Awe Catz no wonder you have been so miserable, at least you know one of the reasons, right? I do hope your sister can come up with a good dr for you there, I have heard good things about that place. I do know the teaching hospitals have drs that specialize in various surgeries, I hope your sister is looking for someone that specializes in shoulders.
Your dr most liklely did overlook the MRI report, today may have been the first time she has seen it. I am not defending her either when I say that. But, patients medical records do end up in other patients charts too. Seen that happen. If the report was not in your chart, she should have seen her notes sending you for it and she should have had someone hopping to find out where the report was at too. So, yes she dropped the ball.
I was surprised to read you had been going to this PM place for 3 years. I don't know why I thought it was much less than that. I would still contact my ins and find out what pain mgt programs are covered and get in somewhere else. Otherwise your care is going to be nothing but a comedy of errors. Your PCP or neuro can make the necessary referrals. It is easy to get caught up and think well I will go one more time, and this just keeps happening after each visit. Then, some time down the line things start falling apart, we are not getting the help we need, or the care we need, when that starts happening it is time to move on. Why not check and see if Vanderbilt has a PM program and see if they accept your ins.
Depending on the size of the tear sometimes they can get by without doing a rotator cuff repair. Ususally when this is the situation the person is put in a physical rehab program strictly for the shoulder issues.
One thing I would ask a surgeon is, if by not having any surgery, will it continue to get worse and can irreversible damage be done by leaving it alone. This is something you need to know. No one can force you to have surgery, but you need good sound medical advice on the pros & cons.
Take care.