Ktk81,
Thanks for sharing more about
your situation. There are bits and pieces that remind me of my own pain journey..... I wish I wasn't so tired or I would share the things - in particular - that remind me of my own situation.
Shorter version, I had many young children. Pain issues that started and were out of control. Wonderful doctors - but because my pain was so high, they just tended to throw more narcotics at me....... saying the same thing, that I had an unusually high tolerance to meds, on and on. The problem was........ even on absurdly high doses of opiods - my pain was extremely high.
It's a long story re: the "whys" of getting off almost all of my meds. It involved a move back here from Colorado (we truly loved it there, but I was on oxygen by the time we left); finding a new Pain Clinic...... and then, above all, having a "surprise" twin pregnancy and having to (and wanting to) get off almost all my meds.
So - that's the short version, lol - and I would NOT recommend any of those steps to reset your receptors, haha = (though it all worked out, there are much easier ways).
But.... I think the other posters are really onto something....... and my post/experience is another vote in agreement to what's probably going on with you. Huge tolerance, rebound pain, etc.
Just some more thoughts: You wrote: "I don't know if I am strong enough to handle my pain without meds or care for my son." I understand that worry completely. But just food for thought: 1) As the others mentioned, you aren't going to cold turkey off all of the meds, so you will still have meds on board and 2) I think many moms really underestimate themselves in the strength department. You've been caring for him on a daily basis.... despite some big health/pain issues........ and - if the meds aren't working for you now - tapering slowly down isn't going to be a huge change - do you know what I mean?
But it needs to a taper down agreement between you and your doctor. I did a 3 month taper down....... didn't have any real w/d symptoms........ but you could, in theory, go even slower (I did it like that because I was pregnant).
Anyway..... I could go on and on. But I'm living proof that receptors and tolerance CAN be reset. I went from being on 600 to 700 mg of morphine (or equivalent - adding in the dilaudid, fentanyl, whatever else that I was presecribed). I was on ALL of that.... still about
a 7 or 8 on the pain scale (out of 10)..... still in tears daily. Etc.
Now? I'm stable for the most part. Take oxycontin 30mg, 3x daily. I have 2 different BT meds - 1 for "normal" BT pain and one for times when it's severe. I use a muscle relaxer and nerve med. But - again, it works. I rotate my BT meds every 4 to 6 months. Changing it seems to utilize different pain pathways, instead of just upping my dose and adding to my tolerance. Add in many other things - like trigger point injections, more exercise (just walking, but it's something). I've also changed my attitude about
everything. I've lowered my expectations drastically - as to what I expect from pain management to what I can realistically can do with my children. But that's a whole other post for another time. lol.
Point is: it can be done. If 150mcg of fentanyl isn't working - there's an issue somewhere - and I think there's much evidence that points to a huge tolerance created by going too high on narcotics and rebound pain issues (basically creating a opiod induced hyperalgesia. Here's a link for more reading. Side note: I used to hear ths term and think "But my pain is REAL". Hyperalgesia is still VERY real pain.)
www.integration.samhsa.gov/pbhci-learning-community/Opioid-Induced_Hyperalgesia_Article.pdfWishing you success and pain relief! If you have any specific questions, please feel free to ask. --Tina