New to the forum...can't take the pain

Hello, I hope this is the place, I just need to vent a little....and maybe get some feedback

I have suffered with Arthritis since the age of 13, at 16 I fell and damaged my lower spine which has progressively turned to chronic pain in my Lower back and for the past 4 years suffered with Siatica down my right leg.........Recently, approx. 6mths, I have had surgery to remove a disc herniation (L5), with not too high of hopes, and a few weeks of physiotherapy I actually started to believe it was going to be better.  Guess I was wrong.

The pain is always there, it had been relieved a little, but now it seems to be coming up in full force again, all I got out of the surgery was about 2months of sporadic releif, most days for that time the pain would be about  5-6, now it is back to it normal 9-10! 

I have been working for about 2months for my sister, nothing major, just helping out at her restaurant/diner....doing what I can to make some money, but for the past 2weeks things are just getting so bad, I can barely walk again, so now I leave her stuck without the extra help, and I'm stuck being broke (which isn't fun when you have to be on meds) 

Went to see my family doctor today, who prescribed some more meds, told me to keep up with the stretches, go back and see her in a month, and we'll see about starting LTD (long term Disability)....which *as she stated* will probably get rejected the first time, so who knows when and if that will ever begin! 

I have been crying pretty much for the past week, due to the pain, being depressed, isolated, feeling like I'll never get better, thinking nobody understands what I am going through, and angry all at the same time... my brain is tired....

Oh and the irony of it all, I have joined a group for Chronic Pain sufferers *sp*, which is held every tuesday for 6 weeks.... today is tuesday, my pain is so bad I can't get out of bed! *sigh*

thanks for listening, kelli 

 

Hi Kelli and welcome to Healing Well's chronic pain forum. I am sorry that you have to be here but glad that you found us. Pain can pretty much isolate us if we let it, that is why it is great to come here and post on how lousy you feel or the need to vent and get things off your chest. That is ok, we all do this, you are not alone.

With you being six month out from surgery you still have the healing process going on inside. It usually take a good year to heal so you are not quite there yet. Don't give up on things improving either, you never know. It sounds like you have been pretty busy during your recuperation time as well, are you by chance over doing? When you have surgery of any kind it is best to baby your body somewhat, it has gone through a pretty traumatic thing having surgery. I am sure standing in a diner on your feet was not one of the better plans to come up with. Standing on concrete after surgery, I am surprised you were able to get out of the bed the next day. I think you really need to sit down and regroup and come up with some plan of some kind that allows your body some rest, I just feel there is an awful lot of pushing going on and perhaps you are over extending yourself a great deal and causing a lot of the problem. Granted you need to be up and moving around but over doing is about one of the worst things a person can do. Your mind may be telling you one thing, but learn to listen to your body.

You spoke of being depressed, chronic pain and depression go hand in hand. Don't let it get out of hand, get your PCP to given you some medication for the depression. Many of us of are medication and it does help smooth out the rough edges.

I think its awesome that you found a CP group to meet with. I wish they offered something like that here in my area, I sure would like to join a group, or at least give it a try.

Anyway. I wanted to pop on and tell you welcome aboard. Please keep us posted on how you are coming along and take care of yourself.

Hi Kelli and welcome to our family! It always causes mixed emotions when someone new comes along! I am so sad to see another person suffering, but I am very happy when they find us!! You will find many caring people here that truly understand how you feel!

I also suffer with back pain, and I don't know why but it has gotten so much worse lately! Mine started 4 years ago and is mostly lumbar spine with sciatica. I was also recently diagnosed with fibro and RA...so I can really relate and I am very sorry that you are suffering like this! Have you spoke to someone about the depression? Depression and Chronic Pain definitely go hand in hand! Try not to isolate....even if it is just talking to people here! I am really bad about this, also! I do agree that you need to try not to over do it because you probably are not completely healed!

Keep us posted and I look forward to getting to know you!

Hugs,
Beckey

I wanted to welcome to the chronic pain forum also Kelli. Take care and not do too much. I agree that you might want to ask your pcp to refer you to a pain management doctor. They're the best to manage chronic pain. I wish low pain days for you. Please keep us updated.

hugs
Loretta