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Inconsiderate people!

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 12/27/2012 9:58 PM (GMT 0)
Christmas eve I made my way to the grocery store with my daughter. After a full day of running, my pain levels were at an all time high and of course since I was driving I had taken no break thru meds, I just turned my stim up and held my breath. After parking in one of the 3 open handicapped spots and putting my placard up we got out of the car and went to the doors. A man pulled around, stopped his car and started yelling at me about how that "spot" is not for me and my lazy daughter. There was another few words in there but cant post them on here.

One time at a mall a security guard questioned me about parking in the handicapped area and I gladly offered my dmv placard ID and drivers liscense. I understand the issue with people using others placards.

So then the guy came into the store and proceded to follow me around the store making comments. I was skipping areas and going back but he was always behind me. I was ready to get the store manager when my 15 year old daughter was threatening to give him a piece of her mind. He overheard our conversation and promptly went in the other direction.

Its no one elses business whats "wrong" with me, but why do people need to be so inconsiderate? I was happy that my daughter was willing to stick up for me, but at the same time didnt need to start a scene at a local grocery store. She usually doesnt seem to get the sort of pain I have. When they cant see it, its really not there. I try not to let it bother me, maybe I should have actually said something to him to make him think. How does everyone handle the general public who gives you a hard time?
Posted 12/27/2012 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
Shell, I have handicap plates on my car and I have not ever had anyone say anything to me. When my daughter hauls me around we use the placard. If someone ever confronts you again like that I would get the store mgr involved immediately. By commenting back to the idiot it is just adding fuel to the fire. I am really sorry this happened to you. Take care....Susie
Posted 12/27/2012 10:24 PM (GMT 0)
I try hard to just ignore people like the 'man' you encountered. My reasoning is that most people like him are wanting a confrontation; they want to provoke a response and I won't give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to me. However, I have been known to react to ignorance a time or two (or three.... C:). For example, to the idiot you ran into, I would have liked to have said, "Sir, some medical issues/handicaps are not obvious from the outside. Take yourself for instance, your handicap is not noticeable - until you open your mouth and speak - then it becomes obvious."
Posted 12/28/2012 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
Your vent is well justified, and this idiot needed to learn a lesson. Lots of inconsiderate and senseless people like that, unfortunately.

I had the opposite problem. Was in a lot of pain recently needing to go to Publix with my visiting daughter. Circled the parking area 3x trying to find a handicap spot (I have a perm. tag on my car, and a placard in my wife's truck, we were in my car).

Finally a spot opened, and as I was steering toward it, with my direction light on, this old women, driving the wrong way down the parking lane, cut right in front of my car and stole my space, almost hitting my car. I was furious.

I watched closely, she did not have a handicap tag or placard on her car. I watched her get out and start to walk toward the front of the store. I drove around and blocked her path, and to my daughter's horror, I let the window down and spoke to this rude women. I said that you just cut me off deliberately going the wrong way. She said, too bad, first come first served. Then when I pointed out that she didn't have any handicap tag/placard, she told me it was none of my business, that she had a handicap person sitting in her car in the passenger side. I told her, that didn't count, it didn't work that way with the law. She laughed at me and walked off.

Such was the "Christmas" spirit experience I got to see first hand. Ended up having to park at the far end of the parking lot, and make a long walk to the store and back. I have evil words and thoughts in my head at that point, but decided to suck it up to the sheer rudeness and stupidity of people.

So I know where you are coming from. Had there been a cop handy, I would have gladly reported her, but of course there is never one when you need one, lol, so they say.

David in SC
Posted 12/28/2012 1:50 AM (GMT 0)
So very sorry you had to go thru that, it is a hard time of year for us.
Unfortunatly, people will be rude, I have to use a cane so once, I get out of my car using my cane people then stop making rude gestures. However, because I look so young; that when I park in the handicapped spots I get the rude manners until they see my cane and slow strides. I have had my handicapped placard for years now. I will sometimes get upset at people with those placards and not looking disabled, maybe you could say:" My cane is in the car and I'm just making a quick stop, what's your problem..."
Maybe sometimes the best thing you can do for these people is to pray for them.
Sure hope this doesn't happen to you anymore!
However, on the flip side it's good people are looking out for the handicapped to make sure a handicapped person gets those spots, it's one of those doubled edged swords things, because I've seen lots of regular people take handicapped spots that they should not, or using grandma;s placard. (I know no excuse)
So this is a touch thing to discuss and again, I'm sorry this happened to you.
Many well wishes
Posted 12/28/2012 1:59 AM (GMT 0)
Ugh! I'm sorry to hear about your horrible experience Shell! People can be so nasty. I work in a profession where I interact with a ton of clients each day (both on the phone and in person). While most people are fine, if not nice or even enjoyable to work with, there are always those few who are just awful. They think that the world revolves around them, and that they are always right. I definitely have those days when I come home saying "I hate people!" Those rotten few spoil things for the rest of us.

As my doctors always tells me, it's these "invisible diseases" that are the worst, and pain can most definitely fall into that category. It's hard for most people to comprehend things that they cannot "see."

Hope you had a better day today!

Skeye
Posted 12/28/2012 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
If someone truly believes that a handicap spot is being used illegally then they should call the police's non emergency number and report it and let the cops investigate it. Those numbers on those placards, or the handicap plates, are issued to a specific person and if that person is not in attendance then fines can be issued. Who a plate or placard is issued for is available easily to the police.

While it is commendable for people to want to protect handicap zones what they need to realize it that harassing anyone they think may be using them illegally can actually wind up placing themselves into some serious legal problems.
Posted 12/28/2012 2:36 PM (GMT 0)
I always carry my required ID card with just incase anyone "official" confronts me. Had he called the cops or had the store manager question me I would gladly show my cards. This guy just really irked me, on a day that I was allready stressed to the max,lol. My daughter really wanted to give him a piece of her mind. I just told her that its not appropriate to sink to their level, we know the truth, and we are being the better people by letting his comments not get a rise out of us.

Sorry David that the woman was so rude in your case. The holidays bring out the absolute best in everyone I guess.
Posted 12/31/2012 6:24 AM (GMT 0)
the handicapped placards are like meds, people who abuse them ruin it for those who need them. Cannot say how many times I have seen teens take grandma's car and park in handicapped parking. Or the idiots who park 4 cars in one space. BUT my favorite of all are those that line the fire lanes on both sides so you cannot even manipulate the parking lot to look for a place. Tell the store manager, and be told THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO> I remind them that they labeled the no parking areas, and fire lanes, but they refuse to even ask them to leave. I have told those with no handicapped placards not to park in those spaces, and get flipped off.
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