due to the numbing effect of the Hydrocodones.  He was a heavy smoker from when he was in his 20's until about 4 years ago when he put them down for good.  He is also a recovered alcoholic.  He used to have problems with that...but he went to rehab and beat that habit (and has been alcohol free for over 10 years).  He is a very pessimistic person, always seems depressed.  I'm wondering if the Hydrocodones he was taking just replaced the alcohol he was abusing.  I don't know...all I can do is pray and hope he will get better and start living a healthier life if he does.   

 

PAlady said...
Raindrops,
I'm glad you keep posting. So much for you to digest. You have to keep reminding yourself there is only so much you can do. The rest will be up to your father. Unfortunately all those years of smoking have taken a heavy toll; it's good that he quit, but all the damage can't be undone, but at least he can prevent more damage.

You are right that the hydrocodone can, from a biochemical perspective, replace the alcohol and that's likely why your fathre had difficulty staying to the dose prescribed. But more than anything I suspect the smoking is the biggest contributor to his problems. My mother smoked for many years, and unfortunately died of lung cancer. That's not to say your father will; it's just smoking causes such horrible damage. I was able to quit in 1990 but it was one of the hardest things i never did. Nicotene is a potent drug. Your father has shown motivation to try to improve his health, and maybe he can get stabilized enough to go home and maintain a basic lifestyle and adjust to not working.

If you think he's depressed I'd suggest talking with his doctors so that maybe they can incorporate an anti-depressant into his treatment.

Take care of yourself!

PaLady

 

 

I'm so sorry to hear that your mother died of lung cancer.  It's so hard to deal with a family members death, especially a family member you are so close with.  I'm 26yrs of age and have never dealt with the emotions of a sick family member or the death of a family member...I was too young with both grandparents died from my mother and fathers side.  I remember everyone around me crying, but I just didn't understand at the time.  I was too young.  It's so hard to understand unless you've really been there.

 

I too, smoke as well.  I started smoking at age 15 (I know...horrible), and quit for a few years and started back about 3 years ago.  I had planned on quitting very soon, but I'm under so much emotional stress right now...it just makes me want to puff away.  Both of my moms parents and dads father all died of Lung Cancer...so it's definitely in my genes.  I just have to set a quit smoking date and stick with it.  Nicotine Gum helped me quit before, so maybe I can start that again when the stress dies down. 

 

My dad is still on the Ventilator...ugh!!!  They tried to put a PEG tube in today to help with his nutritional needs...but that didn't work out.  They said his intestines was in front of his stomach (due to a surgery he had in the past when he had to have his spleen removed from a car wreck)...so they are going to actually get a surgeon to do this and said it should be tomrrow morning.

 

One thing that really upsets me is when the doctors will come in his room and talk about his diagnosis and all the things that need to done to my mother and me.  I have requested to my mother that either they talk to him about his care or talk out of the room so he can't hear.  To me, it's so disrespectful to talk about his condition like he isn't there in the room...even if he is sedated, I feel that he can still hear and especially when he is awake and somewhat alert.  I was at work allll day so couldn't go visit my dad today, but my mother did go visit.  The night shift nurse told me that while my mother was visiting my dad, and the nurse started talking about putting a trach in him ((while he was awake (but sedated) in the room!!!!)), he shook his head no continuously as if to say, "No, I don't want a trach."  The night shift nurse told me they are going to start decreasing his sedation medications so that he can have more say in his care.  I told the nurse that if a nurse would educate him more about a trach, then maybe it wouldn't be as scary to him (his knowledge about a trach is limited).  My thinking is, is his body's already under a lot of stress...and he needs to keep his stress level DOWN...and talking about a trach probably scared the crap out of him!  You would think the doctors and nurses would know this, and be a little more respectful of the patient that can't communicate...either talk to them or leave the room if your going to talk about them!  That's how I feel! 

 

I have requested off work tomorrow. So, maybe If he is awake I can explain to him the importance of why a tracheostomy needs to be performed.  I am also going to request that the nurses talk to him...not about him, while in his room. I'm sure they will comply while visiting hours are in session, but who knows what will be said after we leave. Some of the other things I have noticed is that when a tech comes in to get a blood sugar from him, they won't even take the time to explain what they are doing.   My dads eyes widen each time he sees a medical professional enter his room, like he's scared.  I usually do the explaining..."Dad, he's just here to get your blood sugar and will just prick your finger...it'll be ok", or, "Dad, she's just here to get a urine culture from your catheter, it won't hurt." Or, the respiratory therapist who are there to give a breathing treatment or collect a sputum specimen...I wait for them to explain and...nothing.  So, I say "Dad, they are just here to give you a breathing treatment to help your lungs.  It won't hurt.  It will make you feel better".  Those things bother me a lot. I was taught that you explain to the patient what you are doing at all times, even when they are sedated or even in a coma.  There is  a chance, even if it's small, that they can hear you.  I have heard of patients who were in a coma and when they come out of the coma, know exactly what was said while someone was in there room and could relate the medical professional to the voice they heard while in the coma (This is what my nursing instructor told us).   

 

Since I'm off work tomorrow...I will probably have time to post an update.  Thank you all again for your incredible support!!!  And yes, this website is helping me tremendously.  It's like my journal; helps me vent, and in the process...I get excellent suggestions, stories, and support. 

Post Edited (raindrop) : 1/29/2009 11:45:05 PM (GMT-7)

Raindrop,
Sorry I didn't respond to you last night. Just feeling too overwhelmed. I first would echo what Scarred said to you - that you're doing all the right things with your father, although there are just some things we can't control. Like what nurses and doctors do and don't say to your father, especialy when you're not in the room. My father died when I was 32; it was 11 years later when my mother died. But I'm much, much older than you so this is normal, although I still miss them. And regret they both died sooner than they needed do as both their deaths were related to addiction. I had quit smoking 3 years before my father died, but then started again when he was dying. Started bumming from my mother. Told myself I'd quit after all the stress of his death was over. Well, that took me 9 years and I was smoking 3 packs/day by then. One thing you can do is use this to help motivate you for the future.

You're watching your father go through this and it's probably highly related to his smoking all those years. Remember how much this hurts and then maybe you can think of any children you may have now or in the future, or even relatives, and not want to put them through this. There are a lot of smoking aids out there now - gum, patches, etc. Nicotene is a potent drug, and it took me many tries but I finally did it. I thought for awhile I wasn't ever going to be able to quit, and now that I recognize how hard it is i'd never touch another cigarette, even though weirdly enough on very, very rare occasions I think about it. But it's a good thing because I couldn't afford it now! Anyway, don't beat yourself up right now, but make a promise to yourself for sometime in the future. It's not just about in your genes (although there are some studies that indicate it might be) it's just a very, very potent drug - at least as potent as morphine.

That's for the future for you. I hope your father was a little better today. Keep in touch.

PaLady

That is wonderful news raindrop! Our prayers are really coming through I believe. Keep doing what you are doing hun and soon he will be out of the hospital and back home. hugsss hun for you and your mom I really am glad things are going better.

Love

Scarred

Raindrop,
i just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and hoping things are continuing to slowly improve for your Dad, and all of you. I know this is hard, but you are doing everything you can and then some. Remember even if your father doesn't like something right away, he may learn to adjust over time. We all need time to absorb major changes to our health, right?

Hugs to you all,

PaLady

Dear Raindrop,
I'll be back to write more but I just want you to know this is not selfish of you. These situations are painful for all involved, not just the patient. You really do need to get some support for yourself - even just a real shoulder to cry on. A friend, a therapist, a pastor....someone who can lend you an ear without your feeling like you might be overburdening them (like your might feel with your Mom). Maybe your boyfriend, for starters.

I'll try to write more later, but I've been where you are.

Hugs,
PaLady

Raindrop; Gosh this is so hard for me to hear. I'm reminded of my own dad's final days and it makes me cry. I can imagine how hard this is for you hun and I wish I could just wrap you up in a big hug right now and tell you everything is going to be alright. I know that sometimes it is hard to think that there is hope but.....there is because his doctor still has hope and you should too. When your dealing with a sick family member it is so hard to keep your chin up and stay strong but I can tell that you are a very strong person and that you will get through this. I think the hardest part is trying to comfort your dad and tell him that everything is going to be alright because he feels that its not and its frustrating for him to think that he can't do things for himself right now. Just keep going girl that is all I can tell you and I will send out a few extra prayers to you and your mom, as well as your dad for a speedy recovery.

Hugssss

Scarred

Again, Thanks all for responding.  It means a lot to me!  My dad is still fighting.  He is still on the Ventilator but they moved him to an acute long-term care hospital today.  The good news is, is I can go visit him whenever I want...no more 4 times a day, 30 minute visiting hours!!!  The respiratory therapist did tell my mom today that he is going to require a lot of work, of course.  He is on Ativan, 10mg an hour IV!!!!  They were going to move him from CCU to the rehab center a week ago, but they he kept receiving Diprovan on and off, with the Ativan as well!  The long term care hospital said they couldn't take him with the Diprovan, so the CCU finally gradually discontinued this but he is still on 10mg of Ativan an hour (wow, that's a very high dose!!!).  The respiratory therapist said that he has to be tapered down from this before they can actually work with him and they also said this would take a few days to do...he is just sleeping all the time with this high dose.  The reason though that they put him on this dose is that he kept trying to break free from his restraints in the CCU, and one of the CCU nurses actually told me that he unplugged his Ventilator a few times (this was a week ago), so they had to put him on stronger sedation. He also kicked a nurse, lol (but at least noone got hurt!). 

 

I actually started seeing a counselor!  This has helped me tremendously!  I've already been twice and plan to go again today.  I guess I felt a little pride and felt like I could handle this all myself, but I have to admit this counselor has helped me tremendously! 

 

I have also went through something else on Friday.  My dog died at the vets office!  I had him for 7 years and was extremely attached!  My boyfriend and I first took him to the vet a month ago when he started acting depressed.  They drew some lab work and diagnosed him with liver failure and prescribed him a lot of different medications and told us to syringe feed him by mouth (since he had lost his appetite).  Well, we did do all this but he seemed to be getting worse.  I was spending the night a lot with my mother (to support her due to my dad), so my boyfriend was the main one taking care of him.  Well, he got to the point where he could barely stand...so we rushed him back to the vets.  My boyfriend left him there since we both had to work.  They were going to draw labs and request immediate results.  We found out Friday that he died at the the vets office. The vet said he went to sleep and never woke up. The vet concluded that it was probably cancer, since all of his organs were starting to shut down.  I cried on/off since. Wednesday was the first day that I actually didn't cry.  I am getting over it but it's hard.  At least he didn't suffer since he died in his sleep. I did start back on my Anti-depressants, so this has helped tremendously.  When it rains it pours, huh?  But I am a strong believer now that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I think that's how the saying goes . 

 

I will keep you updated with my dad as time progresses. 

Post Edited (raindrop) : 2/19/2009 4:11:02 AM (GMT-7)

mom9mom said...
Raindrop sorry that I have not been in touch much.I had surgery on my back on DEC.31 and I still can not sit for very long without hurting a lot.I am sorry that your dad is not better yet.You are right on insisting that all of your dads care givers to talk to him or talk out side or the room.Even when you are sedated that much you can hear and you do get upset.Your dad is not mad at you he is very mad at not being able to communicate with anyone.It about drives you crazy and you do get mad at the people you love but in the end you know that it is not them you are mad at it is the situation.Please try your best to visit your dad as much as you can I know that it hurts and that at times you will need a brake but I can tell you that it is very important for your dad to feel loved and wanted so that he will keep on fighting to get better.The DR. only gave me a less then 10 % Chance to live and if my family had not been there for me all of the time I don`t think I would have made it.Do the best you can and I will pray for your dad and I ask everyone who reads this to pray also.I am sending you a great big ((((((HUG)))))) I know that you need it.

((((hug)))) to you as well. I feel like you might need one too!  Thanks for praying as I believe prayers make a great difference!  I will pray for you as well as I cannot stand to see or hear of anyone in pain.  That's a miracle that they gave you less than 10% chance to live and your still here!!!  Wow!  God is with you!!!   That really touches me about what you said that if your family wasn't there, you may have not made it !!  I'm glad I started visiting my dad more often   Now that he's in the long term care facility, I can thankfully visit him more!!! I just wish I didn't have to put on those "stupid" gloves, gown, and mask...ugh!!!  I know though, it's precautionary measures (he was diagnosed with MRSA).

Hi Raindrop,

 

Was so glad to see a new post from you. It sounds like to me that the move to the long term care facility may be the best thing that can happen for your Dad. There he can get many diffferent type of treatment and care for a person that is in a bed. Here he can get physical therapy that he really needs because he is bedridden at this point. I think its awesome that his dr did not give up on him and I don't think your Dad has given up either. He has had such a long struggle, the same as you and your Mom. We just have to keep the faith that good things will happen for him. The change of setting may be just what he needs. At least you are no longer restricted in the visitation hours.

 

I am so glad that you decided to get some help for yourself. You just have your plate overloaded honey, and when that happens we sometimes have to figure out ways to move some of the stuff off onto a separate plate. I can by the tone of your post that you are feeling much better. Yea!!! It takes a strong person to admit they need help, it is not a sign of weakness at all. I feel quite sure now when you go see your Dad he can sense a great difference in your attitude. Thats a plus for him. I have to tel you a funny story, when my Dad was in the hospital after his valve/bypass surgery, he pinched a nurse one day. Oh, they made a big deal out of it, which at that point I really did not care, I was so fed up with that group. I asked my Dad if he did pinch a nurse and he told me he sure did cause she hurt him. I told him if anyone else came in there and messed with him and hurt him, to pinch them too,lol. She knew she was hurting him. He had such awful care there.

 

Give your Mom some time to toy with the idea of seeing someone for help. She may see the big difference in you and how you are feeling and decide to give it a try. I know when I first went to my psychologist I sort of felt lfunny for needing to see one. But after a couple of visits I found I enjoyed going very much. I had a great person to help me muddle through a lot of issues with my health. Her teenage son had an auto-immune disease so she was very familiar in this area and that was a plus with me because of my crohns disease.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I am a dog lover and currently have 3. Its so hard when something happens to one whether its illness or old age and everything is wearing out on them. It sounds like he went peacefully and thats exactly how we want it for them and not to be suffering.

 

Please come back and post when you can and let your friends here know how things are going. Hugs.....Susie

Raindrop I was so happy to hear from you and I am glad that your dad is doing better.I have to tell you that when I was on the vent I was tied down also because I keep pulling my monitor (The little one on my finger for your O2 reading)Because I keep dreaming that a male intern was the one that shot me and that he was coming back to get the job done.Crazy dream but that is what happens when you are on all that medication.I was in rehab for 5 weeks to learn how to walk and take care of my self after my stay in I.C.U. They will help your Dad a whole lot.One of the other nice things is that my room was a lot bigger.

It's a miracle but I think my dad is going to pull through all this!  He is at a long-term care facility that specializes in rehabilitation.  The nurses were telling me that he is currently off the Ventilator settings but is on O2 at 7L. He is awake, alert, and tries to talk (but just mouths) instead.  I can read some of what he's saying.  I visited him just the other day and he was flipping through channels on the TV and very much alert!!!  They have obviously decreased a lot of his sedatives! 

 

My mother was telling me today while she visited him he was actually able to drink and eat at a pureed (baby food) texture. This was the first day he was able to do this...he has passed his swallowing study!  My mom said he couldn't get enough water to drink.  He kept asking for more water, and drank a few cokes during her visit.  He still has the trach, of course, and the G-tube.  The doctors say he's progressing very well so this is exciting news!!! 

 

My boyfriend and I also got a new dog...a Labradoodle (lab-poodle mix).  I miss our other dog that died not too long ago but this new dog is bringing so much joy in our lives.  He's a handful though.  He already weighs 25lbs at 12wks old!

 

Thank you all so much for your support!  I will keep posting as updates arise.  <<<Hugs>>> to you all!!!