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Crazy lady with mood swings....Watch OUT everyone!

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Posted 11/4/2010 9:58 PM (GMT 0)
These insane and stupid mood swings were supposed to disappear when surgical menopause was over.....For Pete's sake it has been a year.....This can end any day now! smhair

I hate this new me, full of pain and a completely different person than I was before this started. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster blindfolded. I can never tell what day will be a bad day, unless I over do it and cause one. I go from accepting this life of limitations to bawlling like a broken woman. I lose my temper over the most ridiculous things, and end up feeling more of a burden and horrible mother/wife because of it.

I cry at Hallmark card commercials, sob like a baby over too-dark haircolor, and spend hours alone in my house everyday wishing I could be useful. Then I get up and realize why I am useless. Every movement hurts. Each day I have to prioritize what to do based on how my body feels, and decide all the time how desperate I am for relief based on what medication I have. Do I take the one that really works but causes me to sleep the day and night away? Or the one that works well up til the vomiting starts? Should I use my breakthrough meds or not? Then the fears come of the day when my doctors won't prescribe anything anymore. If that day comes I don't know what we will do.

Sorry for venting. I just feel like a bum sitting home all day crocheting or reading. This cold weather is crippling me, and I know I have only a fraction of what others have. My issues seem so petty compared to others. Oh yay! Another thing to feel bad about shakehead

Posted 11/4/2010 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
((((((((((((((((((((gentle hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))
Shoot, woman! I've felt like that for years and I ain't menopausal. Just the old thyroid pitching fits. Some days I'd love to be able to sit all day and crochet, paint, or read.
I'm sorry your pain meds mess with you.
Posted 11/5/2010 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Are you not on any HRT? If you are not wanting to go the rx route there are many things OTC that will help with the menopause symptoms. Many times drs will say oh I left your ovaries in so you will not need to take anything. My dr did that to me and for one stinking year all I wanted to do was either hurt someone or blow up, lol. It was just awful all the mess I went thru, hot flashes that were more like hot waves. My dear old PCP was mortified that my dr had not put me on anything, he claimed many times the ovaries will go into shock by the surgery itself and will stop working or barely work. Well, he put me on shots back then and let me tell you the man knew what he was talking about. My husband was the first one to let me know about the change because many times I scared him, lol.

If you want to know some things to try that are inexpensive let me know.
Posted 11/5/2010 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hey MM,

I thought I had already posted a response to you, but I see it's gone....probably a computer glitch.

Anyway, I'm sorry that you are having to go through so much with this right now. All of my family (females of course) have to stay on some type of HR or we become monsters and crying slobs. If we so much as mess up on the pill dose, you can really tell.

Unless you have a special reason why you don't feel safe or comfortable taking hormones, I'd highly recommend a good GYN to do some hormone tests and go from there. There is no reason to live in agony from hormones when you can have relief. Those who don't believe it is agony should give it a try for a while....It's not CP, but it IS agony.
Posted 11/6/2010 12:53 AM (GMT 0)
 

     Dear Mindy,

 

      I hate to say it but I often feel the same way regarding each day. I know I did my very best to make my household as easy to manage as possible, but at the same time it is still a struggle to do such basic tasks.

 

     You know, with everything going on in the US and doctors pulling the rug out from under patients for any number of reasons who could blame you for being nervous about medication refills? If we were all honest about it, I bet there isn't a single one of us who hasnt felt the same at some point. smhair   Myself included.

 

     BTW the new one about the grandmother, mother and daughter about osteoporosis turns me to mush every darn time. cry   Follow it up with the one about the "text while driving" warning commercials and I am a mess! My husband laughs at me often saying "that is why I love you" so I will tell you the same. "its just one of the many reasons why we all care for you so much! You care about everything and everyone, even a silly commercial!"

 

     On a more serious note try to not be so hard on yourself. You are doing your very best in light of everything that has happened to you. So, take a deep breath and remember you are doing the best you can.

 

*warm hugg*
       dani

Posted 12/3/2010 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi. I am new here just today and I was reading posts and found yours. I feel your pain very vividly. Today was one of those days that I could not even remember why I want to live through this. I am turning 30 in a few days and had my hysterectomy 2yrs ago. Almost to the day of my 2yr anniversary of the surgery I had another surgery this year and am still trying to recover from what was the least invasive surgery that I have ever had and it was my 8th. I have been in horrible pain my whole life with only a few months here or there where I felt almost normal. I have fought my whole life to have what simple things I have and I am in danger of losing it all if I cannot figure out how to function on a daily basis. I have committed my life to helping others and do not think that what I ask of life is to much but even that does not seem to be accessable to me. I have a husband who is the most wonderful man on earth but I feel like a failure of a wife. I have terrible mood swings, no sex drive, need taken care of like a child on some days, and can give him no children. I question my existance very often but then I look into his eyes and know what I am here for. If you can find one person whos eyes reflect back to you what purpose you truely serve then your life is worth living no matter what you can or cannot do. There must be some purpose we are here for so find it and live for it. What you apply your love to will be your life. I must remind myself often that maybe, just maybe, I am faced with these limitations to focus my attentions on things I would have otherwise neglected. I am faced with the burdon of asking for help to teach me to be humble and open up to those I love. I am faced with the burdon of not knowing how long of a life I shall have so that I will cherish every moment I have. I am faced with the burdon of being childless so that I would open my heart and my home to other peoples children that need another loving person in their life. These things are not always easy to see and especially when living in a day like today has been, and like days you have had and will have, serve some purpose we just have to open our hearts to it. Thank you for opening in up for others like me who are faced with the same pain. May we always reach out and help eachother so that we find our purpose and our strength to get through it. If you would ever like to talk please send me a message it is not easy to find another that shares your pain and it helps to hear you are not the only one. I hope that you find your purpose and strength!
Posted 12/3/2010 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
Undetermined Dimension,

I would like to welcome you to our family.....sounds like you came to the right place! I always have mixed feelings when new people come here! I am very sad that another person is suffering....but very happy that they found our forum!!! You will find a lot of amazing people here...that truly understand and care about you! I would recommend that you start a new post to introduce yourself.....since this is an older post (11/4) others may not look at it again!

You seem like a pretty amazing person yourself and we would all like to get to know you!! So please do an introductory post so others will welcome you too!

Take care of you!
Beckey
Posted 12/3/2010 7:33 AM (GMT 0)
thank you antbuggey!! I look forward to meeting all of you! I've really needed a place like this and it is my darkest hour but i think i have found some light!!

Take care of you too!!
Posted 12/4/2010 5:17 AM (GMT 0)
Montys Mom, It seems like it continues forever and I am not even effected. My wife has been going through mentepause so long that I just accept it as a fact of life that may never change. It is a bit funny ay our house as some nights we aregue which one has to stay in bed while the other one gets to get up. You would think that there would be room for both of us to be up at the same time. My pain and effects have endured 12 years, she is only entering her second year so I certainly give her prfeperence. She has not suffered as long and her actions and reactions are not as predictable as mine. at least neither of us are facing both individualy. I have tried so carefully to be supportive even buying her books that she can read and find out that she is ok. She has a few friends which helps. It gets so funny when its my pains and her emotions and pains. We just simply look ay each other and start with tears and then get to laughing. Mybe we are both bonkers. Blessings.
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