Splashdancer said...
PAlady: so much of what you have said to me rings so true to my situation! When you said how you feel "stripped naked" because so many people know about your issues, I SO identify with that. I am not the kind of person that likes telling other people about my problems, especially when they are so deeply personal. I'm also not the type of person who worries about what other people think of me - I am who I am. But it is embarrassing to have to admit to others details of the mess that is my life. But when you are trying to get help, you have to lay all your cards on the table, so to speak. And I get SO tired of explaining it over and over again - each time I feel like more of a loser and more pathetic. I hate that feeling 
. And especially when you deal with government agencies, so many of the caseworkers/employees don't treat you too kindly - at least in my experience. If they can't handle the pressures of their job or if they lack the simple human trait of compassion, they need to make a career change. Even some supposed "Christians" have treated me like I have a disease or something. I hate to be the one to break it to them, but they could very easily be me. No one is immune from poverty - it can happen to anyone. I treat people with respect and I expect no less in return. I stand up for myself and I have no problem with letting someone know that I won't tolerate being treated with disrepect. No one has the right to look down on me or my family. Oh geez, I'm off on one of my rants again - sorry 'bout that! 
Well, since I've already veered off the exit ramp, here's some more. Everyday I remind myself that many people are worse off than me. You know that old saying: "I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet." I try hard to remember that and heck, I'VE been through worse (although not financially). I was attacked when I was 14, my firstborn son died when he was 2 days old, my two older sons were abducted by my ex-husband and disappeared for 10 years, and my oldest son came close to dying twice before he was 4 years old - once from superventricular tachycardia and once from transverse myelitis. Ok, there I go again - too much information. Guess I should have posted a warning - I usually hold things in, but when I vent, I REALLY vent 
! After all of that, it is probably hard for you to believe that I actually don't like to tell people my problems (and I very rarely do) - I would much rather lend an ear to someone else. I will give you all a break now, I'm pretty sure most of you are tired of hearing my rants! I just want everyone to know how much I appreciate all of your responses to me. I can't explain it, but hearing from all of you seems to lighten my load a bit - even if it's just for a few minutes while I am reading them. You all are great - thank you! 
I will end this with a bit of good news. One of the church elders paid our past due electric bill - NO SHUT-OFF TOMORROW! Huge relief. He told us there is nothing more he can do right now and he was like "apologizing" for that. I couldn't beleive it. I was in tears. This wonderful man just prevented us from being without power and he's apologizing to me! Ok, this time I mean it - I will stop whimpering for the nite! Please everyone, have a peaceful day. 
I'm so glad that someone was kind enough in the church to help with your electric. I've had my electric turned off more than I can count. As always the Salvation Army Center helped me out. I would like to help if I can. Just tell me what else you need for the kids? Email me [email protected]
HARA