Trusting Doctors

Friends, I will try again. (The last Thread took on a life that was not intended. It is 1 am and I thought this sounded like a good thread. I hope that if I get to sleep and wake before going to work I can re-read this and still hope it sounds like a good idea. I notice comments in Posts and I have faced this myself. Do we, and if so, how much do we trust our doctors. You read the medical license that is sometimes posted on the walls in the exam rooms but it does not say, graduated 151 out of 152. At least he wasn't at the bottom right. There are places where you can check out doctors but I am not sure how reliable those sites are. We can get recommendations from other, read advertisements or like in my case, he is the only one for over 800 miles that would agree to see me. My questions are simple.   What criteria do you use to gauge how much you trust him or her? Do you simply trust him or her just because they have a degree and an office? What steps do you take to check out a doctor before going to see him. On my surgeon last year, I told him I checked him out (even though he was the only surgeon who would agree to see me). He asked me what I found out about him. I told him his wife's name, son and daughters names and what college they are attending, his political affiliation, awards received and some major medical interest causes he had been attached to as a donor. I knew when and where he went to med school and where he did his internship.  He was impressed and maybe a little worried. I am not advocating all this was necessary, but what steps do you take before trusting a doctor to help you with major life issues?

Two-way communication gets established and we agree on the major items relating to my health (how we are going to approach treatment(s)). This could also be a reason I look for another doctor later - our approaches begin to differ and we can't find a common ground.

I will give him/her the small things. But we either have to agree, or s/he must be able to convince me on the big issues.

(Or did you not want responses?)

I was lucky with my first GP, an Colonel in the Belgian Medical Service (now enjoying his well-earned pension). He gecame my GP since I was 6 months, I knew him most of my life. When looking for a specilist, I always asked for his advice. Those he adviced were all thinking along the same lines, which I liked. Now, I follow the advice of my trusted doctors, some of whom I've know for 2O years when seeking additional help.

Although degrees matter, they don't tell the whole story and often experience is more important. The general attitude of a doctor is most important to me. Good doctors are those who listens to their patients, who are not afraid to admit mistakes or the fact that they don't know what should be done. The human connection is important. A doctor should look beyond the technical details of a case and look at the patient, his/her environment, etc.

In my personal case, I don't like compassionate doctors, compassion clouds judgement. I like straightforwardness. One of my doctors told me he has absolutely no clue as to what is wrong (chronic diarrhea for 20 years now and massive rectal blood loss, amongst other things). We are now exploring, together, other options. The doctors at my local hospital trust me to the point where I administer my own medication sa they consider me to be better capable of judging when I need what kind of medication. We are now trying morphine sulphate to counter the diarrhea. We discuss together (several specialists and myself) the daily dose, the frequency of the medication, etc. I keep my own statistics and write my own reports. That's what I call good doctors; trust works both ways. I realize this is an extreme case, but doctors should trust their patients as well as vice versa.

I suppose it is only human you are a little cautious when first visiting a new doctor, but after a while, you should feel comfortable with such a visit, if not, something is wrong. If you feel uneasy having to see one of your regular doctors, then most likely that's not the right doctor for you. After a couple of visits you should be able to have clear and frank conversations with your doctor without feeling uneasy, no matter what the topic. If not, I'd look for another doctor. Last year I ditched my new GP, she was nowhere near the Old Colonel. Now I no longer have a GP, just my trusted specialists and it works great. We often have combined meetings: several doctors together discussing my case (me being there as well of course).

Those are my, rather elaborate views on doctors. Hope it is worth something to you.

fatherjohn
For me I trust my pain Doctor, more than any Doctor I have ever had, much more than my PCP! My pain Doc is not only competent, he is caring and for me he does more than my PCP ever did! I mentioned this once before my pain Doc connected me up with a counselor, who I have been seeing for over a year, originally about my marriage, and then to help me through this divorce! When I see him once a month for my prescription refills he alway ask me how I am doing and if I have any problems! and he actually listens, then schedules the appropraite test or makes referrals to the appropraite Doctors! I rarely see my PCP, because between my monthly visits to my Pain Doc and going to convenient care, if I need to have something looked at right away, I seldom see my PCP! I like my PCP but I am not overly confident in her skills or ability! I have more confidence in her Nurse Practioner!

What I look for in a Doctor is a person that takes the time to get to know their patients and cares about them! So it takes a number of visits to find that out. I don't want a Doctor who is Patronizing or thinks they know it all, and blows you off! I have seen to many of them in my day!

White Beard

Can't read entire postings on the other page but copied and pasted my reply from there to here........alot of times Dr's have had malpractice strikes against them that don't tell the true story!  My judgements and choices of Dr.s  are based on how his/her office hums, you can usually tell by the office staff, if they care usually the Dr does too.  If he listens, is open to hearing your questions and admitting he doesn't know something but is willing to check into it for you and makes you feel cared for or hopeful when there isn't anything else to do, asks how the pain level is, really wants to hear HOW you ARE DOING, REMEBERS your last visit (even if he has to read his notes),  Offers you new treatments if he thinks it might help and makes you feel like you are his ONLY patient...well in my book thats the Dr. for me!! 

XXOO
Patti

One thing (of several) that struck me was the notion of having a doctor who is curious - intellectually curious - about what's causing our symptoms. I think too many doctors have lost that. It's a 'med check" mentality, and I really blame the insurance companies a lot for that. The changes that have come in health care over the past 30 years have taken so much power away from doctors I think many have just given in. And to an extent I can understand that because I've been on both sides of the insurance form, so to speak.

It's sad. Because I think the caring and the curiosity, put together, are two necessary elements for a great doctor. Not the only elements,but it's a good start. And those are elements that I think over time lead us to trust that a doctor is at least going to try to do his/her best for us.

PaLady

Before my current problems I hardly ever saw doctors (except my ophthalmologist). My pcp's in the past were alright, although I never felt completely comfortable with any of them, but it didn't matter much because I only saw them once a year for a physical, if that. My current pcp, I love to death. I hadn't been his patient for long before my injury, but he really stepped up. He definitely makes you feel like you are his only patient (you'd never know that if it wasn't urgent, it would take months & months of waiting to get in!). He will & has, spent an hour or more with me. He his extremely caring & compassionate and extremely knowledgeable (and is always doing research for me). He advocates for me, he LISTENS to me, he is always sharp & he's not afraid to tell you what he thinks, or say so when we are out of his league. I would, & do trust him with my life. I wish that every doctor could be like him. I also love my ophthalmologist, who I have been with for over 20 years. He has seen me through so much & never let me down (perhaps with exception of my current situation, but I don't really think he let me down, he has just run out of ideas & options, and so has everyone else!). He has many of the same qualities & I trust him very much as well.

Nowadays I feel like I have so many doctors (because I do!). Some of them I don't like or don't trust, although I have weeded most of those out, with the exception of one, who I am currently looking to replace, if necessary. The one that I didn't like the most, I "fired" yesterday! It felt so good! I knew from the first appointment that we weren't going to get along, yet I had to see him, because he was the specialist in the area who took my insurance. He didn't listen to a thing I said. He never remembered me, my past visits, my history, or the meds he had prescribed for me. He was outright obnoxious & extremely arrogant - his way was the only way. He didn't care about you at all. He didn't except no for an answer (which lead to several torn up scripts on my part, as I had told him "NO" & he didn't listen, so I just ripped up the paper & did it my way anyway - hey, it's my body!). Yesterday was the last straw! He really infuriated me, because he was criticizing my decision by making false claims. I argued with him for ten minutes, before confirming to myself what a "jerk" he was & getting up & walking out of the room and never looking back.

Having trust in a doctor is so important! I don't feel that there can be effective doctor-patient exchange without trust. Nor do I think that you will gain much out of your experience unless there is trust & effective communication. Of course knowledge and drive are important as well. I also look for bedside manner, although there are some instances where it is not as great a concern, but for me, I have a hard time talking to & getting along with someone who has bad bedside manner. They also must be conversive - I need to ask my questions! There is nothing worse than leaving an appointment more frustrated, upset, etc. than when you went in because you didn't feel that the doctor listened, cared, talked with you (rather than at you), let you ask the questions you need to ask, etc -- especially when they break some major news!!

As for finding a doctor. I usually rely on suggestions/referrals from my other doctors (whom I do trust). I also keep in mind things that friends, or patients of that doctor who I may know or talk to say. I do research them on the internet, although I don't always believe what/if anything is written about them. I'm more concerned with their affiliations, and accomplishments, but I never really judge until I meet them in person through one or more appointments. I have never thought about checking with the state licensing board, & I don't think that I would, or will. As others mentioned, malpractice suits are not always what they appear. If a doctor really did something bad, or is one to be avoided, you generally learn of this reputation ahead of time.

Skeye

fatherjohn

You are right it is an important subject and we do hope that weget the "right" Doctor and can build the right relationship! You know I have mentioned on several occasions that after my divorce is finalized that I was going to stay in in the area at least for a while until I decided where I wanted to go, and there was nothing really  holding me in this area, as I have no family  here, except my doctors and my medical condition.  But that there is a real biggy! I have a  Pain Doctor that I not only trust completely with reguard to treating managing my pain,  but also for just  about every other aspect of my medical care! Even thouh he is just suppose to be my pain Doctor, he does so much more than that for me! I am honestly afraid that I would never find another Doctor like him! And at least for right now that alone is enough to keep me in this area!

skeye I do think you are amazingly perceptive as to what is important  in looking for  a Doctor!

White Beard