Hey BTL...Again, great information. It makes me sad(er) that I don't have the option of MM. I cannot adequately convey the unnecessary suffering I have endured for most of my adult life, either from severe pain or from the "big gun" meds it would require to manage it. I had gastric bypass surgery in 1987 and although I'm "skinny"...my life went into a death spiral. I have horrid gastric issues with oral pain meds, not to mention the mal-absorption issues. It's a choice between 2 evils--HURT or HURT?
The only relief I ever felt was from Fentanyl patch in 2005-06 attempt at PM. Back then, though, my doctor would not prescribe change intervals @ 48 hours. The 72 hour protocol left me in agonizing WD that eventually outweighed the benefit of pain relief. I QUIT. I left PM and I've had to grind through my severe pain since then, without pain meds beyond Darvocet...then it was off-market by 2010.
My current PM (enrolled in January 2014 in desperation) wanted me on Fentanyl or Butrans first choice for transdermal delivery. He still does. I don't trust him (long story) to follow through indefinitely once my body became dependent upon the patches PLUS it's expensive even with generic. I may eventually have to surrender to the patch since it's more affordable to me than ER Oxycodone.
I feel like I'm trapped right now, in EVERY direction. I was only enrolled in PM for a few months when I got shingles in my eye. I've had to battle this virus for 13 weeks now, which appears as though it's going to leave me scarred both physically and mentally. I've no doubt the stress of obtaining a good working relationship (not) with my PM, along with intense problems with drug trials (failed) contributed to the onset of the viral outbreak. I almost wish I'd never stepped into this "rabbit hole" of PM again.
My husband jokes that "if only" our state would legalize, we could grow some in our courtyard for me to use as MM. It was 35 years ago (in his college days) that he and his friends grew plants on the window sill...just to see if they could. He still has a green thumb with cherry tomato and jalapeno pepper plants, so...maybe some day=) He agonizes with witnessing my day to day writhing in pain, but feels his hands are tied. He asks repeatedly "Baby, what can I do to help you feel better?" I respond "Just love me through it...I don't know how you stay".
Oh, just to feel the sun upon my skin as I performed yoga...the release of constant clenched teeth and white knuckles of pain...TOTO, it ain't legal in my state yet=(
HUGS---Dixie