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Posted 8/2/2007 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
I know that 90+% of Chronic Pain sufferers never become addicted to the high doses of pain meds they require to function....however the truth is that some do and my husband is one of them.  It seems like an ugly cycle of distruction that is hard to see a way for him to get his life back from either angle without making the other issue out of control. Is there ANY one out there with BOTH issues that can offer any hope. At this point the addiction is ruling the roost and our family is being destroyed. My heart truly goes out to him but I feel completely helpless.
Posted 8/2/2007 11:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

I readyour story and it just makes me wanna cry. I grew up watching my father abuse pain killers. He died at 52 due to all the meds he abused. i'm not sure what kind of problem your husband has to have started taking the pain killers in the first place. And believe me I know alot pf people who were prescribed pain killers and got addicted to them.

Anyay, my dad was addicted to them for over 30 years. ai have seen him swallow 5-10 pills at a time, he would eat them like candy. My father also went through 33 surgeries, nine of them being back surgery. So I couldn't imagine the pain he was in. He tried several different re-habs numerous times. For a while he would do good then eventually he would go back abusing the pills. I know exactly what you ae going through. Does your husband wanna get off the pills? there are alot of places that can help him kick the addiction, but he has to really want to get off. They also have places for you and your family to go to to helo you deal with the situation. Do they have Alanon meetings in your area? When i was younger we use to go to all those meetings to help us deal with what my dad was going through.

I know how it feels for it to destry your family. when i was 7 my mom and dad divorced over his addiction. For the next 20 years aster that i watched him kill his self with the pills. if you don't mine me asking exactly what pills is he addicted to? Is he abusive to you will taking these pills? I know its hard to live with addict. And I hope and pray that he gets the help he needs to get off of them, but again he has to wanna stop.
My heart really goes out to you because i know exactly how you feel, and its a very hard life to live.

i am here if you ever need someone to talk to

God Bless
Brandy
Posted 8/2/2007 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
Are you talking about true addiction and abuse, overuse, misuse of his meds? Or are you referring to the normal physical dependancy that occurs with opiate therapy? There is a HUGE difference. Addicton is a mental issue, dependency is purely physical, meaning the patient will experience withdrawal if the meds are stopped or lowered too quickly.

On top of all that, there is yet another condition called psuedo-addiction, in which the patient displays some addictive behavior like doctor shopping or buying meds off the street. The patient does this because the pain is not being treated at all, or is under-treated. Where do you think your husband falls in these descriptions?

If you are talking about a true addiction problem, you have to realize that you are powerless to fix this problem. Does that mean you enable him? No. NarAnon would be a great place for you start to learn how to take care of yourself and your family without your husband doing further damage in that area. It's up to your husband to decide if he's going to continue damaging himself though. If there are no NarAnon meetings in your area, I understand that AlAnon welcomes family members of alcoholics as well as narcotics - abuse of both seems to go hand-in-hand these days.

Where is he getting his meds, what medication is he taking and how much? How long? What is the underlying medical problem that requires opiate therapy? Is he seeing a pain psychologist?

Sorry for all the questions, but more info will help you get more responses. Really sorry to hear you have to deal with this problem. :-(
Posted 8/3/2007 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
I am aware of physical as well as psychological dependency and how one's tolerance increases. I do believe my husband is truly addicted though. Each new doctor he gets gives him the benefit of the doubt and treats him as though there is not an addiction....ending up to realize it is and that he has broken all agreements they've made so they refuse to see him. At which point he moves to another doc that starts fresh giving him the benefit of the doubt. As far as I know it has gone on now for at least 17 years. If it is not one injury it is another. The lastest one is his back and it will be a forever injury. I have NO doubt he feels pain in his back, I do question however how much actual pain is physically caused or addiction caused. I don't for a second believe he is 'faking' his pain.
Posted 8/3/2007 4:42 AM (GMT 0)

Frog,

I read your story and many other made good points.  I am also on narcotics and I am scarred of being addicted myself.  I have a friend who has back pain as well and I think she is addicted and I worry about her too because she is always asking me for extra medicine and that really concerns me.  Also her husband is an alcoholic, who steals her pain meds that she really needs.  It is scary and it is real, I know that there is a line and we all have to understand that as most of us are on or have been on addictive medications.  I would recommend counseling for the both of you together, maybe a couselor can help you communicate your concerns to your husband, without  him feeling attacked or not taken seriously.  Sometimes it does feel like you have to take more I am going through that myself, I only do if it is really bad and I try for example 1 and 1/2 instead of to that way the tolerance doesn't go up too much.  It is hard to understand and hard to control when you are constantly in pain.  Maybe there is a treatment or surgery that may be of help to your husband.  What is exactly affected in his back, nerves? discs? vertebrae?  I might be able to come up with some ideas, As I have searched and tried just about everything natural and prescribed.  Hope you find some answers, Take Care.

Crystal

Posted 8/3/2007 5:23 AM (GMT 0)

Thanks for your thougths and ideas. Like I said, this has been going on for 17 years. After his first spurt in rehab, we believed all was rosie. We had two kids. When I was 8 mo. preg with the second...I found meds in his possession (he did not have an injury at the time). It was only a month later that he fell and did get hurt. We have tried counseling together, individually, numerous attempts to get to docs that can balance this ugly monster but none have been successful. Living with him was more impacted by the addiction part than the chronic pain. We were living with the "elephant in the corner" sydrome. My kids were increasingly being effected by his drugged out times, which became more and more often. We had numerous hospital runs for OD scares. He has depression (chicken or egg question) but it cannot be effectively dealt with because he has SOOOO much meds on board. Two years ago, after a deceptive ploy with a kook doc that he will not let go of he took literally handfuls, hundreds of pills and we got him to a hospital. His parents took him from there. I told them I needed to focus on the kids, and me while he needs to focus on himself. He has lived away from us for almost 2 years now. He has had ups and down times since then, but has worn out his welcome at his dad and has brought a tornado of ugly to his mom's. The kids and I are very active in a variety of different help programs for families in crisis. We have healed sooooo much and I am very very proud of how strong my kids have gotten. I know it will forever effect them, but I believe that all struggles can effect you by making you stronger and wiser. My son has said things that blow me away. He 'gets' it.  As for my husband, like I said he has his ups and downs but he always falls right back into the same-o-same-o. I love him very much and hope and pray he is able to conquer this. I know thought that there is nothing I can 'do' to help. Medically he has been handed the world on a platter and has sabotaged all of it.

You asked what meds and amounts that he is taking? Currently I am not 100% sure. I try to not overwhelm myself with knowing. Even when he lived with me I didn't always know because of the dishonesty and deception. I know at one point he had 14X80mg oxi prescribed per day as well as 1200mg Demerol per day, and others that I don't remember the amounts of...hydrocodone, valuim, soma - ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Now he has a pain pump with dilaudid and brobivicane (spelling?). He also takes orals but I'm not sure what or how many - he still sees the kook doc regularly so I could be anything.

Posted 8/3/2007 5:59 AM (GMT 0)
You have done the right thing seeking help for you and your kids. I know what you mean about the on going cycles. When one doc would get tired of my father he would just move on to the next. I have seen him sit in the emergency room all night long just to get meds prescribed to him. Again, you did everything you could do. As for your husband, he has to wanna change his life, getting off of pain killers to me is the hardest addiction to overcome, because like you said you don't doubt that he's in pain, and i'm sure he needs something to relieve his pain, but once you become addicted and you have to take more and more it seems imposible, but it can be done and no one not you or your kids can make him get clean. He has to want to do it for hi self. (i'm sure you know this). You are doing all you can do take care of your children and you first. You can't control his addiction.

You are in my prayers and I hope your husband can seek the help he needs

Take Care
Brandy
Posted 8/3/2007 6:19 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Brandy, I guess I am just hoping to run across a success story with someone in his situation. I've come to terms with the fact that I may never have my husband back. I feel confident that the kids and I will be just fine...but I still worry about him. When I talk to people knowledgeable about addiction, they don't 'get' the real pain part that is a forever reality for him. People knowledgeable about Chronic pain don't often 'get' the true addiction part that too, is a forever reality for him. What is good for one, worsens the other. I think he has chosen the addiction one to forteit. Hearing a success story would feel really good about now. :) Frog
Posted 8/3/2007 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Frog and welcome!

I'm sorry you're suffering so much but at least you're doing what you can to not only help him but you and your kids. I'm wondering if you're doing too much to help him. If he's had that many doctors and taking that much med...are you taking him to his appointments? Have you ever told one of the new doctors that he's an addict? What ever doc is prescribing those high doses of oxycontin is very irresponsible. NO one should take that much...instead a different form of treatment should be considered. What about the pharmacy...don't they question him? How many pharmacies does he use?

I totally agree with the others here but am trying to act devil's advocate. Someone..you...should turn him in to his doctors and get him on suboxone. That will relieve pain and 'dry him out' so he can get off the meds. He's out of control and one day he'll over dose and not recover. It's just a matter of time. Time for 'tough love'. He needs detox and in patient rehab in my opinion. Then a clear diagnosis of what really is causing his 'pain'.

Please understand this is said in love and caring. Your life is being take away by his addiction. Please be the one to get it back. You're strong and I admire all you've done so far. Take that big step and put a stop to it and save his life.

Hugs and prayers,
Chutzie
Posted 8/3/2007 11:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Miss Frog,  Methadone.  It was made for addiction & works very well in controlling pain for me.  I have been back & forth with so many meds & Methadone works best for me on my c.p. He's definately not the first or only one with those problems & he's lucky to have you.  Jeremy
Posted 8/5/2007 6:27 AM (GMT 0)
I have tried really hard to grasp what I do and do not have control over. I used to go to all appointments, make sure everyone heard the 'real' story so they can better help him, but then he just got mad and wouldn't let me go anymore. Not sure if I said above that we have been separated for almost 2 years now. I've tried to balance what was my responsibility and what isn't. I've turned the one doc into the state that concerns me the most. After I mailed the paper, I tried to know I did my part and what comes of those complaints is out of my hands. I met his newest doc on his first 'interview' appointment, then callled him later and shared that I was concerned that the 'whole truth' was not shared in the interview, I shared an overview and said I thought it would be in his best interest if more of his history was looked into and understood before treating him. Again, I released it after that phone call. I feel it was my job to make him aware, but then it was out of my hands. I try not to ask and search and seek out who, what, when, where because I know it is all within a very secret world that drives me nuts. I know that if we are ever able to reconcile that would be huge mountain to cross, I feel with his past I should know all details but if were are to have a healthy relationship, I'd have to know without seeking and searching. I think we are a LONG ways from that.

I've made sure the court papers protect the kids from any danger as well as witnessing him drugged out. I've promised him that everytime he throws out suicide comments I would call emergency...if he meant it he would need it, if he didn't - he'd have to clear that up with the ambulance/cops when they showed. I've told him that each time I see him attempt to drive when he shouldn't I would call the police (actually have had to do this one).

I still love him very much and also know the loves us and would want me to protect his family....although in the midst of this he doesn't always see it that way. So I go along, making sure the kids are as healthy as possible and continue to pray for him.

I just wish he didn't have the double whammy. I struggle to see what he can do to control pain and deal with the addiction at the same time. Oh, and yes  he has tried suboxin and Methedone. He currently has a pain pump....we thought that might give him releif without the side effects AND allow him to 'stop' taking the orals...obviously didn't work.

Posted 8/5/2007 6:51 AM (GMT 0)
Look, here is the final word on dependence vs addiction.
All of us CP'ers on narcotics will become dependent. All that means is that if we stop our meds abruptly, we will suffer withdrawal

WITHDRAWAL DOES NOT MEAN ADDICTION

Addiction is a psychological event. Addicts take meds for the high, not for pain relief They do not follow doc's directions, they buy meds on the street, they Doctor shop, etc

Addicts find that taking the meds makes the quality of their life worse. They lose their job, spouse, money and house.

Those using the meds correctly find that the meds improve the qulaity of life and enable them to do productive things like work.
Posted 8/5/2007 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the clarification Wolftrades....yep, with your definition, my husband is definately in the addict catagory.
Posted 3/21/2011 10:47 AM (GMT 0)
I would like to know whether there are painkillers which have fewer side effects than Paracetamol and Voltaren. My old father has been suffering from acute muscle pain due to allergic reaction against cholesterol lowering pills., even though he has stopped taking them long time ago. I don't how long this pain will stop. Please help.
Posted 3/21/2011 11:54 AM (GMT 0)
I am sorry about your husband and also the stress this puts on you. I do not have this problems but when I went to Cleveland Clinic pain program which was 8 hours 5 days a week many people did have this problem. In the program they took them off meds they were using in an unhealthy way but also helped them learn coping skills,learn why they use meds in a destructive way etc. Also families were part of the process as well. Would your husband be willing to look into a program like that?
Posted 3/21/2011 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
Well, it sounds like you already know what has to be done....Rehab....they have Rehab's that specialize in CP and addiction....find one in your area....your family can get through this with your marriage in tact.
Posted 3/21/2011 12:56 PM (GMT 0)
I have a very good friend who is CP and her husband is also CP. He (not she) has had MANY bouts with taking too many meds, Dr shopping, and Lord knows what else. He was very badly injured (actually crushed between two cars) and also has horriffic migraines and chronic extreme sinus infections.

He has been hospitalized multiple times for overdoing the meds and has had some serious conditions develop from them....but....he is is very serious pain as well. It sounds a lot like your husband in that he is surely in pain (11 back surgeries is pain forever, I'm afraid). I don't know the answer, but I do know that she found his "drug of choice" which was not one of the "biggies", but was zanaflex and took care of the problem by making his meds up every day and including 1 zanaflex and three vitamin pills exactly the same size. Now he doesn't even realize he was abusing and he doesn't know that his meds are different. He just honestly believed if one helps, four are better. Of course this made him a danger to himself and others. I don't recommend messing with someone else's meds ever, but my friend made that decision and it has worked better than any other thing they have ever tried (about 22 years). The serious meds (Oxy, Opana, Kadien, Suboxone, Methodone) never were a problem for him....it was the Zanaflex that gave him the uncontrollable behavior.....also Ambien did the same for him (but he was hateful and sometimes a little dangerous witht the Ambien). She freaked when I started using it, but I have no problem. It was just his body didn't respond like the "normal" person.

I mention the medication names because each med works so differently with each person. I do not mean to imply that any med is bad or good...but that some work for one person and can cause awful reactions in another.

If your husband had a single "drug of choice" that was the link, perhaps there could be something done about that one. Otherwise, NarcAnon, AlAnon, and programs like that might be helpful to understanding your role in the addiction process.

You sound as if you are doing all you can and I applaud you for that. Please know, however, that you did not cause this problem, you cannot cure this problem and you are not responsible for this person's actions.

I wish you all the best!
Posted 3/21/2011 1:19 PM (GMT 0)

   Hello Bobby008!

            Welcome to the CP forum! The post here is an old one, although I know you have in interest in it.

      I would invite you to repost this question on a separate topic, so that all of the members can properly welcome you here. Please tell us a little about yourself there as well.

           Also theere is a topic at the top of our forum page listed as Chronic Pain 101, and I invite you to read that as well. Lots of good information there.

          Hope to see you repost this again, and Welcome!

   SE wink

Posted 3/21/2011 3:30 PM (GMT 0)

   Dear Bobby008,

    Good morning and welcome to Healing Well! I would like to invite you to start an introduction about yourself. That way we can give you a proper welcome and get to know you!

   We have many care providers of persons with chronic pain here. I know it is very hard to care for someone in chronic pain, let alone your own father. When it comes to pain medications, I would urge you to go with your father to his appointments. Speak your concerns freely with his doctor. There may be nerve damage or other reasons why he needs the medication long term. So, it will be important to first find out why he had been on the medication so long.

     Again, it was very nice to meet you! Welcome to Healing Well!

*hugg*
   dani

(p.s. I think I might copy and paste your post into a new topic. I will use your "member name" in the title so you can find it easier)

Posted 3/21/2011 3:31 PM (GMT 0)

  Retired, Unique, JCG. This topic is 5yrs old. It was started back in 2007

Posted 3/21/2011 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
oopps!!! I guess I was still asleep when I posted on this one.

Thanks for pointing it out :)
Posted 3/21/2011 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
hello this is nini53 i am just reading different postings about different problems, I cant tell you how much i wish i had know about healingwell many years ago.  the age old question am i a chronic pain patient or am i a drug addict it sneaks up on you, the addiction i mean.  I was diagnosed many years ago i  it was 1998 originally, by then i had been on narcotic pain meds for in the beginning 1989, it was off and on by 1998 it was constant meds as the years have gone by i have had my problems with over using my meds, also i asked for a received meds like zanax, valium etc, those really gave me problems or i should i made problems for myself with abusing them.  By now I only take exactly what is prescribed for me and how they are prescribed for me but it was a very large and scary struggle, my children almost disowned me anyway i can say that is in the past and i am grateful to be here and alive and doing what i need to have the best quality of life i can tongue

 

Posted 3/21/2011 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Nini53 if you would like to continue a discussion on this subject please start a new post. This post is a very old one. All you have to do is look to the left where it says Post New Topic and click there to start a new one.

Members please do not make any further comments on this thread. Thanks.
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