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Posted 5/10/2009 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Here we go again! I wrote a long agonizing post to all of you this morning crying through the whole while. I wasn't sure if I would post it but then hit send and realized that I was on the prostate cancer site. I quickly went back and erased it once I realized what I had done but couldn't get my name off the post. So my name there is still there under the title "Can't stop crying again" with an empty space where the post was!> What a moron!

I thought about what I had wrote for a couple more hours of crying and descided to come back to the now dry keyboard and start over. I am so lonely and scared, my apt. with the marrage councellor yesterday was a disaster. It's off topic and I shouldn't even be writing about it but I have nobody to talk to and it's eating me up. I've also been thinking about how I come to this wonderful forum and write about my health and personal problems to all of you carring people who answer me with love, support and suggestions and then I do the exact opposite of what you suggest and I don't know why. I do it over and over again and each time there are less replies back to me. Of course there are less when I don't do the right thing the first, second and third time. I'm such an Idiot! I keep telling myself to stop posting here because I feel like I'm just doing it for the attention, so you'll tell me I'm a good person and as a Smart Lady here once put it "Stroke my ego." I don't want to be that person, I hate myself because of it. Maybe that is the reason I post here, I don't know. I just know that you all treat me with such compassion and I don't get that anywhere else. My marrage is a mess. My health is a mess. My job is a mess. My whole life is a mess right now and I just don't know what to do! So many of you have such worse health problems than me and your courage just humbles me. So many of you have financial problems that just bring me to tears but somehow you deal with them head on. I've been crying since yesterday morning on the way to the marrage councellor and haven't stopped yet. My wife and I started talking about when and how I was going to leave my job and move up with her. She makes it sound so simple. I don't want to go into what happened after that at the councellors but I did say a whole lot of things which I never would have dreamed of bringing up if it were just the two of us. I was nearly hysterical with my sobbing and ranting. When I finished both my wife and the shrink guy were speechless! I'm not sure weather he believed me or though I was a loony toon. My wife didn't say a word to me on the ride home and left for the other place where she lives shortly after but first looked at me and said, I'm sorry for being such a bad person. I still don't know even after 28 years of marrage if she was being truthfull or sarcastic. I told her that she's not a bad person and I love her. I just don't want to be treated badly and I just want to be loved, thats all I ever wanted. I love her so much and don't want to loose her but I may have gone too far this time. I told the truth as I see it. Maybe they are right and I am a off my rocker, I just don't know anymore.

Then there's work. Please don't think I'm asking for advise here because being the stupid that I am, I probably will not listen to all of your excellent suggestions anyway! I'm not only hurting in my neck but when I got up this morning I couldn't straighten out my right leg. My good knee was stuck bent and red hot. It's on the leg that I stepped in the hole with on Friday. And my lower lumbar spine is in spazms which will not pass. So I have three major issues from falling in that dam hole at work Friday. I just don't know what to do. I'm so lost, lonely and tired. I'm a mess and I wouldn't blame any one of you wonderful people if you didn't respond at all to this post. What could you say anyway? I am such a looser, what has happened to me? These dam tears just won't stop! I have to some how get myself together and bring my Mom dinner later. I also have to help her pack her car and get her condo closed up as my little Sister is arriving tomorrow to drive her back up to Jersey for the Summer. She refused to let me do it this year since I've missed so much work already. Also, even though she's 82, I'm sure she knows my neck isn't ready for a two day road trip yet. I have to get going now but first let me say to anyone here who thinks I'm posting all this for your pitty and boost my ego> I'm so sorry, I probably am. I just have no place else to go.

I love you all and can't thank you enough for sticking by me though my mess of a life I'm constantly throwing at you with these crazy posts. I'm truly sorry.

Pete

PS> My Doc gave me a script for Oxy#15's on Thursday and I haven't found one phamacy who has any yet. I've checked about 20 in the pass couple days. This got me to thinking about the bottle of Oxys I thought some one stole from me right after my hernia surgery 2 months ago. I started checking through my coset, a favorite hiding spot. In all the confussion back then between my two surgeries, I forgot I had hid some meds in a siute pocket in there. I found a bottle w/ 80 Oxy#15's and two full bottles of methadone in there! Talk about an Idiot! No, I never reported them stollen. I had extra's as before my neck surgery, I'd never take the amount they would prescribe for me! Geeze I'm pathedic!      

Posted 5/10/2009 6:23 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Pete,

Of course you will get responses to your post because we care about you!!  This may sound crazy, but when I reached the bottom I started to pray.  Its time for you to turn your problems over to the man above and his helpers that just wait for us to ask!  I understand my beliefs are not everyone elses, but speaking from experience, you do get answers and help in ways you never expected.

In the meantime, I'll send some extra hugs, love, prayers and warm wishes aimed directly at you!

XXOO
Patti

Posted 5/10/2009 6:59 PM (GMT 0)

Pete, where do I start. You have been so supportive to me and to others. Who else would call me Father Saint John. I have realized that the same feeling you are going through is not unique to any of us. Of course we come to this forum for support even when we do stupid things. Just because we do stupid things does not make us stupid or a bad person (not original). We just want to live our lives and have some semblance of what we think is normal. I think you just wrote something to me about the job situation and financial issues and how we don't want our CP to define either of those areas but it does.

I am not sure what you said in the counselors office and it does not matter as that was personal between you and your wife. I would think that was the place you should have been real as that is the purpose of counseling. Even when we feel hurt, lonely, angry, abandoned, misunderstood, worthless, too needy and the list could go on, we need to be able to express those emotions. As you well know, I just went through a season of writing posts and then deleting them as I questioned my motive and the appropriateness of what I had to say. You are in the right place to express what you need to. Of course we are going to question our motives. We get so mixed up inside because of the way our life seems to be put in a blender and everything gets mixed together and we can't seem to separate any of it. Remember we are not doctors or professional counselors but sometimes we are greater than that as we just share with each other on a level that they can't. Today you need the support, tomorrow or even today it could be me or someone else. We are here for each other and yes part of it is selfish as we want someone to listen. That is why we are here.

I am rambling Pete but what you need to accept, just like me, our lives are in the process of change and we don't have the control we want. That is painful and confusing. Take a deep breath and spend time with you mother and you will have time to deal with the other issues later. We care just like you care. Blessings buddy.  

Posted 5/10/2009 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
Pete, who is to say that the pain generated in the counselor's office is any less than the pain you otherwise feel. Worry about posting it here IF the board administrator tries to sue you; anything less and YOU win buddy. :-)

As far as the hidden Oxys, I'd say you are, at worst, lucky. Certainly better than I'd have done since I would've truly lost them.
Posted 5/10/2009 8:45 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,

You are truly a feeling human being. That's what makes you special and why we have all come to love you so much. Don't worry about posting here your emotions and forget about questioning your motives. That's like a dog chasing his tail.

We all have times in our lives when everything seems to be crumbling around us and nothing seems right either. Believe me, I've been there and I'll bet a lot of others will say the same. Your wife loves you and cares deeply about your well being. Don't ever forget that. Give yourself credit for being a great guy, will ya?? No matter what was said in counselling, nothing can take that fact away from you. You are a wonderful guy and we really really do love you.

Do you want me to remove your post from the prostate forum?? All you have to do in the future is email me and I can delete it. I would have already deleted it, but there are some responses there that you might want to read. So let me know ok??

Lindaloo
Posted 5/10/2009 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,
I'm kind of not sure what to say here. I guess I don't know if you were referring to me about the stroking your ego comment, but I don't recall ever having said that and I KNOW I don't think that. So if I ever said something that lead to your feeling that way, I do apologize.

Fatherjohn said so much so well I don't know that I can add anything. Life in a blender. BINGO! That's exactly how it feels for me, at least, and I think at times for all of us. That total loss of control over so much and Pete, for you so much all at once. I know that feeling. It's overwhelming. That's why I posted a couple of weeks ago and you were right there for me, even making such generous offers it brough tears to my eyes. Your caring is moving. But I don't think any of us are equipped to take so much going on all at once.

I hope you don't beat yourself up anymore about what happened at the counselor's office. Maybe you can just call your wife and apologize if some things were said out of your frustration, or in ways you didn't mean to say them, but sometiems painful truths need to be aired if a marriage or any relationship is to heal. I always think of it like cleaning out a festering wound. It hurts to douse it with peroxide but it's necessary.

You're a good man.

(((((((((((((Pete))))))))))))))

PaLady
Posted 5/10/2009 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Pete.
I have been visiting the chronic pain forum for about a month. In that time I have learned that I just thought I knew what CP was.
One thing that keeps me coming back is reading your posts. Not only do you seem to be a sensitive and compassionate man, you elicit those feelings in me.
There is nothing I can add to the wonderful answers you have gotten here.
But I did want to ask...Do you take anything for depression? There is such a thing as depression brought on by our life circumstances. If you aren't taking anything, please get to your doctor and discuss this with him/her. Getting your emotions more under control will give you more coherent thinking about whatever you need to do. You will also heal better if you are on an even keel.
This is just my opinion. But I deal with depression on several levels, and I function best even in hard times when I am consistent with my depression meds.
Please don't think I am taking away in any way from what you are going through. On the contrary, I take it very seriously. I am just suggesting that your not being able to stop crying, and your excessive feeling of guilt and worthlessness because of your circumstances give rise to the possibility that depression has set in, and you need help getting out. Take it from me (bipolarII, clinical depression, post trumatic stress syndrome) getting help shows strength of character, not weakness.
Wishing you strengthto continue fighting this battle.
Sincerely,
Posted 5/10/2009 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all so much for your support, I've settled down a little now since seeing my Mom. I just couldn't let her get wind of my problems, especially on Mother's Day! I don't have enough emotional energy to get back into this right now but I did want to say Thank You! It seems no matter how low I get, you are always there for me and I am trulely blessed to have all of you.
Linda, thanks for offering to delete my name from the other forum but as you stated, several old friends recocnized my name so I answered them. It wasn't fair to let them worry about me especially with the title I left there!
PA, NO I wasn't refering to you about that comment at all! I don't even remember when or where I saw it here. It just sounded so much like me that I used the term. Please don't take offence, I would never say anything intentionally to offend you in any way! You are my Guardian Angel! I'll never be able to repay you for all the help you have given me here!
Patti, T.M. & F.J. Words can't state how I feel about you all. God Bless you! Thanks from the bottom to the top of my heart!!!!
Vickie, the answer to your question is yes. I've been on one form of antidepression drugs or anothe since they first put Prozac on the market. I'm currently on Effecsor 150mg per day and it doesn't seem to be working very well. Three weeks ago at a Dr. visit for a yearly physical I became so emotionally unwound, my PCP almost had me Baker acted as he was afraid of me hurting myself but he refused to change my meds. I've also had bad hormoanal problems which I haven't quite got resolved yet. I am like I said a mess or a work in progress. I hope. Way too much for me to go into now but thanks so much for your kind words and concern!
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day!
Your Friend always!
Pete
Posted 5/11/2009 12:13 AM (GMT 0)
Pete,
Just wanted to says next time you fall or are hurt at work REPORT IT right away and I
ment that to be big..Your my friend and if you get hurt at work then your boss need to know
so that work comp pays for it...
Now you know I care about you and hope the visit with your mother has helped, don't
be worried about your post to vent and well if it helps get it off your chest then just post..
try ice packs on your knee and neck. Ice is good for the first 24 hours..
call in sick tomorrow and just go and take your wife to a movie even if it's just the
x-men movie, cause sounds like you need a lazy day, heck we all could use a plain
old lazy day.
if you do go into work then try to duck out early and use ice on your neck and knee..
yur friend
Chart
HUGZ
((((((((((((((((((Pete))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted 5/11/2009 12:46 AM (GMT 0)

Hey Pete, I sent you an email.  Call me.  I need to talk to you, my friend.  You were there for me two and a half years ago and I'm here for you now.  I offer no solutions, but a shoulder and understanding and hope and a sharing of tears.  I am crying as I write this as I was then.  You are a worthy guy and I am going to kick your backside if you keep beating up on yourself.  I am sorry that you and Pete's Co-Pilot are not doing well.  Do you still have that Ducati 900SS?

Regards,

Bill 

Posted 5/11/2009 1:43 AM (GMT 0)

Pete,

 Man I realy don't know you, but you have commented on my posts a few times! I kinda know what you are going threw! My life is a mess to! i have no life, my back is getting worse all the time! The meds aren't working, and as this moment, I don't have a doctor! I am on Fentanyl patch's and will be out in a few days, I talked to my drugest friend, and he said I was going to go threw withdraw and pretty bad! And after 7 years of being in pain for all that time I don't think I can take the with draws! I used to be scared of nothing, and as the word and the attroneys and the court and then my like long Doctor dropped me for something that wasn't my fault, he did it so he thought he would get out of going to trail Ha ha! i am scared to death, and it has my mind so messed up, I can't gey out of bed!

Hang in there Pete, I know you are tuffer than me!

ACE

Posted 5/11/2009 6:07 AM (GMT 0)
Pete, I just wanted you to know that I also care about you and what is going on in your life. You are having a hard time to say the least. I don't have alot more to add to what already has been said. But I do want you to quit being hard on yourself. You are more than that. Don't beat yourself up any longer. You don't deserve that by any means. You pick your head up. We are all here to give you support and help in any way that we can. I am sorry you are going through all of this. I can understand the tears. Sometimes things seem to get so bad that the floodgates just open up and the nonstop tears come. It really physically hurts.
I wish that I could say something that would make you feel better. Just know that you are not alone. You are on a bumpy road at the time. But it will get better. I wish you an inner peace and lots of comfort. I will be thinking about you and will keep you in my prayers.
Anice
Posted 5/11/2009 8:15 AM (GMT 0)
Pete,
I hope you got a little rest overnight. I just wanted to leave you a post with a hug, from your Guardian Angel. smilewinkgrin

(((((((((((((Pete))))))))))))))

I hope you find some peace today. Not perfection, just a bit of solace. You more than deserve it.


PaLady -------> probably more of a devil than an angel! yeah
Posted 5/11/2009 11:50 AM (GMT 0)
JetGuy Bill,
Geeze it's good to hear from you! I'm sorry I dragged you into my big mess, I had no intention of doing so. Once I posted in the pc forum by mistake, I didn't know how to get my name and the title off of there! I'm so happy you are doing so good w/ your treatments, it sounds like you've got that monster beat! I saw your post late last night but was just to rung out to reply, sorry. It's monday A.M. and I just called in to work and told the boss I wouldn't be in which went over like a lead balloon even though I reinjured myself at work! You sent your e-mail to my work adress which I had listed but I can't retreve it from here so I changed it to my home adress in my profile. I hope you write as I would love to call and talk to you. As you can see, I have so many good friends here who like me are stuggling with cronic pain issues. We are like family here maybe even more than than the PC family except for the certain few we were so close to back then. You, BikerJim Swimom and a couple of others. It doesn't get any better than what we had together, what a team we had fighting that evil pc and everything that went along with it!! I check in once in a while just to make sure the old gang is doing well but seldom post anymore. I'm sorry that I haven't, I'm such a ****
Lisa called late last night after we had said goodnight earlier and caught me in one of my crying fits which I was unable to hide from her. We talked for a long time and I think we really made some headway. There is still a lot of love there even though there are many times when I just don't see it. It's been a rough time living without her after being together for so long. I hate it but we are so bogged down with this economy and my health problems from all those crashes and smashes back when I was young coming back with a vengance haunting me! I remember boring you and the others with posts of the horror stories from my youth back in the pc forum. Yes, I still have my Ducati and was even fixing it up prior to my latest problems. I thought maybe I would be able to ride her again someday but the posabilities of that happening are not looking to good. My boys both want it. My older son has a Kawi 1100 rocket ship out in Seatle he rides through the Mts. It scares me but who am I to talk. I just tell him he doesn't want to end up like me and to be careful!
To all my other family who have given me so much support, I'm sorry this post sounds like it's adressed to my old pc friend JetGuy, it's an update for all of you or I would have written it on the pc forum. My work keeps calling me so I'll have to finish this post later.
God Bless allof you!
Your Buddy,
Pete

Post Edited By Moderator (Lindaloo) : 5/13/2009 8:37:40 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/11/2009 3:39 PM (GMT 0)
Ace,
Yes, I remember you! What happened? Geeze, I'm crying like a baby and it sounds like your up the creek w/o a paddle! Please let me know whats going on? They dropped you? What happened for them to drop you? You were a workman's comp case right? Sorry but I forgot where you live, out west somewhere? Man, that really stinks to get pushed around by the ones who are suposed to be helping you. Can you call anyone? A Congressman or Senator's office? You should try everything you can right now before the withdrawls start! I know you probably think you have already tried everything but maybe some one here can think of something you missed if you start a new post??? Man I'm sorry I didn't answer you sooner, I didn't read all the posts last night and when I saw my old friend Jetguy this AM, I wrote him back right away w/o reading the other posts, **** I wished I had! PLEASE write back!! Maybe someone can help you! I will do anything I can to prevent whats going to happen to you if I can and I'm sure the others here will to. We take care of our own here when ever possible! Ace>>Write back!!!
Your Friend,
Pete

Post Edited By Moderator (Lindaloo) : 5/13/2009 8:38:59 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/11/2009 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
Pete, I'm sure glad you stayed home today, and hope that you'll take it easy tomorrow when you go back
try to use ice compressess might help, You've been through a lot in your life, so can totally understand
your crying and holding in the tears can do more harm then letting them flow, hope you had a lazy day today.
lots and lots of soft hugz.........
((((((((((((((((((((Pete))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I've riden a dirt bike, not on the streets but in a large field, didn't have a licence for street use...
you know there are some bit**** three wheelers.. hehehe....
yur friend Chart
Posted 5/12/2009 1:38 AM (GMT 0)
((((((((((Pete))))))))))))))

I am so sorry that I haven't been around for you the last few days! But, there are so many of us here that care deeply about you! You have GOT to stop being so hard on yourself!! Pete, you're the only one who sees yourself as an attention seeker, and a baby, and all those other things you call yourself! I know I speak for everyone here when I say that we don't believe that one bit! We see how strong you are, not giving into your boss, trying to make amends with your wife, being a good son and father, and dealing with the pain. None of this is easy, not at all! We are all concerned about you Pete! We wish nothing but good things upon you, and pray that your situation improves. We shudder every time that you hurt yourself, and cry with you every time that you are upset, and jump for joy when something in your life goes right. We are here for you! We worry about you, Pete! So stop beating yourself up. If you don't open yourself up to someone, you'll eventually burst. There is only so much that you can keep inside, especially when it sits so heavy on your heart.

Pete, you have helped so many people here. You are always one of the first to comfort me when I am down & tell me that everything will be okay. You've helped me through some really rough days and situations. Let us help you. Don't ever regret writing about yourself! We are here for you when you need us, whether that be every day, every week, or once in a blue moon. We post when we need love and support and understanding, not necessarily sympathy, but just to feel that we are not in this alone. I truly do hope that you are feeling better tonight, both emotionally and physically. I am glad that you took the day off of work, allowing you the day off is the least that your boss can do after that situation he put you in last week!

Big hugs,
Skeye
Posted 5/12/2009 2:21 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Skeye, Oh what a difference a day makes! I do feel much better after staying home even though my jerky boss got upset when I called in! I offered to take matterial orders from home and he said don't do anything untill I call you back because he was going to try to get the guy who took my place last time to fill in. Well, of course he never called back and in the meantime, I was flooded with calls from all the guys in the feild looking fot material for their jobs. A typical Monday, so I took orders and called them in without purchase order numbers. The invoices will only come back to my desk first anyway and I will have to fix them then. This guy is so stupid! If I was dishonest, I could clean up! I buy everything, millions and millions of dollars worth and then I get the bills first! But I'm so honest, I wouldn't steel a wirenut from him! I am the perverbial nice guy who always finnishes last! Sometimes I think it's a curse! Maybe thats why I'm such a big believer in Karma, maybe I should be a Hindo?? Oh I'm just getting silly now, must be that manic stage coming> Geeze I hope so! Anyway, bless you for the kind words you say about me, I wish I could live up to them! Trust me, I'm not nearly as good as you think! My Little Sister got here today and is driving my Mom up to Jersey in the morning. Oh how I wish I was driving Mom up to her lake house like I always do this time of year! The Northeast is so awsome in the Spring and then there is the flyfishing for trout in those hemlock and rodedendrum surrounded streams! I was over at Mom's condo helping her pack the car full of plants, she has to take them all because she treats them like pets and can't leave any to die in the heat! Then we had to put a net behind the front seats so her nutty cats Charley & Ruthy which are both males but named after her parrents so Ruthy has to make believe, can't climb up in front of the driver on the dashboard or under the gas pettle! I then took them both out to eat, no not the cats! We got back and my Sis made me stay to watch House who she loves! I used to watch it with Pete Jr. he loved it too, but after he left it wasn't the same and I didn't watch it anymore. Funny how that happens! OK, before I get anymore goofy, I'm going to bed! I've already descided I'm blowing off work tomorrow and if wackoboss doesn't like it, he can kiss me where the sun don't shine!
Thanks again Skeye, you are such a doll! You are going to make someone very very happy someday! That will be one lucky #@)(*&^^++_#!!!
Here's a Big Hug just for YOU!!!
Pete
Posted 5/12/2009 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Pete, HUGZZ>>>
TC and Skeye is always so nice...
Posted 5/12/2009 3:12 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so glad you're feeling so much better, sorry I've been away for a few days too. (School fete and helping out at a cross country) It sounds as if it was a bit of a cathartic experience for you with the councellor and your wife, I really believe its positive to clear the air even if you have to "suffer the consequences" of your words, in the end everyone knows exactly where you stand. As for your incredibly unsupportive and unappreciative boss, why don't you just make a log of all your home calls you've dealt with, so in no uncertain terms he knows what you do for him behind the scenes. I love the image of the rhododendrums, I lived in Ireland for 5 years and there were so many there in the countryside, don't see so many here. My daughter also loves House, I don't think the later episodes are as interesting, or maybe its just too formulaic. I hate the way they can finally diagnose some immune condition and say put them on steroids and methotrexate and send them on their way, when you know darn well that its only the beginning for that poor patient and certainly not a cure!!!

Posted 5/12/2009 3:29 AM (GMT 0)
I read your posts and they keep me strong knowing how you get thru the day. You have a lot of strength, dont lose it. I hope your relationship turns around. It may get rocky but there is love deep hiden and it will resurface. My husband and I have had past times where the argument just couldnt resolve itself and he could of left along time ago but he didnt. Most of the arguments are about me hurting and he had adjusted and has became supportive at times. hang in there.
Posted 5/12/2009 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
Glad to hear that you are doing better today, Pete! Thanks for my hug, I need it today!

Skeye
Posted 5/12/2009 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
Pete,
I'm glad to hear you're doing better, too! And so glad you're taking more time off!! Good for you!

Take care of yourself!

PaLady
Posted 5/12/2009 2:18 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Pete,

 I hope you are doing a little better today! I havn't been out of the house for a week! It's a long story, but I will try to make it short as I can! The forst time I got hurt Oct.2002, after a lot of test, and one real pain full one, one surgeon said I need tri fusion, everyone knows you can't do that, after 2 years of battling W.C. My Attroney talked me into settling foe peanuts and left my back open. I worked everyday except the day after I got hurt and when I would go out of town for tests,I made my Doctors appointments after work.for the next 4 years my back got worse everyday, but I did my job! The Supertendant changed W.C. companies! Mid July of 2006 I got 3 marker board to hang on the wall, the heavest was 439 lbs, and I had a 14 year old boy who weight was 98lbs, we would get a old one down, and a new one up, then the rest of the week I would lay on a mechanics creeper laying down and painting the base boards for the rest of the week, took 3 weeks we got them hung. On Dec 18, 2006 I was taking a small bag of trash to the dumpster! I feel down, when I got feelong back in my right leg, I put the trash up, and went inside and told the secratery that I had to go to the doctor and get a shot, he took me of work for good! 1 1/2 years go buy and my doctor makes me a appointment with a pain specailist, 2 days before I go, W.C. Stops its. 90 days to get a court date, after the court date, 3 days later, I get my Court Order telling My Doctor to make the appointment. 3 weeks goes by and I havn't hurd anything, my wife is gripping at me to call over there and find out what was going on. So I called, I as the lady that does the scheduling, what was the problem, she told me that I was to make the appointment, I told her that wasn't what the court order said, then she said I was on top of the stack (3 weeks) so i ask here what was it, was she going to, or was I going, I was mad now no back words but I can get read ruff and loud, she went to crying, and I ask her to give the phone to the head nurse, in 30 mins. I had my appointment. The next day, I got a register letter from the Doctor(who I thought was my friend , we had hunted and fish for over 20 years toghter) telling me he would no longer see me! I had a appointment in 8 days so he had to see me then, I told him that I couldn't just get a Doctor, it had to go threw court! I am on Fentanly patches, so he she's me after hours and rights my scripts, i go to court and get 3 doctors to pick from, 2 are W.C. Doctors and one I don't know, so i pick him, he turns me down, because he doesn't take cases allready going. So at this point I don't have a Doctor, I will be out of meds in a few days! i don't have the money to pay a ER Doc, and the patches are $200.00 a month and I will have to pay for them my self because the Er Doc's are not approved by W.C.

So I am lost, with no where to go! The patches state right on the package don't just stop taking, can and has caused death! No one seems to care, but my wife and I! I am so tried of not having a life being in pain all the time, I guess what ever happens happens!

There isn't anything I can do, and my attroney doesn't seem to be to worried!

Thanks for your consern Pete!!

You get better if you can!

Later ACE

Posted 5/12/2009 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Ace, See the post> "Where's Ace Lungger" Right away!!!
Thanks,
Pete
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