(My 2nd attempt to answer you,lol)
Scott, welcome to HW CP, glad you found us. I just wrote you a long reply on HW, and right before I hit submit, lost the whole thing, so hope I can duplicate what I wrote you.
You asked a good question. For starters, you must be your own best advocate first off. You must be able to communicate both openly and honestly with your doctor(s). Even the best doctor in the world isn’t a mind reader. A doctor appreciates an informed patient (not a know it all type). It’s up to you to be able to tell your doctor how much you are hurting, when you are hurting, and where you are hurting. That will make his job much easier to come up with a drug mix and dose plan that will work for you.
You are right, the goal realistically isn’t finding a way to be 100% pain free. You want to be as pain free as possible, yet still be functional, and that takes a good balance.
A little background on me. I am dealing with advanced prostate cancer. In the past 4 years, I have had 9 operations (2 major) and 2 months of radiation. It has all failed to slow down the cancer, and I am no beyond curative hope. The radiation was applied wrong, and it destroyed my bladder – forcing me to have major bladder by-pass surgery leaving me with a stoma. It was the faulty radiation that left me with severe chronic and perm. Pain, along with extreme chronic fatigue. I am no longer able to work, and am on SSD. I did not want this outcome, I loved my career, and it has been cut short because of what I have been through.
It took my oncologist and I months working together as a team to find the right mix of meds to control my pain. I had to make a trade off, I was willing to accept “x” amount of pain, in order to not feel drugged out of my mind and still be functional. I still have a wife and family and other obligations, so I wanted to be as fully functional as possible at this point in my life.
Again, it takes a caring and compassionate doctor, working with a willing and articulated patient to pull this off together. At no point did my doctor think I was a drug seeker. It’s quite the opposite, because he knows that if anything, I am overly cautious about taking meds, even OTC meds. He always started me off on ultra low doses, because he knew my tendency would be avoid the drugs if I thought they were too strong.
He’s been very willing to make adjustments on short notice, by phone or e-mail, based on updates that I have given him. So as I tell people, my pain is 90% controlled, 90% of the time, and that’s the best I can hope for without feeling drugged up.
You need to openly communicate where your pain is with your doctor, and let him know up front that you have both work and family responsibilities. You need to be that best advocate for “Scott”. There is that proper balance out there for you, and there is no reason for you be suffering in needless amounts of pain in our day and time.
I hope you find that balance soon for you, you will feel better for it, and feel more productive about the other parts of your life. And please, never ever give up hope, there is a proper answer for your needs. If you do your part, openly and honestly with the right doctor, you will find it.
Wishing you all the best, and a quicker solution to get you out of the “pain zone”.
David in S.C.