Isolation and resentment

I am really struggling. I have Neuropathy which makes it very painful and difficult for me to get around. Also, because I cannot work my income is now quite low. I find myself isolating and avoiding people who used to be my friends. I guess I resent them because they can still do the things I can't and because they are not broke all the time. They try, but they just don't get it and being with them is very disappointing. It doesn't seem worth all the pain it takes to visit them. My family refuses to discuss my health problems. They think my pain is all in my head. So no support there. (This despite an EMG and many other tests that prove my condition is real.) I have searched for a local support group but there doesn't seem to be one. Online groups only help so much. All of this is complicated by the fact that I am about to turn 65 - change and finding new friends is difficult at my age. I really need to find some people who understand and maybe even share my predicament. It is hard enough to deal with this but doing it alone is Hell. I know the anger and anxiety about the future only makes my pain worse. Thanks for letting me vent.

Thank you Sandra. I have tried many medications including Lyrica and other tricyclics, various other anti-depressants, Neurontin and other anti-seizure meds , just to name a few. Nothing helps much and the side effects can be severe. I have also tried biofeedback, meditation, TENs, water aerobics, therapy, DBT, you name it. And for awhile I did well. I have been sick since 1993 and I am just burned out. But thanks for responding. I hope you are doing well. Happy New Year.

Welcome to Hw! I can honestly say I found out who my real friends were early out in this journey! The one's who were happy treating me to movies or renting movies and pizza at my house without making me feel inferior or bad because I didn't have money for the theater, and always using the excuse they were tired or they had a pizza coupon etc.

I've held those few close and dear and never missed the countless others.

I've got to say though your thoughts on online forum's or support groups falling short is well, you've obviously not been here to CP at HW! There's awesome folks here and we're like a family! We've cried together, laughed, hoped, and dreamed but most of all we empathize with each other.

If I show up and post "I've had it, I'm fed up, or this pain is killing me! They know! I mean they really know and I take comfort in their knowledge and I don't have to try putting it into words, defend myself, or say another word and they still get it! I can't put a price on that.

So stick around, get to know us, make some friends and I'm betting that view changes! Lol

Looking forward to hearing more of your story and sure glad you found us.

I can empathize very much with your situation. I also tend to spend a lot of my time isolated, and like Vickie stated, I learned through this journey who my real friends were,...and I also made new friends. Many of them are right here.

I know how that sounds, being online and all. But perhaps because I spend so much time alone, I'm even more invested. This is a great community filled with great people. You can see by how many posts people have made, and how long they've been here at the same site, that they too, are quite invested in HW.

This forum really is different. I've found it different than other forums, and you'd be surprised,....give us some time here and you'll see too! I don't know what I did before I found this bunch, but I'll tell you this, I am very grateful to be here and to feel accepted.



M.

Ladies, think about this, pain is something that cannot be seen. Because it is an unseen thing people just cannot wrap their brain around pain. Now, if you cut your hand wide open on something & need to go get it stitched up, the first thing you are going to hear is; oh you poor thing, you have that awful cut & I just know that has to hurt, lol!!! Am I right??? They can see that cut & blood running, therefore, they can imagine pain because of it. But, if you say I have neuropathy, oh their eyes all but roll back into their heads.

For whatever it is worth, people do not get it for whatever reason. But, don't let that rule your life either, set boundaries on what you can or cannot handle & move on, be selfish if you have to, but take care of your needs. Don't let stress eat your lunch, stress can be a silent killer I am convinced.

When you get mad at someone because they don't understand & trust me we have all been there at one time or another, blow it off, don't let it eat on you. We really have more control than we sometimes realize.

Take care....Susie

I wholeheartedly agree with Straydog. People make judgements out of
pure ignorance; until someone stands in your shoes regarding pain. I
don't want their advice, especially when I am not asking.

Toxic relationships are not healthy, and will bring you down. I agree with setting boundaries, and don't be afraid of divorcing yourself from friends/relatives or whomever is negative.

Make new friends, join community activities, or go to a coffee house to get you out of the house. This will make you feel good, to take your mind off from your pain.

Kind regards,
Sandra

Sandra, I love your post and you are spot on in too, lol. I refuse to let myself sit too long, I make myself get out of the house. It is way too easy to just sit & do nothing but I have to keep moving.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.....Susie