Rejected again!!!

Nurse2,
You touched on something that I don't talk about much, but I felt like the words you wrote reflected thoughts I've had in my head more often than I care to admit.

I have a photo of myself a year before I took the fall that changed my life. My face still has some age-appropriate lines, and I never wore much make up anyway. But my eyes were bright and I had a great smile, as the photo was with one of my cousins who I love dearly. I was happy. And my face was relaxed. I have that picture in my bedroom, and when I compare it to what I see in the mirror, and pictures taken more recently, I just want to cry. I look tired. I look - and I FEEL, old. At least 20 years older than I am. And then there's those extra 20 plus pounds that just won't come off (not that I can try, as I can't exercise like most of us can't).

Anyway, I "hear" you.

((((((((((Nurse2))))))))))

PaLady

DEAREST nurse2 , My god it is really painful to read so many stories of people suffering and insurance companies allowing it to happen because of indifference or money or stupidity ,it hurts me greatly to hear these true life declarations about how in the richest country in the world ,we send billions to Iraq and our people here are suffering , God, a few less stealth bombers please and help those who need it so badly , it makes me so mad . Please keep fighting nurse2 and may good fortune smile on you , I pray it does and everything works out for all of us .

Oh, thank you, thank you for responding to my post. It is so good to know that I am not alone. I don't mean that I'm glad that you feel the same way it's just that someone spoke up and said that they have the same thoughts I do. Not only do we feel alone in our pain sometimes but then to feel even worse about our self image.....both of which we never asked for or can we do anything about. I have a friend (we have been friends since jr. high school) that I hadn't seen for a year. He lives in Florida and my husband and I live in Ohio. (We are very close friends, have vacationed together many times and call each other frequently. We tease each other like we are brother and sister.) Since his last visit I had been on so many steroids it wasn't funny and I had gained 40lbs. I was having a lot of issues with edema too so you can imagine how my body had changed. All evening long he kept telling my husband that I should hide the chocolate's from me because my love of them were "beginning to show". Now, as I said we teased each other a lot but this time it was not so funny and I didn't say anything to stop him so he really didn't know how much it bothered me. I'm 5'2" and then weighed 180lbs. and my husband is 6'4" and weighs 182lbs. so imagine how low my self esteam was. My friend would never knowingly hurt my feelings and I should have said something but I just let it go because we were only going to get to see him the one night. Anyway for the next few weeks everytime I went out in public I felt like this whale on land. Let's face it...everyone on this site has had their body betray them and I'm so thankful that I stumbled onto this wonderful, caring group of people who I can talk to about anything and be understood. Many people are willing to listen but they really have no concept of how we really feel. I'm so thankful for each of you and I pray that each of us have a better day than yesterday!

Nurse2,

I've spent the last 10 minutes or so reading through this thread... It's brought tears to my eyes...because I can identify with so much of what you (and others) wrote. The self image... the weight gain because of steroids/edema/just illness... Seeing someone you haven't seen in a long while... All of it.

Thanks for putting your thoughts into words... because so many of us can really identify with so much of what you wrote!!

I'm so sorry that you were denied SSDI again... that is beyond frustrating! I'm glad you have an attorney to help you...

Take good care, Tina