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Posted 4/12/2010 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
As I continue my trek of being unemployed and filling the new role as house husband, I have had time to reflect on many things. One that has come up for several reasons is dealing with trust issues. We all want to trust someone or many someones. We want to trust or drs, pharamasists and other health care professionals. We also want to trust our family, friends and even our supportive peers on this forum. Many of us have posted when we felt let down by those we thought we there to help us. I know that dealing with CP and its life effects can limit our circle of support and then the issue of trust even becomes more important. A quick example.

Last Wednesday I called my phamacy to let them know I had 2 scripts that were to be filled on 4/10/10 which was saturday. I mentioned that due to problems with my WC company, I wanted to make sure it was taken care of before Saturday as there would be little chance to get something approved on the weekend. They assured me they would make sure everything was ready. I had to go to the phamacy on Friday with my wife as she needed to get a script filled. I reminded them that I was picking up my 2 scripts the next day and they checked and made sure they had the pills to fill my scripts. Then they assured me I would be able to pick them up Sat. morning. I went in yesterday morning and was told they could not fill my scripts as they were short pain meds. They called another phamacy 15 miles away and they had the meds but could not get through to my WC company to get it approved. So the pharamasist thought I was over reacting and acting like a drug addict to them as I tried to explain that there is a reason my dr. has me on a high dosage right now. The phamasist looked at me and said they would be able to fill the script next Wed. and that it would only be 3 or 4 days without the meds and that it should be no big deal.

I calmly left, wanting to jump over the counter and rip the guy up. I came home and wrote a very detailed letter to the phamacy chain office and decided that this too shall pass. My wife was so proud of me for being calm and not blowing up. Now I don't feel that I can trust the phamacy.

Every time things like this happen it hurts us as we are put in the position of trusting others for help, assistance and support. I found a quote on trust I like: Trust is like a vase, when it is broken it can be fixed but it will never be the same. This issue with the phamacy is in one way minor but the issue of trust is so big for us as we battle life with CP. Just a thought for the day.

Post Edited (fatherjohn) : 4/11/2010 6:27:09 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/12/2010 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
I sometimes worry that my medication will not be at the pharmacy. I'm frustrated reading this! Are you out of medication now for a few days? I hope that the letter is effective. It's sad that you were treated that way, and I am very sorry that this happened to you.

Thinking of you,

Flower
Posted 4/12/2010 12:54 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear of the situation with your pharmacy..very proud of you for handling it in such an adult way! Can't say I would be as calm...

It took me awhile in my first years of chronic pain to find a wonderful pharmacy and learned that they are such an important part of my PM team...I would suggest finding a new pharmacy and getting to quickly know the head pharmacist and staff...I go in each time and ask them about their family...their weekend, kids, etc...make small talk...not to be superficial or fake..I truly do try to be nice...and in return...they know me as well and if any problems arise...or when I call ahead for medication for the next day...they will go the extra mile for me...

Again...I hope that you have extra medicine for the next days until you can find another place to go..they certainly don't deserve your business!!!
Posted 4/12/2010 2:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hey FJ Old Boy!!!
It's great to see you posting here again, your knowlege, experiance and kindness was sure missed around here.
Funny that you brought up this subject because as many of my dear friends and fam's can tell you, I've pretty much stopped posting here a couple weeks ago. I still read alot of posts but only write when someone very special needs a hug or just to know I'm still around and praying for them!
Trust is a special thing which when broken is hard to fix. I know I can trust you John and I hope you know that you can trust me, so when are you coming down to sunny Florida to catch a bunch of fish w/ me? To CP'ers in a boat>> Yip~EE!!! It's getting warmer every day and the fish are biting better as it warms so now that you're not working, Come on down!!!
God Bless You dear friend!
Your Brother,
Pete
Posted 4/12/2010 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
Father excellant post, and many of us are glad to see you here again!

Pete! Give me a Hug! :)

SE
Posted 4/12/2010 2:28 AM (GMT 0)
Flower and Snowbunny, I wish I had extra meds at this time but I am on a very strict regiment with my PCP. Since my only other option is to drive 1300 miles for a dr appointment I agreed to do everything my PCP asked me to do. My wife even holds me accountable. I am trying to climb back out of a deep hole and with my options limited, I am being very good.

Yes Pete, the issue with trust is big. Like with the meds, I trust my dr and he trusts me. My WC company switched me from my local phamacy to to mail order phamacy. After they messed up 3 times I cancelled them and went back to the local phamacy. I thought I had a great relationship with them but just like that the trust factor goes out the window. Like you said, you trust people and when that is broken it is hard to fix. The issue with the phamacy is as simple as going to a new one. But, when the trust issue reaches to those we lean on for support it is hard to fix. I believe the more we lean on or trust someone, the deeper it hurts. I feel the need to fish. My son is due back home in a week. He called me this morning at 1:00 am and was glad to out of Iraq and back on US soil. After he gets home I will look at heading down to see you.

Posted 4/12/2010 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Father John

 

We haven't met yet.  I'm Loretta.  It's good to see you back.  I'm sorry you had that bad experience at your pharmacy.  I just had a problem with mine today.  I hope you can get it straightened out in the next day or two.  It's hard being without our pain meds.  I wish you good luck.

 

hugs

Loretta

Posted 4/12/2010 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
Greetings Loretta and belated welcome. After many years of dealing with CP, I am learning that trying times are more often than we expect or want. Blessings! 
Posted 4/12/2010 4:12 AM (GMT 0)
 

 

   Dear Father John,

 

     Oh how I have missed you! *warm huggs*

 

     Trust *sigh* I need to gather my thoughts a bit... There is a new girl at our pharmacy, a social aquaintance and now "ex" friend that come to mind.. But, I will stick with the new "in training pharmacy tech".  She caused or tried to case issues today. But, to talk about it in context I need back up a few years..

 

     Once apon a time before marriage, children and chronic pain... I had my birthcontrol pills filled at a Pharmacy close by. The pharmacist, from that point on, took care of everything from anti biotics, acne treatments, and even cough medicine.

 

      Fast forward 10 years, and now there is a new girl at the pharmacy that has huge problems with the pharmacist giving me small quantities of medicine in (partial fills) while meds are shipped in or paperwork updated.. one time new computer system was being implemented (different formatt). ... The point is, there is human error along the way, that I have no control over. I cannot go without many of the medicines just because someone dropped the ball and is having a hard time keeping up with her new duties as pharmacy tech in training.... Well, I dont mind a pill holiday but the doctors DO mind and pharmacist (now head pharmacist after 10yrs) seems to agree. Unfortuantly this young lady, like so many others, isnt doing anything we don't already see with startling regularity in our lives socially, casually, or professionally....

 

      I dont "dislike" people. But, there are some people that require us to combat them with as much positive feed back as possible. Shes certianly one of them. I don't trust her for one moment at this point. And until she proves that her future behaviour has changed consistanly from her past behaviour, I will continue to avoid her where possible and to combat her constant (frankly rather heavy) negativity with as much positive reinforcment as my little body can muster. This is how I feel about ALL people who break the bond of trust or go out of their way to be negative and combative.

 

     I can't imagine why a fellow human being would go out of their way to bring any negativity in their lives knowingly. My only guess is that, decit, lies, and negativity is garnering them some sort of "pleasure response". It is some how granting people, like those we have mentioned so far, a "pay off" or "emotional high".

 

     As awfull as it sounds, everytime I run across one I have to fight off the urge to hugg them and ask, "Okay, now what is REALLY going on? What are you TRULY hurting from.".

 

      *sigh* So that my two cents on trust being broken by all the people in my life, not just the porfessionals who make up the network of health care professionals we depend on.

 

      What fantastic news that your son if finally on his way home. I am sure you miss him terribly. I know you are very proud!!!!!

 

     I wish I could pack up my tackle and rods when I go to florida...but, my husband's uncle is an avid fisherman and I hope I can talk him to a quick sneak away! Ive never been fishing outside of our high altitude lakes here in NM.

 

      *hugg*

         dani

    

Posted 4/12/2010 10:37 AM (GMT 0)
Oh FJ! It is so good to hear from you!!! I have missed you soooo much!!! I know what you mean by trust issues. I haven't trusted my mom, sister or brother in so many years that I have totally lied to them. I find its easier then listening to them telling me how stupid I was to get the first fusion anyway. So I tell them I am fine and leave it at that. But here recently my sister has been having problems with her back and now has to undergo a laminectomy (I can't help but smile a little and that makes me feel bad....real bad). She tells me "I know how you feel sis." Arg!! I feel so bad!!!

Okay fastforward, about your pharmacy....I too have problems the same as you with my pharmacy. I would hand them a script for 120 Kadian and oh gee by the time it was ready (two days later) they didn't have enough to do a total fill. Then I have to argue with my PM that I need an early refill and the pharmacy didn't call them or send a sheet saying that they didn't have enough to fill!

Its hard to mend those bonds when this happens. Its great to hear from ya so I'll stop writing now.

hugs

Scarred
Posted 4/12/2010 12:32 PM (GMT 0)

Hi FJ,

So good to see your post....sorry you have encountered another bump in the road.....I am so proud of how you handled this situation.

I have been going to Sam's Club Pharmacy for 10 years, the regular Pharmacist and Tech have become my friends over the years.   2 months ago I went in on a Saturday with my written script and dropped it off to pick up on Monday, the other Pharmacist was there.   On Monday I went in to pick it up, my regular Pharmacist said the total due was $7.10, I said wow did the price go down?  He said no, you only have 10 pills....both he and I looked at each other and I didn't even have to say anything, he pulled the script and the other Pharmacist had looked at the strength and dispensed 10 pills of the 10 mg.  instead of the #120 that was Rx'd.  After reading all the posts here, I'm thankful I avoided what probably would have been a scene had the other Pharmacist been there when I went to pick up his mistake.

Good to see you back ((((((((((((((((((((FJ))))))))))))))

XXOO
Patti

Posted 4/12/2010 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning Father John! I took the time to reread your post this morning, and I have run into this problem with the Pharmacy as well, with them not having enough meds on hand. I have also run into the problem of my PCD being out of the office for a few days, and the nurse could not get an approval for the refill.

I discussed this with my DR, and please bare in mind, we have a very good trusting relationship. He then wrote me a script with a slightly lesser dose, so that I could get them filled right away, even though it was for the same kind of med. This was my back up, so that when things went wrong at the pharmacy or when he was out of the office, I would have enough to get me by until the problem could be taken care of.

Maybe this might work for you, and is just a suggestion. I have even offered to bring in the extras to show my Dr that I still have them on hand. There was a time when I turned in pain meds that did not work on me at all, and the nurse told me that no one ever does that, but it did build up a good trust between me and my Dr.

I hope this helps, and I can tell you that many here are very glad to see your return to the forum here. You have a good thought process, and one that I enjoy reading.

Oh and, that friend of yours....the one we call Pete!....well He has been skipping a jig ever since you have been back! I know that you both have a trust that is well seated, and that my friend, is a very good feeling to have. You both are lucky!

SE
Posted 4/13/2010 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
Fatherjohn,

I love how you always bring up the most thought provoking topics. I agree very much with your views on trust (and I love that quote you found). Sometimes I run into problems because I trust people too much, it's just in my nature to trust people, especially medical professionals.

I actually just had a similar situation as you. This morning I was supposed to have an appointment with my ophthalmologist (he is located 45 min from my house & 1.5 hrs away from school). I get there at 9:00 am only to find out that they had canceled my appointment because my doctor was in surgery. I understand that emergency surgeries come up on occasions, but this wasn't one of those occasions. Apparently the office reschedule his appointments today the week before, but NO ONE bothered to call me to notify me that my appointment was canceled! They claim that they called and left a message, but I know for a fact that I received no phone call/message on either my home phone (I was actually home, not at school on the day in which they "called") or my cell phone. I was very angry because I had rearranged things in my schedule ahead of time to make this appointment & this whole mess cause my to miss class for nothing!! You trust that these people are going to do their jobs. But now because someone screwed up, it not only ruined my day today, but will ruin another day again in two weeks, as that is when my appointment was rescheduled (and I really can't afford to miss classes again so soon before exams/the end of the semester.

This is just one of the many reasons why I like animals so much better than people.

Hopefully my post makes sense. I'm having an especially hard time reading/seeing with my eye today & am thoroughly sleep-deprived on top of it.

Skeye
Posted 4/13/2010 4:24 AM (GMT 0)
Skeye, it is very difficult to walk in to an office and not be upset when people don't give or show respect or common curtesy. Some people think that their lives are more important than everyone elses and don't mind making it a point to tell you so. Good luck and blessings as you draw closer to the end of this academic journey and the up coming SCS trial.  

Dani, yes it is a struggle to treat others with possitive emotions when they are filled with negitivity. But sometimes it takes someone who can rise above the negativity to reach those drowning in the depths of it. It is hard to shed the need we feel to take the time to understand that their needs might even be greater, they just don't have the skills to use self-control and face iit in an acceptable way.

Patti, good to hear from you. I have learned that suggesting to some people that they have made a mistake is recieved with a truckload of pride. It is odd that there are people who think making a mistake is not possible. I find it easy to deal with someone who owns up to a mistake and then wants to know how they can make things right and maybe even thank you for bringing it to their attention.

SE, I have not always taken my meds as prescribed, taking less than what I was to take. That what got me into trouble this last time as I tried to maintain my job which meant not taking any pain meds all day and then not being able to get caught up or ahead of the pain. It lead to a crash. Since I can't get into a PMS my PCP has agreed to manage my pain but he said that even if they fired me for taking my meds, I still had to take them. He does not question that I would over take a med just the opposite. Then, as I was being good, the phamacy messes up and life goes on. Blessings. 

Posted 4/13/2010 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Father John for the welcome.  Blessings to you

 

hugs

Loretta

Posted 4/13/2010 8:19 AM (GMT 0)
FJ I sure do hate reading what happened with the pharmacy. I can't help but wonder at times where these people's brains are at. I have been pretty lucky with my pharmacy, at least if I walk in with my script if they don't have the medication they call around to the other stores or even will call one of the other chains & ask if they have it. I know this is not an option for you with the out of state comp situation. I know what a strain it must be with the job situation, however, I hope that during this time you are getting that much needed rest your body needs. I remember oh so well the nights you were on here in the wee hours after working 20 some hours a day, with no sleep and no pain meds until you came home to stay permanently for the night. Your pain was so great there was no scale that could measure the pain level you were at. The odds of medication touching that pain was slim to none. Yes,I do remember those nights of yours all too well. You were in pain & I don't sleep at night. I think when a person's pain level gets as your did, because of the lack of medication, there is no the of catching up with the pain in a 24 hour period. I am very happy to read you are doing as you are and can for once enjoy some quality life with your family. I know the new boss has a strict set of rules but she has your best interest at heart. It is good that you have a PCP with some compassion and understanding in your corner. Does the rep ever meet you at his office to fine tune your machine or do you have it pretty much maxed out?

I have been trying to do yearly spring yard work that I have no business doing but thats life. I work one afternoon or morning and spend the next two days in bed. Then I get up and head out the door to tackle a little more. I keep telling myself juat a little bit more to go, sound familiar, lol. Take care and so good to hear from you.
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