Is anyone here alone, as in really alone and how do you cope??

 

Hi all,

To refresh your memory, I live in the province of Quebec and am french speaking. I have 3 disck herniations so lots of back pain and lately, I have been experiencing tmj's symptoms, like stiff neck, facial, jaw pain and finally lots of vertigo bouts.

First and foremost, I have to ask to everyone here his/her forgiveness for I have not posted in a long time although I read most posts everyday. I feel like a vulture (lol) feeding off of your stories and never contribute. But here's I'm hoping this is going to change through breaking the ice again today. I guess, to be truthful,  i find it hard to share with people with whom I can't talk to or see, hug. Most of you I don't even know the gender, the real name or even the age. It's hard to connect that way for me and get enough to feel better. Please, don't get me wrong, this is truly great and I know it's better than nothing and that's the reason I keep on trying. Just sharing these feelings...

 But what I really want to talk about today is this: It seems to me that most people on this site is someone's husband or wife. In their affliction, they are blessed:  Someone cares about them and support them in their predicament. So my question is the following,  is anyone here like me, really alone, in their apts, no phone calls, no visitors, no husband or wife or even relative to worry about them, alone with their pain and having as sole companion the Tv or the radio and please tell me ('cause by God I don't know how he heck I'm holding out!) how do you cope in your loneliness aside from writing on here?? Or am I the only one?

Would mean a lot to me to know that I'm not...

Thank you in advance for your replies.

Dany

 

Hi Dany,

I just wanted to take a minute to say Hello to you.

I do not share your exact situation, but we share a common bond here and people do really care about you here.

I know you mentioned that you read here but don't post much and I know I would love to talk to you more. Yes, it's virtual and I don't give out specific information to identify myself, but that allows me to be more open about my own life. I'm positive that many of us here would like to be a part of yours.

RM

Dany your post touched me in many ways. For years I was someone's Wife,mother,sister,etc. but I was always alone in my pain no matter the number around me. I however now have raised my kids and my husband has long since been gone,I might add he was gone in a sense the 1st DX of CP but he didnt physically leave for years after. I spend a great deal of my time as you alone and like I you I use to think these forums were just not going to do the trick,how wrong I was.

I have spent the better part of the last 11 years with CP and as the folks in my life moved on into their own lives doing things I could no longer do I found myself turning more to the cyberworld and have met and retained a world like no other of friends. Dont ever think that in the dark of night when pain is all you can see that signing on here or elsewhere cant find you a angel of mercy believe me it can and has,those cyber hugs sent by many or one can be just as rewarding and just as comforting as arms that hold you but dont "feel" you Dany.

PPL in these forums can and do read you like a book at times,they know what to say when to say and when not to say anything at all,they relate to your pain and your lonliness as no other. I have had many a night or day turned around simply by signing on. I have wept tears of relief,have felt joy for others triumps,as well as shared and made memories with folks I have known only in cyberspace for years longafter my "real life" friends have moved on.

You are never alone as long as your connection is working!

I come and go in this place and others as I need to. I take from it and try to give something when I can. Everyone may not always share the same views or have the same advice and each of us here come from many different walks of life but here we have no prejudices,there are no racial or political lines to blur we are all connected simply by the pain we have and will endure,that common thread,knowledge and the ability to share where we have walked,at times crawled,failed and succeeded.

I look forward to "getting to know you" and maybe one night when that monster is all I can see you will be here when I come running.

Hey Dany, For a time I was very alone by choice but I was mobile could go out and do what I wanted and come home to my non-existence .Then my hip gave out and I got cellulitus in my leg and couldn't walk well and was in pain all the time , I am still waiting for my cellulitus to clear up and can.t have surgery until it does . So I was trapped in my apt couldn't go to the store even  ,my closest relative being my brother who lives a half hour away but works .I had to either do for myself or go crazy or starve .So I used this computer firstly to get help , I have a home attendant that comes 4 times a week , shops , cleans etc for me . I started seeing a pain therapist to help me handle the situation emotionally .I started re -taking a class in vet asst I had started but never finshed .I'm looking now for a painting class , I have met three ex-girlfriends on facebook and dated one , e-mail another who is married we have a great friendship and life seems a lot better . The point being whethr you have pain or not living life is much more fullfilling then hiding from it like I was .Idon't know if you are , but I know you can use that computer to interact with people and take a class at home , I've made several very close friendships with people here at HealingWell and I love them like sisters or brothers .I just reached out and there were great giving folks here who reached back .Perhaps you can try some of these things , especially the pain therapist , as a professional they can guide you thru this . Good luck friend .  Mikel  P.S. In addition I now live a healthy life , I juice veggies and fruit everyday , I take vitamins and excersise as I can , I feel a lot better ! Try it !