Oh boy..........here we go again. 
They got a new spinal cord injury physiatrist/PM doctor at my PM's office, which is great for me! Finally someone who really understand Cauda Equina Injuries and the left over damage and pain.
I see his partner the first time , he isn't liking the spasticity levels that I have. In fact, he decided that he wants me to have a series of MRI's to check again for MS, or myelopathy because he is convinced that there is SOME reason for the amount of spasticity aside from the CES injuries. Anyway, last month, I see this new SCI/PM doctor and he orders cervical, thoracic and lumbar MRI's. I have suspected for some time that I didn't fuse after the revision. That same old popping, clicking and grinding is /has been still there since a few weeks after the revision.
Anyway, I went yesterday for the lumbar, thoracic and then they did the contrast half of the cervical, rather than have to give me another dose again today for the cervical MRI.....the demeanor changed with the technician from my arrival to my departure. In fact, she spent a lot of time asking me about symptoms, time and space between flares, etc., of course ,this was after the series of films. She even helped me up much more gently than most do....anyway, as we are talking, I mention that I don't expect that the revision fused and she slips and says, the failure to fuse is the least of your problems... 
I asked her to make me a cd of the films and she stalls and says that they will make it today when I come back for the cervical second half without contrast. Okay.......this all leaves me a lot curious about what's on those films that she isn't in any hurry for me to see. 
Anyway, I go back for the cervical part today, and the MRI tech today is different, but also rather gentle in his handling of me, helping me down onto the table and using his hands to support me while I lower myself. Now, don't get me wrong most MRI techs will assist if they have to, but have to being the key word and they tend to not be very gentle, at least around here.
Anyway, we do the cervical, and he is ever so gentle again helping me up, too helpful......anyway, I come home and promptly load the cd into my computer....
Now, I wish that I hadn't......there is at least one cervical herniation, looks like c5-6, a thoracic one maybe T 5-T6 if I am counting the levels correctly ( thoracic area always confuses me), and the lumbar ........OMG......it looks like a 18 month old stacked the blocks and someone took a picture just a split second before it fell over.....and that's not exaggerating. In fact, that's only the beginning- from L2-S1 is one mess after another. I know about adjacent segment problems but this is ridiculous. 
If I can figure out how to download the pictures from the cd onto my computer, I will post them. The pars are broken at L3/L4, L4/L5, L5/S1 . More than half of the canal is darkened and the other portion light......I mean it looks like the canal is closed off on one side of it .
L3 is falling off L4 by more than 50%. In fact, L4 is either crumbled or disintegrated, probably the latter. The L3-4 disc is hanging off the front of the vertebre and the L5 disc is extruded and hanging like a gob of something into the canal. There are darkened starburst shaped spots on the vertebre at L3,L4,L5 and a smaller spot on L2.....and there is more, so much more... 
The screws appear to be just under the skin and a tiny fraction of a mm or two below the muscle. There is contrast all around the screws which have gaps between the vertebre and the screws. In fact, it looks like if I bend over too far, they will come through the skin. 
The cage is broken into at least two pieces....and of course, there is no fusion... ...
It really does look like if I move the wrong way or bend too far, that my spine is going to fall down. This is the most frightened I've ever been in my life. 
I was talking to my husband before the 2nd half of the MRI about what the first tech said about the lack of fusion being the least of my problems and he asked what I thought she meant, so I said that there was most probably more nerve root impingement and the screws were probably loose......never expecting even for a second that there might be something more.......I know that I am leaving some of the other stuff that is wrong here out, because there is just so much that's obviously not right, that I can't remember all of it.. 
I see the doctor on Monday and I am pretty positive he is going to want me to be seen for a surgical consult immediately. I'm really scared guys.....what do I do?
I don't want to do surgery again........I am not sure that I can go back to 5 years ago.......but I don't think that I am going to get another option. 
Sandi