First of all, Matt, no offense taken... Ever! I totally want people to shoot straight with me, always! Sometimes (this isn't one of them), the truth hurts, but honestly, I didn't come here for people to tip-toe around and try to figure out what I want to hear. So, no worries about
that ever, m'kay?
Here's the thing... And you're right about
my already having decided. I want the surgery, but I want it with the guarantee that it'll help me and that this won't be the first of many. Don't want much, do I? Now, I know that none of those guarantees are even a remote possibility. So, now what?
I really am not the Diva that last paragraph made me sound to be (besides, that position is already held by my nine-year-old daughter). Absent those guarantees, I suppose I still know what I want. I want to feel better, and when spinal surgery is that thing to make me feel better... Wow, Matt, you're good... It really does come down to trusting myself, doesn't it?
The neurosurgeon I saw basically said this: He called my discs "large bulges" (I thought the report I read said the lower was actually herniated, however, he saw the actual images, not the report) that don't look too bad; would he do the surgery? Sure, we can schedule it today. Do I need surgery today? No, it is not emergent. Will it become emergent? Well, since I am "only" 41 and likely have another 40 years in me, having surgery today will likely start me down the road of needing surgery on the space above where surgery was due to it compensating and taking the movement the two fused spaces no longer can. So, he says, the only way to help these discs is with anti-inflammatories, exercise and PT (tried anti-inflams, exercise hurts, although I do try to walk when I can and I haven't done PT). Like I said, he didn't sound too keen on PM or the modalities offered thru PM. I took all of this to mean this: Yes, surgery is in my future. Whether I elect to bite the bullet and have it now OR do all that I can to buy myself time until I just can't stand it anymore (which is pretty much where I am), then have surgery. I am not so confident that I can buy myself several years... Heck, I'd be happy with buying several months, at this point!
Here's the thing... I can tell that my husband thinks I should wait. And I have always looked to him as Mr. Sensible, because he really is. I suppose there is a part of me thinking that if surgery right now was the sensible option, he would be the first one to tell me to go for it. But he isn't.
I have tried many other conservative "things". (Just to catch you up) I've had ESIs, trigger point injections, facet joint injections, injections just to numb me, TENS, heat, ice (although with the cold intolerance from my recently diagnosed hypothroid, simply put, ice *hurts*), and I'm sure I'm leaving some other thing out. The injections, at one point, were giving me several months, even a couple of times, up to a year, of relief. However, these last attempts have only given me a few days, weeks at most.
Once again, I feel as if I'm rambling. I plan to take my Mom with me to the second opinion appointment. She is great in these types of situations and I think it will be helpful just to have a different opinion, even if she thinks I shoukd wait.
Oh, and Susie, those are exactly my two problem discs. I really take your experience to heart! Thank you for sharing.
(one thing I keep forgetting to ask either PM doc or heck, even my PCP... I had spinal mennigitis when I was 2 1/2. I was hospitalized over two weeks and completely digressed... I had been totally potty trained prior and had to completely relearn, as well as talking - had to relearn speech, as well. I have never had any learning or speech difficulties, however, has anyone heard of any long-term physycal effects? Don't worry... I'm all over teh Google!)
Thanks for putting up with me... ALL of you!!