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Posted 2/25/2010 1:29 AM (GMT 0)

I had the strangest dr visit today. First of all, I showed the dr all of my pain sheets and she “read over” 1 of them and then looked all around it until I asked her if she wanted to keep it. She said she didn’t, but she sure would like to have a copy for all her patients to fill out! Good going Chutz!! Ha! I am so glad you suggested we use those sheets! I didn’t have the site on me, but I would have given it to her for her patient’s sake! This is the weird part.  She sent me for an MRI on my shoulder that has been really painful for a while, back in December. In January she sent me to the chiropractor at the clinic who said he had no idea why they kept sending me to him as he would not touch my back due to the Syrinx. I then went to see her the next week, still in January and that’s when she upped my pain meds to Percocet 10/325 mg. Today I went in and told her how I can’t move my arm and that the pain I was having in December had gotten "well look at the pain sheets!” She then looked at my file & stopped, closed the file and said, “You have a very seriously torn rotator cuff.” Huh? I asked her what that was and she told me I will need surgery as it is “severe”. I was looking at her like she was crazy when she said she’d get me in to see an orthopedic surgeon. What? What just happened here? My husband was livid. He told her it would have been nice to have been told back in December what was going on and then she wrote me a script for Roxicodone 15mg which I’d never heard of. So, all this to say, I really don’t have faith for her to find a good doctor to do surgery on me! I can’t thank all of you enough for giving me the extra courage I needed to ask for a copy of all of my records and I’m looking for a doctor if there is surgery to be done! Well, at least the police officers got a break today, there wasn’t one on sight!

Cat(z4)

Posted 2/25/2010 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
Cat

You know the saying better late than never? Well I guess that is the way you have to look at this! Unbelieveable! I can definitely understand your frustration, she at least gave you a pain med that might help a little! I wish you well on your quest for finding a good surgeon, after you see one you might want to see another and get a second oppinion, at least make sure every one is on the same page! I do hope things work out for you!

Good Luck to you!

White Beard
Posted 2/25/2010 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
wow catz,

don't you just love some drs!!! I can't believe she left you so long with a torn rotator cuff, how bad is that? Imagine the extra damage you have caused it leaving it so long without treatment. Honestly these people who do they think they are. It makes me furious for you.

Hope you manage to find a good surgeon to sort you out properly. Sending healing wishes, golitho

Posted 2/25/2010 3:50 AM (GMT 0)
Cat,

Wow! It is one thing not calling you if the MRI comes back negative, but to wait TWO MONTHS to tell you that you have a "severely" torn rotator cuff! There is no excuse for that! None! It's a good thing that you are going to switch doctors! Definitely set up an appointment with an orthopedic specialist soon! Wow! shakehead At least you now have a great excuse to request your records!

As for the med change. I believe that roxicodone is the same thing as oxycodone, which is the same thing as percocet, just without the tylenol. I hope the new meds make a difference for you!

hugs,
Skeye
Posted 2/25/2010 3:56 AM (GMT 0)
Catz4,
I have to second White Beard's advice. Not only do you need to find a good doc, but if there's surgery involved get a second opinion. Is there a teaching hospital anywhere within driving distance?

This whole operation sounds like a piece of work, to put it mildly. The police officer, sending you repeatedly to a chiro who thankfully had the sense not to make things worse. Get your records, continue getting your meds from there only until you can find better services.

Good for you for standing up for yourself!

PaLady
Posted 2/25/2010 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
Catz4, I agree with everyone else here, and I'm so, so sorry you've been suffering like this while all this time, your doctor had the info on what was wrong. Unforgiveable, and I would seriously be questioning her competency to practice medicine.

Good luck with the new pain meds and gentle hugs for continued strength.

Pam
Posted 2/25/2010 10:10 AM (GMT 0)
My HW Family,
Thank you all so very, very much! You validate how I feel and I need that to go forward. I've been stuck in this rut with that pm group for almost 3 years! I'd have just stayed there being miserable if I hadn't found out through all of you that I deserve better and more! I hope you guys understand the full magnitude of how precious you all are to me. I am blessed to have a best friend, but she has her own major issues. Her husband (issue #1) and children are terrible to her plus she lives in Texas while I'm in Tennessee. In addition I have a great husband who would love to understand, but can't.
What you guys give me is complete acceptance, validation, guidance and a soft place to fall. How can I say thank you that big?

Catz4
Posted 2/25/2010 11:25 AM (GMT 0)
Cat...

I find myself just shaking my head as I read your post... I can't believe your doctor would "overlook" telling you about a torn rotator cuff...wow. I don't blame you - and your husband - for being livid! I sure would be. I really hope you find a doctor that will be completely thorough with you...and give you the care that you (actually, anyone) deserves. I know it's easy to fall in the "comfort zone" and stay with a doctor...I've done that, too, and really suffered for it. You'll really see the difference once you find the right doctor. Then, you'll think "Why DID I stay with Dr. so-and-so for so long?" Trust me.

I know exactly how you feel about this board, and the people here. I think the majority of us feel the exact same...that's why we stay :) I've said this time and time again...it just makes such a difference to talk w/ people that understand; that you don't have to explain all of the little details....because we GET it. Does that make sense? There's nothing like unconditional love and understanding in my book...and I've found it, too, in my friendships here.

Looking at your signature line, I see that we share many similar health issues, in addition to chronic pain (as if that wasn't enough!). I'm trying to work on all of my health issues...but I'll tell ya... it's a full time job just to do that! I just try to take things day by day...because looking at the bigger picture can put me back to bed! lol...

Anyway, good luck on getting the doctor that you need and deserve. --Tina
Posted 2/25/2010 12:01 PM (GMT 0)
Wow Tina, we do share many of the same things!! Yuck! "Share" now there's an odd word to use in conjunction with pain, but share we do which makes this whole thing just a little bit easier to carry don't you think? And YES! We Do Get It!!! That makes all the sense in the world. I'd like to ask you a million questions, but if it's ok, since I need to keep it short here, I'll ask a couple. Are you in constant, intense pain? Like the kind of pain you can't put away because it consumes all your thoughts? The smiley/frowny face number 10, have you read what it says about how your pain is going? It's me on the nose. The other thing I wondered is when do you take Dilaudid? And what for if you don't mind? When I have surgery on this arm, I know they will use Dilaudid as I am allergic to Morphine and it seems that's what they give me if say, I get a headache that just won't go away. I'm afraid that if they continue to up doses of meds on me that I'll have gotten such a tolerance that nothing else will work. What do you think or know from experience? Oh and I take Zanaflex and I'm maxed out on how high a dose I can take. Have you ever taken it? It's great, but it doesn't last long enough. Is Soma better do you think? I'm just curious and kind of frightened. Thanks for writing, letting me know that you are there! Thank you!
Cat
Posted 2/25/2010 12:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Catz...

I know what you mean :) "Sharing" illnesses isn't the fun kind of sharing you want to do...but, as you said, it's helps to know someone else can relate. I'm really open about all of my health stuff...so feel free to ask away :)

--I used to be in constant, intense pain. Before most of my health stuff started, it was migraines. Once I got ill, I added in back problems, widespread muscle pain, severe carpal tunnel syndrome, nerve issues... hmmm, I think that's it in terms of pain... For a couple of years, it consumed me -- the pain and trying to stop the pain. YES, I was at the end of the pain scale, it was pretty bad. I was put on every pain medications on the market, at every various dose, etc. I tried injections, blocks, etc. I went to a chiropractor and a massage therapist (plus a therapist, to try to deal w/ the emotional end of it). Finally, after much research, I decided to get a pain pump put it... That was Sept, 2008. Went in for the trial... and ended up w/ a 30 day stay with meningitis (and no pain pump, obviously). My life is anything but uncomplicated!! lol

--Fast forward a bit... I decided to work hard on my other medical issues... That combined with really finding the "right" drug combination for me leads me to where I'm at today. I think treating my medical issues helped my body a great deal. I now average about a 7 throughout the day. I have moments where I am pushing a 9 or so...but I can usually bring it back down with my breakthrough meds (Dilaudid and Actiq). So, it's a mixed thing. I'm so happy to be where I am from where I was (delirious in pain); but I would love for the day to come where I am below, say, a "5" or whatever.

--You mentioned about "tolerance" - yes, that's my MAIN scare. The thing is, I'm 36 years old... so, assuming my issues continue, I know my tolerance to oral meds will grow, too. I'm already on a really high amount of narcotics (because of an insane tolerance to begin with) - and it is "just" holding me pain-wise. So, I don't know what the future holds. I might have to consider the pain pump again in the future (side note: I know several here have had great success w/ the pump; I'm not knocking that, just my crazy system!).

--You asked about meds... I take Dilaudid as a breakthrough medicine - I can take up to 3 8mg tablets a day. To be honest, I'm going to change that at my next appointment, because they just don't work for me anymore. But, for some, they work well. They also come in 2 and 4mg tablets. That being said, at least for me, it works different than the IV Dilaudid. The IV Dilaudid still helps w/ my pain; unlike, as I said, the oral stuff.

--I've taken Zanaflex... it did weird things with my blood pressure so I had to get off of it. For me, Soma works well, just for the muscle spasms. But, for some, Soma can have side effects... so I'd say talk w/ your doctor....

Well, I've written a novel!! I tried to break it up as much as possible! At least I can type fast :) Talk to you soon! --Tina
Posted 2/25/2010 1:01 PM (GMT 0)
Catz, don't have anything to add that hasn't been said already but do hope you find a good PM doctor and surgeon soon. I too wasted a year with a doctor that kept treating each symptom until I went to my othopedic surgeon that had done my knee surgeries previously, he said right off when seeing my MRI that I needed fusion surgery. There are alot of quacks out there but I'm sure you'll find the right doctor for you!
Posted 2/25/2010 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
OMG,

What a horrible experience! I can't even imagine what you must be going through in your mind right now. I understand the pain, but the mental stress of a 10 on a daily basis is almost impossible to deal with.

I wish you all the best!
Posted 2/25/2010 2:03 PM (GMT 0)
Again, I have the privilege to say thanks to another person who gets it! Retiredmom, I'll tell you what is going through my mind, pain! Seriously, it's all consuming, every minute of every day and I don't get but maybe and hour on occasion I'll get 3 hours of sleep at night then that's it. I'm waking up hollering out almost every night and they just put me on this Oxycodone 5 mg. Now I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin! My husband keeps saying, "just give it a few days for your body to get used to it." *Scream* I was just like this yesterday when I saw the doctor. My hubby asked her to give me a long term pain relief with a heavy duty pain med for breakthrough. She said she'd try that next. ??? Jeez, I was on Lortab 10/500 for 6 years and she changed it last month knowing I had this tear in my shoulder. I don't know, I'm just a mess this morning. I need some sleep and need to relax, but right! Anyway, that opened the flood gates a little more. I better get them shut again or this will be way longer than it needs to be.
Thanks again,
Cat
Posted 2/25/2010 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
 Catz4,

 I believe I know what you are going threw!! I have seen so many Doctors and Surgeons and had so many test, and basicly never getting the same answer twice!!! I was sent to a High Dollar Surgeon 150 miles from my home, I had a 12:30 appointment, the Surgeon had a unplained surgery that day, at 7:45pm I got to see him, 10 mins later he tells me that there isn't anything wrong with me!!!!!!idea  I have found out that it is real hard to find a doctor that realy cares, most of them want your money and want to spend 15 mins. with you!!

 I know that you are in pain, but I would find another Doctor to review your films and hopefully this Doctor will have the time to check you over and advise you on what to do.

I wish you the best!

ACE

Posted 2/25/2010 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Catz4. How could your doctor not tell you???

Can you get a copy of your MRI report? I've always had my MRIs at a hospital so I call the imaging department and tell them that I would like a copy of the report. They have all been easy for me to get...no problem and I always do this because sometimes doctors don't tell you exactly what is wrong.

That said, this is insane. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I would definitely see more than one surgeon. Sorry if I'm repeating questions that were already asked. Do you have to go to someone that she recommends? If not, I would go about it another way--like getting a friend to give you the name of a good ortho., of maybe ask your primary? I did read the thread, but I am sorry if I missed something.

Ugh. I hope you get rest today and that your pain goes down.

Hugs,

Flower
Posted 2/25/2010 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Catz ~

Unbelievable!!!!! How could any doctor "overlook" such???? I am so sorry you have had to go through all this.....and even more sorry you have been in pain. :( I hope things turn around for you, and soon. Please keep us updated - I've really enjoyed getting to know each of you a bit better!

Although being new to all of you, I already agree with you completely re: "What you guys give me is complete acceptance, validation, guidance and a soft place to fall. How can I say thank you that big?" This sums up my reasoning for joining such a great group!

Huggggssss!
Posted 2/25/2010 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi again Catz,

I wish there were some way to send you a pain free day (or even afternoon), but I haven't found out how to fix my own pain yet......sadly, we are all on this rollercoaster of pain, but it seems like some of us stay on the peak so long that we only have small glimpses of the peace of coming down.

I really do understand the pain that just won't go away and how it feels to cry just because you hurt and then to feel frustrated and hurt because nobody understands. I also understand how it feels for doctors to tell you that you need to relax or calm down, but they don't seem to get that you can relax or calm down because you can't get a break in the pain.

I can only offer support and a virutal ear for frustrations. It helps me greatly to have others to "speak to" about pain who don't judge even when you are having the worst day ever.

All the best!
Posted 2/25/2010 6:59 PM (GMT 0)
Jag, Ace, Flower and IsThereAnEnd, as well as all,
First, thanks again! The outpouring of concern is so important to my sanity right now! I also want to correct something I said that is wrong, she put me on 15mgs of Oxycodone not 5mgs. O.K. now that I cleared that up, I just slept for 45 minutes and though I wish I could sleep a little longer, the pain is calling and I just appreciate what I can get. The general consensus seems to be, "How could she", I really would rather think she overlooked it rather than that she saw it and didn't say anything to me. LOL! You know what is so ironic, I've posted this in earlier posts, but I've got a sister who is a doctor as is her husband and a sister who is a Nurse Practioner. I think my sis that's the NP knows more than the m.d.! I called my NP sis this morning and asked her if she could find a reputable surgeon and she said she would. The reason I asked her is that she has worked as an RN in just about every department at Vanderbilt Medical Center which is a teaching hospital and a good one at that. My drs for diabetes & endocronology as well as my youngest daughter's ENT (she's deaf, but has gained some hearing through an implant at "Vandy") are all there and very good drs. Oh yes, there is so much more in my life than you can even imagine! I'm sure that is the general rule for each one of us though! I'm 51 and have 6 kids, and unlike momto6boys, mine are split 4 girls 2 boys, but we have a 12 year old and 11 year old girls at home. That is a whole new set of stuff, because of the guilt I feel being at this level of pain I really don't do much but stay in bed. Not fair to them. *cry* Anyway, I'm going to find the best dr I can and then find another before I'll allow anyone to cut on me. I read that it is a very painful surgery and that it is also a long recovery time as there is not a lot of blood flow to progress the healing.
Thanks again, over and over. I'll never be able to say thanks enough.
Cat(z4)
Posted 2/25/2010 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
Awe Catz no wonder you have been so miserable, at least you know one of the reasons, right? I do hope your sister can come up with a good dr for you there, I have heard good things about that place. I do know the teaching hospitals have drs that specialize in various surgeries, I hope your sister is looking for someone that specializes in shoulders.

 

Your dr most liklely did overlook the MRI report, today may have been the first time she has seen it. I am not defending her either when I say that. But, patients medical records do end up in other patients charts too. Seen that happen. If the report was not in your chart, she should have seen her notes sending you for it and she should have had someone hopping to find out where the report was at too. So, yes she dropped the ball.

 

I was surprised to read you had been going to this PM place for 3 years. I don't know why I thought it was much less than that. I would still contact my ins and find out what pain mgt programs are covered and get in somewhere else. Otherwise your care is going to be nothing but a comedy of errors. Your PCP or neuro can make the necessary referrals. It is easy to get caught up and think well I will go one more time, and this just keeps happening after each visit. Then, some time down the line things start falling apart, we are not getting the help we need, or the care we need, when that starts happening it is time to move on. Why not check and see if Vanderbilt has a PM program and see if they accept your ins.

 

Depending on the size of the tear sometimes they can get by without doing a rotator cuff repair. Ususally when this is the situation the person is put in a physical rehab program strictly for the shoulder issues.

 

One thing I would ask a surgeon is, if by not having any surgery, will it continue to get worse and can irreversible damage be done by leaving it alone. This is something you need to know. No one can force you to have surgery, but you need good sound medical  advice on the pros & cons.

 

Take care.

Posted 2/25/2010 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cat,

 I have a friend that has had both his done!!! it is very painfull, and the P.T. you have to go threw isn't much fun!! I do believe if you have the surgery and do the P.T. the biggest part of the pain will be gone.

Hang in There!

ACE

Posted 2/26/2010 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
 

 

   Dear Cats4,

 

 

      Good morning*warm huggs* It is so good to hear from you. I do hope you can find a moment or two to rest today. You are very tired and exhausted , I can tell plain as day from your posts that you have been put through a very hard time. I am so very sorry *hugg*

 

      I have little to add, except that I do agree something is terribly wrong with how your doctor treated you shoulder. I am rather dissapointed you wernt told right away. A few of my doctors have been "hiding" things from me and "softing blows" for me, but really all I feel is 1. betrayed and 2. like I lost valuable time and money. Surly you must feel the same *hugg*

 

      I am glad you went to your sister for a referral on good surgeons, knowing that the hospital is a teaching hospital could really be something good! This could really set in motion a path towards less pain. You have been forced to endure through so much, it is time you had some much need relief!

 

     I wont chat away endlessly, but please know you are in our hearts and prayers here. *soft hugg*

 

*hugg*

  dani

Posted 2/26/2010 6:18 PM (GMT 0)
I lay here in bed with tears streaming having so many emotions all at once. Dani, Straydog, and Ace, you are joining in my life with such tender mercy that I can't thank you enough. The pain level is way over the top today and I've experienced a huge heartache within the last 24 hours that my head is reeling, my thoughts are not even making sense. If you don't understand a word of this, please know that I'm trying to push past the physical and emotional pain to reach out. I don't think I can. Just let me say thank you again. Without getting off topic too much, I have as I said, 6 children. My oldest daughter is 34, I have a son who is 31, a son soon to be 30, a daughter 26 and the two young girls, 12 and 11. They are adopted as well as being our grandchildren. They call us Mom and Dad and are only vaguely aware that they were not born of us. They are both disabled. The older one was hit in the head with an infant careseat (any of you who have ever carried one, knows how heavy they are!) when she was 8 months old by her "birth mother". She sustained just enough brain damage to cause her to act about 6 years old. She just learned how to turn on a shower by herself and she will be 13 in May. The younger child, was born with a deformed right ear as well as the ear not having a canal. Then the "birth mother" would not address apparent horrible ear infections to the point that when I got her at 6 months old she was completely deaf. Through many surgeries and an implant called a BAHA or Bone Anchored Hearing Aid, she is able to hear fairly well. Not good by any means. I got the two at ages 6 months and 22 months old. I have such enormous guilt that I am not as present for them as I once was. The older girl just got into very serious trouble, unlike nothing I have ever had to deal with from any of the other children. She knows what she did was wrong, but she doesn't understand that her stay in Junvenile last night was not a sleep over! Now we are in a league all it's own and having never been in trouble with the law, I am quite naive. This child is incredibly talented artistically and plays the flute like a songbird. She stole another childs flute and as the flute was over $500, it is a felony offense. So, instead of planning for surgery, I'll be planning for court. I've had so much pent up inside of me with no one to tell it all too except of course my husband. As many of you have experienced I'm sure, emotional turmoil really gets the body to aching. I'm beyond what I can tolerate and type. So, thank you for those of you who may read this and maybe some of you have been through trouble with the police or had someone you know go through it. This is my first time. Anything you could tell me that would help, I am so open too. I just hope my condition isn't somehow to blame and it sure feels like it is. Oh my, I just don't know what to do. Thanks again,
Cat(z4)
Posted 2/26/2010 6:34 PM (GMT 0)
catz,

I am so sorry to hear of the stress in your life.I dont really have advice on what to do, but wanted you to know I am here if you need to talk. I can evenn go to chat if you need it.

please try too take care of yourself the best you can.

hugs,
melissa
Posted 2/26/2010 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Awe Catz you gotta stop beating yourself up first and foremost. Your medical condition has nothing to do with what happened. If I read your post correctly, this child has the mentality of a 6 yr old. Regardless of her age or limitations she is just a kid. Sure kids know they are not suppose to take things that belong to others, but do you really believe they don't tempt fate for whatever reason? That is part of being a kid honey, you have kids, surely you must know this. There is absolutely no telling why she took the flute. She could have been just curious about it, maybe even mad at the person it belonged to, or a jillion reasons. The point is how you handle it from here on out is what kind of an impact that you make on her.

 

I am in no way dismissing what she did but you really need to get your emotions reined in here and get some composure going. She will sense this emotional state of yours and that may not be a good thing. She is not a criminal, she is a kid. Oh, how I wish I could just give you a big ole hug and a shoulder to cry on and say let er rip and get all of this turmoil out of you.

 

God bless you and your husband for being the "special people" that you are for taking on the responsibility of these two little ones. Catz there are no perfect kids honey, no matter how hard we try and do the very best we can, they are not perfect. Kids are kids, this is not a malicious little girl. Please, please stop beating yourself up over this, this is not your fault.

 

Let us know if there is anything we can do to help you and your family through this. You will get through it.

Posted 2/27/2010 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
O.K., I made a few posts other places and read about other people and Straydog, I finally can come back here, to facing the guilt. Mikel said something on another post that really hit me, "making peace with the present moment". My little girl has had problems for a long time. Even before I got sick. I've watched after her and tried to help her understand right from wrong which she does, but the consequences trip her up every time. It's not her fault, and dang it, it's not mine either. She was not under my roof, nor was I responsible for her day to day care when she was injured. Getting it across to her that what you sow, that will you also reap is the battle. My bedroom is in direct sight of her bedroom door and still she is able to get out of there and go do all manner of things without me knowing! So, that tells me she is aware of right and wrong. YOU said it all!! YOU made me look at things in a different sight. You are so right and I thank you. I am not helping her one bit by beating myself up nor am I helping anyone else. I really had to face this one straight on. I've always liked to just pull the bandaid off, no slipping it here and there, just rip! You probably know all about what I'm going to tell you, but ?? When my bowels ruptured, (six inches removed at the rectum and a colostomy which was taken down in March '06) they placed a tube with a reservoir bulb at the end of it called a Jackson Pratt, for draining inside my abdomen. It was held by one stitch. When they were preparing me to finally(!) leave the hospital, the nurse came in and said she was going to pull it out. O.K., fine, cut the stitch (she did and cut me too!) and there is just that little tube to pull from inside, no biggie. Boy was I wrong! The deal is, on the end of the tube that is inside your body is a good sized, triangular thing! She started pulling and it hit that triangle and out of just reaction, I grabbed her arm and she stopped! I moved my hand, held onto the bars and screamed, "GO, GO, GO!!!" She looked at me and I screamed, "PULL, PULL, PULL!!" She did and it came out just fine. My point being, I like to face things and go forward and I haven't been doing that with all this stuff! This is a revelation to me and though I may have to be reminded every day in some small way, I get it! I really think I have finally gotten it! Thank you!! I mean really, really THANK YOU! (that's not screaming, it's pouring joy from my heart!) Thank all of you! I don't know how I've made it up to this point without you guys! My goodness, I feel blessed!
Cat(z4)
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