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Posted 4/1/2009 6:57 PM (GMT 0)
A couple of weeks ago I had a nasty flare-up. It had been kind of cold & damp (I am one of the weather-sensitive ones), and I just hurt like hell. It lasted well over a week. Anyway, I am doing SOOOOO much better now. I have pain but I can live my life at this level. I am not going to be able to ski or play basketball or anything, don't get me wrong, but I am so thankful that there is once again more to life than just PAIN.
Posted 4/1/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
BrentE1961
It is good that you are doing better, but the question I have is since you said ("I have pain but I can live my life at this level") How good is your life exactly at that level? And how much pain are you still in? Are you on pain meds or under the care of a Pain Specialist?

The bottom sentence in the bottom block(("Pain level varies from disturbing to nearly intolerable.") does not paint a very pleasant picture to me. For your pain relief is that the best you can get?
I do wish you well!

White Beard
Posted 4/1/2009 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
How did you get to realize that there's more to life than just pain, Brent?
A lot of times, I think all I have is pain. (and my husband) I am ready
to learn a new way.
Pamela
Posted 4/2/2009 4:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Bret!!

I love good news and we'll take all we can get around here. I have fibromyalgia and the pain level goes wild with bad weather. We are into the second week of spring and with today's rain we had lots of snow mixed in....<sigh> Welcome to Washington. The Rain Fest ~ January 1 - December 31

Chutz
Posted 4/3/2009 10:14 PM (GMT 0)
Well, with regard to the best I can do - my CP doc thinks I should tolerate as much pain as I can within reason. Since I am still working and driving, I need to avoid getting too gorked out. That means staying light on the meds and tolerating more pain, I guess. I'm kind of old school anyway - men are supposed to be tough, Marines can handle it, all that.

When and how I realized that there is more to life than pain? When I caught my wife cheating on me 18 months ago, I was nearly suicidal. In short order I lost my house in the divorce, I had nowhere to live, my money was mostly gone, and I had crushing alimony / child support to pay to a women I took out of a hole called Kazakhstan and brought her & her family to America. All I saw was pain - physical and emotional.

Then I realized that even though I couldn't live with her, my daughter (7 years old), still loved me even though I am broke and hurting. She doesn't see me as a guy who is no fun - she sees me just as her Daddy, and she loves me. It was that innocent, unconditional love that saved me. When I get down about the pain, I just think of what we will do the next time I have her for the weekend. It works for me!
Posted 4/3/2009 11:14 PM (GMT 0)
wow brent. Im glad to hear you are feeling better.
Im so sorry to hear about your emotional pain. You really do sound like a strong man and you are right, our children are the ones who keep most of us going, and give us the will to continue on. Im glad that you have your daughter and that you are feeling better.
Posted 4/4/2009 5:01 PM (GMT 0)
Brent, I am so sorry about what your wife did to you...You don't deserve that...and having a great daughter makes everything seem worthwhile, doesn't it? So, keep up the good work and enjoy your daughter... And forget about the bad stuff for a while..

Me.
Posted 4/5/2009 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
BrentEW1961
You take care of yourself I know that men are suppose to be tough, and we are suppose to to suck it up! But marine or not you know as well as I do that is a bunch of crap! when we hurt we hurt!!! Anyway that little girl you have will always need her "Daddy" so take good care of yourself so you will always be there for her!
Good Luck to You

White Beard
Posted 4/5/2009 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
BrentE1961, I to am happy that you feel that you can see more to life than pain. Don't forget this. If you are like me, you will return again to the reality that pain can overwhelm us and take the center stage. It is at that time that I need to remember that I will again return to a point that I will allow life to be at the center and not pain. As per being from the old school and men need to be tough. Sometimes we need to graduate from the old school and enroll in a new school. Real men cry, have weaknesses, need others, and at times we even get depressed. I find that denying the reality of pain and what it causes in my lfe is not healthy. I hope that you continue to feel better and enjoy life. If you want to graduate from the old school, we (men like White Beard, Pete and others on this forum) will be glad to have you in the class at the new school. Keep us up to date on how the time with your daughter goes.  
Posted 4/6/2009 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for all the comments & support. I do know that all men need to release their feelings & vent negative emotions for health reasons, but I just am what I am. I have few close friends - to me, a friend is lifelong, someone that can count on me for help no matter the circumstance, and I do not make that judgment easily nor lightly. The friends I do have, though, I am able to share most anything with, and they provide me a "platform" to vent when I need it. I also have some strongly held beliefs, probably as a result of having them beaten into me at Quantico years back (lol), that a man shouldn't be too needy nor a whiner. I guess I could change, but I don't really want to. I need to be as functional as possible for my little girl, and if that means a bit more pain, I guess it is worth it. I just don't want to have her see me struggling or out of it - that I just cannot take. I guess I do it as much for myself as for her. So, I try to stay alert by going easy on the pain meds, and when what I do take isn't enough, I try to be stoic & remember that flare-ups eventually flare-down, so to speak. I'm not that hard-headed, don't get me wrong, for I do indeed take pain meds, which shows I can & do ask for help when I just can't take it anymore.
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