Just what am I suppose to do. (Venting)

I had a court hearing Weds afternoon to update the court on the status of my SSI disability application due to my owing some child support. (The kid is 21 now and I owe about a year's worth that accumulated a few months here and there over the course of 17 years)

For the past couple of years I had been dealing with the county's family law judge who had held that position for more than a decade. He was a very good judge who treated everyone with respect and was very fair. He was willing to do anything he could to help you so long as you worked with him and treated him with respect. Sadly he retired a few months ago and the judge that replaced him was one that came over from the criminal court and is his exact opposite.

Anyway at the hearing this judge all but called me a liar and came within an inch of issuing a court order for me to go back to work. The only thing that stopped her was a letter from a doctor saying that I was unable to work and outlining my health problems. She (the judge) looked very unhappy when she found this letter in my court records.

In today's hearing I was actually told things like: "Since you are able to care for a child you should be able to work." "Since you were denied by SSI apparently your condition is not that bad and you should be able to find a job within your physical limitations."

I asked her and the lawyer who was representing the state's attorney general's office just what kind of job I could hold being a 41 year old with a high school education who can't stand, sit, walk, for more than 15-20 minutes without having my pain levels go from moderate (with medication) to severe. I asked them what employer would hire someone who is on long term narcotic pain medications as every employer I have ever had would put you on a leave of absence if you started taking these types of drugs because they knew their insurance would not cover any claim should anything happen. Of course I never got an answer.

During the hearing I was also berated for not having surgery to "correct" my back problems and was all but told I was wrong for putting it off until such a time as I could be sure that we had support in place to care for my 5 year old which would not happen until after my wife graduates even though I explained that due to having diabetes that my healing time would be longer than normal and that it also put me at greater risk for complications. I also explained that several doctors had put me at a 50/50 chance of surgery helping and a 25% chance of it making things worse, including being partially or totally paralyzed from the waist down and that with those odds I am not in any hurry to take a chance of going from bad to very, very bad.

Finally, somehow, in all of this it was basically pointed out to me that it is my fault that my SSI was denied, that SSI lost my appeal and that since I have had not had surgery and am still able to do most things, even though it is with difficulty, that I can not find an attorney willing to take my case unless I pay them upfront because they do not think I could win at this time due to not having tried the surgical route. I have been told it would be different if the surgeons would say there was a very good chance the surgery would not help, but as many of you know good luck with that one as those who do back surgeries all think they can "cure" you under the knife.

Post Edited (Jim1969) : 5/5/2011 1:23:34 AM (GMT-6)

Thanks Tina.

I am not expecting answers. I am just venting.

This really just goes along with all the other things those of us with CP and/or "invisible" disabilities face practically every day.

It also goes to show how out of touch with reality those with "cushy" jobs (lawyers, doctors, judges, politicians) really are.

I find it extremely hard to believe a judge or even God could write a letter and force you to go back to work. We have rights in this country, civil rights, and human rights. It seems to me a criminal court judge would have bad judgement in this situation anyways.

I hope all goes well for you, cant your lawyer get your case transferred to another judge that happens all the time? Or do you live in a smaller area with less judges?

One thing that I hope no one gets the impression of is that I am or ever have been against paying child support. I am and always have been a firm believer in that if the non custodial parent is able to work they should work and help with the financial obligations of raising a kid....along with being a part of your child's life.

I have always paid my support when I had a job and have made efforts to pay extra when I have gotten behind. I made my 1st payment one week after my oldest son's mother and I broke up and I moved out. This was after making sure all the bills were paid and there was 2 weeks worth of food in the house along with diapers and anything else my son might need.

I do have issues with how the child support system treats non custodial parents and with many of their procedures, but not with the obligation itself.

I always have had intentions of paying off the back owed support if ever comes the day I once again have some kind of income, but given the way I have been treated and seen others treated it is tempting to pack up and move somewhere they can't find me and let them eat it.

I don't know how other states treat non custodial parents, but here in Illinois the Attorney General's office treats them like public enemy number one if they owe more than $1.

Jim,

Where are you located? The work I do is call center work and it pays decent and you can sit, stand, walk in circles and move around (on your 4 ft leash of course) as needed.

They usually have a variety of shifts and hours worked available and some will even let you work from home (my company lets me work out of my house)

Send me an email if you want to know more. If I did not work in the field I do I would not be working so maybe it can help you.

Sarrah

Awh, Jim, I'm so sorry to hear this, I'm certain SOMETHING will work out for you though, you're a good person! It stinks that these judges and stuff have absolutely no compassion for cp victims....but trust me, she'll get hers, what comes around goes around (if you know what I mean).
I will be praying for you to find something that will be easy on you physically yet pay you rewardingly. I trust there is a silver lining to this dark cloud, you just gotta look for it, it's there!
How bout being a school bus driver? Around here where I live they also have something called Septran where you drive SUV's to pick up kids al over....and I know someone personally who does that and he can go and do stuff and stop and get out and walk around in between pick ups and stuff. (You're not required to tell your employer what kind of medications you take are you?) I hear they pay good and you don't have to be driving for too long and the hours are nice.....I don't know.....it just popped into my mind.

Many employers drug test today. I do know people who are on pain management who after they are hired, but before they go for their drug test will present thier employer with a list of perscription drugs they take. You can get a print out from any pharmacy. Aftet that you would have a good discrimination case if you were let go if you could otherwise do the work,
However, I know that there are jobs that can fit the needs of many disabled people. I suggest you go to a VOCATIONAL COUNSELOR, or OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST who can access you regarding your work limitations. I know many states provide those services at their state employment office. Also if one of those professionals really limits the work they feel you can do it may sit better with the judge

Jim, sure hope things go better for you...you deserve to have things go better...
But it does suck not to have a good legal system, they should have to go
before a review committee every year...Appeal all the way, it's your right...
get more doctors notes...maybe a neurologists might give you one...
There has to be someone who can help you...
well wishes and Prayers...