Rough day...just need a little whine :(

roccky,

very good post, and easy to understand where you are coming from. i would call it a good and productive vent.

i am in a situation where there is no hope outside a miracle of ever being rid of constant pain too, been past the 2 year mark for me, and i have just turned 60. i have not been able to work since i was 56. this would make some people happy, but for me, my career was an important part of my life and who I am as person. I was cut down right at the peak of my "game" so to speak. that aspect of my life still bothers me more inside than the chronic pain and faitgue. To go from being a big shot in the business world to being almost an invalid is a hard thing to swallow for me, makes me feel like i am becoming ilrelevant to the world and to myself.

as far as dealing with the pain, this is what works for me, and i dont mean the meds i take, that obviously helps the physical side of it. it comes down to total acceptance, and that can happen fast for some, and never for others. meaning, the sooner a person comes to terms with their new reality, in our cases here, chronic pain, the sooner you accept this as your new reality. its when you are still dealing with anger issues related to health, or resentment, or bitterness, or sorrow or self pity - it's those attributes that keeps a person a victim.

i am learning to adapt to the things i can do now, vs. the things that i use to be able to do. all the wishing in the world isn't going to change my situation, and re-hashing and re-playing how it use to be won't do a thing but drift my mind back to negative thoughts. i didn't add above, that i am also dealing with advanced prostate cancer and all curative hopes and treatments for me have come and gone. if i don't die in an accident or have a heart attack, the cancer will kill me in a few short years at best. i know this too, and accept it in the bigger picture of things in life.

i can choose to keep fighting these changes in my life, or i can accept them, and try to enjoy the time i do have left to live. i view all life as being precious or dear, and i don't want to waste my months or years in non-productive ways, including any attempts at self-pity. i don't feel sorry for me, and i sure don't want others to feel sorry for me. these are the cards i have been dealt, so the trick now, is to play them to my advantage.

but seriously, and i didn't mean to be so long, but thought your post deserved a full and proper answer, because i can relate to what you are saying. live each day the best you can, and never, ever give up hope. what can't be done or cured or solved today, may be a day away from happening, so you never want to give up that hope.

hoping for the best for you.

david in s.c.

I just wanted to tell you I know its hard and I hope you have a better day tomorrow! I know I get on here to when having a extra hard time and its so good to have the support of everyone on here!