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Work-how R U managing? Me, not good

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Posted 4/6/2009 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
I've had two months of a bad run. First, I had a BAAAAD cold/sinus infection that lasted one month and for the past three weeks my fibro/UC is acting up: wake up every morning with head/neck pain, lots of fatigue, brain fog, absolutely no motivation, and yet, I'm forcing myself to go to work every day and I feel that any moment I'm about to scream (if I had the energy).

I've already taken two weeks off sick this year, so just can't go there.

Oh, and my favorite thing lately is all my coworkers telling me, "you don't look good today; you look really tired; any better?"  Shut UP!  They all know I have physical challenges, I've disclosed, I've even told people to not constantly ask me how I'm doing, if things get better, I'll let them know.  Why do people have to constantly comment on your physical appearance????  No one ever says, "gee, you seem extra smart today." 

Oh, and if I have to chip in for one more birthday cake, baby shower, pot luck, congratulation to you for "whatever" I'll go ballistic (just thought I'd throw that one in, because it's so forced, isn't it?)

I think I'm having a bad day.

Posted 4/6/2009 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
Big Lucy,
I don't have time to write much now, but I do think of you and am glad you posted.

((((((((((((((Big Lucy))))))))))))

For now, sending a healing hug, but I'll write more later.

And I don't blame you about the chip in things!

PaLady
Posted 4/6/2009 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Big Lucy,

I'm sending you a big HUG, you sound like you need it.  If your work will allow it, put up a funny, something saying to everyone "Not a good day.... Beware" LOL... I work in a small office, its only my boss and his wife and they know me well enough they can ask and know when it's a bad day or a so so day.  Plus I have funnies I put as a back drop on my computer and that will usually give them a heads up.  I hope you get feeling well enough you dont want to bite someones head off.  Which in someways might feel really good LOL.. (jk) 

Passing some calm thoughts and good feelings.....

Trouble :-)

Posted 4/6/2009 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
BigLucy.

I soo agree about being forced to chip in for stuff. I HATE it. I just want to explain that no, I don't care that so and so is having a child,graduating, birthday or what not but that would be rude.

As for work it is hard. Just today my boss asked the loaded question of "when will you be better" and that stung.
Posted 4/6/2009 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
BigLucy many hugs from here.....

I fully understand. I work fulltime and have forced overtime off and on. It hurts to work and having people around you always making comments can exhust us who are in pain. As we are just trying to make it though the day. I always just smile, kill them with kindness and go on with my day.

As for chipping in I hate that!!!!! I dont' go to work to make friends. Some of these people I wouldn't want to socialize with outside of work. DOn't take me wrong I like almost everyone there. I just cant stand having to chip in for so many things for a few people I can't stand! Or people from other departments, I don't even know them.

But with the way the economy has been no one has really done much of anything lately.
Posted 4/7/2009 12:09 AM (GMT 0)

BigLucy,

    I am new to this forum but I certainly feel for you.  It really is not nice to have someone tell you that you don't look good.  If I see someone who really doesn't look like they are feeling well I try to find something good to say like "your hair looks great today" or "that sweater really brings out the green in your eyes".  Because I know how much it can boost your spirits.

I also detest the requests for contributations for anything.

Ms Kitty

Posted 4/7/2009 3:43 AM (GMT 0)
Big Lucy, I feel so bad for you. Its rotten to not to feel good, but then to have everyone remind you, is the pits. I know what you mean about the chip it realy galled me especially when it was someone I didn't even know. Hope you get feeling better soon. Hugs, Susie
Posted 4/7/2009 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
I think I'd smile and say, "Oh, I'm not chipping in today. i found a beautiful card
and I'll be sending it to her."

If it was someone i was close to, I'd probably pass my own hat.

How great if you could leave that pit of vipers. I don't think I'd be able to think
straight in that office. You're doing it though and I congratulate you.

Pamela
Posted 4/7/2009 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks all, just got home after a long day and had to go to the lab to get lots of blood drawn, urinalysis/fecal samples (fun)--doctor wants to check everything b/c as I wrote previously, not doing good. Already got my urine lab back (via web, got to love the 21st century) and looks like I have blood and too much protein--I refused to freak out about that right now or what that may mean.
PaLady-waiting to hear from you, how's it going? I've been kinda out of the loop b/c really all I've been doing is working then resting so I can work some more. I thought I better get back to getting some support (and giving it) because today I felt soooo awful, well, you know.
Posted 4/7/2009 5:43 AM (GMT 0)
Big Lucy,
I don't know how you're keeping it up, but I guess we do until we can't. Sometimes I don't know if it's worse for people to tell us we look good (when we feel just the opposite) or that we look bad. Like you said, sometimes I'd like them to keep quite. And tell them hey, if there's a miracle and I'm cured you'll all be the first to know!

When I was working that pt. time job in the hospital they were constantly having parties for someone. I thiought it was really over the top when they had parties because people became a grandmother/father! I mean, come on. Isn't that what your family is for? I think there should be policies in all workplaces that you all chip in like $5 bucks a year for cards for everyone and that's IT. And if you're close enough to someone you can buy them a gift or take them to lunch on your own. It does get unreasonable. The employer should pay for things like flowers to be sent in the case of a death of an immediate relative, but that's it, IMHO. But I'm going off, aren't it? Especially considering I'm not working there anymore.

For me reality is moving in closer and closer by the day - the reality of losing my COBRA (I just got the formal letter today that my coverage will end 7/1), praying I can be eligible for Medicaid (but I don't know if they consider 401k money in that calculation, and I never thought I'd WANT to be eligible for Medicaid), and unemployment ending in about 3 weeks. My head is spinning trying to figure out what doctor appointments, tests, etc., I need to schedule in these next couple of months. Things I've been putting off like eye exams, some dental work, on top of all the pm stuff. So one of these days you will all read this post from me where I'm freaking out and you'll think I've lost my mind because I have! Each day it just gets better and better. Today there was, along with the COBRA notice, a bill from an exterminator for nearly $800 - and he actually made things worse for me, not better. I don't have the money to pay him anyway, but it's just one more thing that hangs on your shoulders - you know. So while I don't know how you physically manage to work, I understand the push to do so. Either way, it's scary.

Gee, that was uplifting! LOL

It's good to see you posting again, but I understand if you don't have the energy to do so. If I was working I'd be lucky to come home and crash.

Hugs to you!

PaLady
Posted 4/7/2009 6:50 PM (GMT 0)
How do I work, hummmm, denial mostly, I also do a lot of CBT techniques on myself.  Mainly, what pushes me is that I am crazy scared to lose my health insurance, because of what I know first hand and what I read from all of you. 

Posted 4/7/2009 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
Ugh...not good at all. Every time I try to garner the energy to do something (I work from home), I just can't concentrate. I feel like I have no energy these days..the pain just sucks it all out of me!

On that note..am off to a therapeutic massage. Hopefully that will help.

Danimal

Author of Chronic Stimulation- a blog about chronic pain and living with a neurostimulator

http://chronicstimulation.blogspot.com/
Posted 4/7/2009 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
Lucy,
I am really startiing to feel the fear now, about health insurance and lots of things. I just spoke with the welfare department - which in itself breaks my heart - to ask for clarification about the resource limit to apply for Medicaid until I can get through SSD stuff and get Medicare. I really thought I'd qualify since I'll so have pretty much no income, but they will count my small 401K, which is what I was going to use to LIVE ON while I wait for SSD. And that will put me over their lousy $2,000 resource limit! So I literally may be without health insurance until I spend my 401K. And there's no way I can use that to pay for a private insurance - I've done that in the past and I know what they cost.

PaLady
Posted 4/7/2009 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
I'm having empathy anxiety for you PALady; there's nothing to say but hang tough.  Oh, I just ran into a coworker I haven't seen for awhile and the first thing she said was, "you look really tired" and I said, "yes, I feel like crap, thanks for noticing."

Posted 4/7/2009 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
PS- I realized I didn't respond to your post, Lucy. I'm really sorry for what you're going through...people can be so, so insensitive.

Danimal eyes
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