New here - wondering how you deal?

How do you deal with your chronic pain? What gives you the motivation to get up and start a new day? I joined this forum because I feel alone and helpless. I have a wonderful husband and family, but I feel like no one else understands what it's like to be in constant pain. I never want to leave the house because the idea of too much walking scares me. It's hard enough to get up and go to work in the morning.

Welcome Chelsea to the chronic pain forum at HW! You will find most of us no matter how long we have been here came for the same reason as you, understanding CP, and stayed for the same support! Families and friends may be comforting but no one really knows what chronic pain living is like unless your the one living it. Many don't even have benefits of family who cares. Friends are one of the first things we tend to lose as we retreat more and more into the house. Nolonger able to hike, dance, jog or many other things that bring friends together.

CP is certainty life changing and although we all deal with those changes differently there are some things that help you adjust. I don't know what kinds of things your using to treat your CP nor your health issues that set you o on this path but having a good team of Dr's and therapists is tantamount! Finding all the things that work for you to bring those pain numbers down no matter how small the effects may be, changing the way we live and do things, not necessarily avoiding doing them but finding the right way to do them, doing the bigger tasks at your best part of the day and learning when those are.

These are not things that come instantly to you these are things that time living with chronic pain bestows upon you. For most a good therapist who specializes in CP was a Godsend since your mindset plays such an important role in quality of life.


You pick up many things here from those of us who have decades living with pain and there is no recipe for succeeding only steps a long the way to build a different life than your non cp one but c can be just as fulfilling and content.

So welcome to HW and stick around as we believe the support and experience is priceless in living with pain!

What gets me up in the morning is I love my job. Also if you sit around it can lead to depression, I've gone through this as well many years ago. Even on the weekends when I'm in pain I try to put it out of my mind so I can spend time with my family. I don't want my pain to hinder their life. That's what keeps me motivated, them. I hate what I'm going through but I try not to show it. If you have a strong mind you'll find the strength deep down to get things moving.

Hi Chelsea & welcome to the forum. Glad you found us but sorry you have to be here. You are in good company though, everyone here has CP issues of some sort.

My motivation is a 9 yr old grandson, he is my only grandchild. I spend a lot of time with him now that his mom has returned to work after a 9 yr hiatus. I pretty much had him over summer break & he & I stayed busy going places & doing different things. Now that he is back in school I pick him up & keep him till one of the parents gets home. He is my best medicine. Before I started doing this as of last April, I would make myself get out of the house & go places. It was real easy for me to tell myself just stay home. That was a bad habit for me because I have always been active. Its an easy trap to fall into. I had to tell myself you are going to hurt if you stay home or if you get out, so I chose to get out. This is exactly what I told my son & DIL when she went back to work in April. I was asked to temporarily pick him up for about a month after school. I kept on with it because I got to spend time with him.

You work so that does get you out of the house. But, you still need some out of the house time for you that is not work related. As Vickie said, unless you have chronic pain you have no idea what it is like living with it. Finding good drs is a huge part of it, not letting depression drag you into the pit, depression & CP go hand in hand, get the depression under control does help lower the pain somewhat, get professional help if you need it, never be shamed or embarrassed if you need some help, only the strong can survive this life, learn how to do usual things differently that works best for you, don't dwell on things you can no longer do, instead concentrate on the things you can do. Acceptance is a bitter pill to swallow but we can rebuild a different life style but it all takes time. It is a long process with grieving involved. Took a professional to explain that to me. Above all be kind to yourself.

Take care.

Hi ChelseaFootball and Welcome to the Forum, when your here on this forum you are part of our Chronic Pain Forum family, and this family you can count on understanding what your going through living with Chronic Pain! Your not alone when your here on this forum, we all know what it is like to live with chronic pain and we can definitely empathize with you!

One of the things that allot of people do when suffering with chronic pain, is withdraw from doing things, and being with people, i.e. allot of times that happens with friends and family, and that often tends to leads to problems. You know you are right,...... allot of times friends and family just cannot relate to what your going through living with chronic pain. But don't let that cause you to withdraw from them! We often lose friends and even family because we can not do the things with them that we used to. They give up on us, and drift away! That is just more of a reason to try to reach out to them, and the truly good friends that do try to understand, keep close as you can they are invaluable! Of course now that you have joined our forum, you can come here and talk about your pain problems, and even vent your frustrations about it, and you will have people here that will listen and care about you and what you say and feel! We all tend to help each other here on this forum! For some of us, this Chronic Pain forum family has helped us get through some very trying times, I know it sure has done that for me!

Again I Welcome You to the forum!

Share with us what you are comfortable with about your pain, and just know that we are all here for you!

White Beard

Chelsea,

I'm also relatively new and acclimating to having CP. I'm the one that went to the baseball game ;-) LOL and YES everyone here helped me get there.

I'm like you. I was incredibly active and I have three small kids. Now I dread walking a block, I can barely do it. It's awful. I am 38, and even though I'm 13 years older than you, I get the same response from doctors, that I'm "too young" to have these types of problems, therefore they're all in my head. If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that it is NOT all in my head.

As far as getting doctors to take you seriously, I wish I had a magic answer for you. The best advice I can give you is write down a list of your questions before hand, stick to that list and try to remain as unemotional as you can. This is easier said than done for me, but I've learned that doctors don't want to talk to you if you cry when you talk.

Quincy, one of our members, gives great advice on how to talk to doctors in neutral terms. Hopefully he'll be along shortly to help.

I'm so glad you found this forum, please stick around and let everyone here support you and help you.

Oh, I forgot one thing - and Vickie has referred to this as "chronic pain 101" - a journal.

Google "partners against pain" - the website has a bunch of templates to use for keeping track of your pain. It is very helpful in isolating patterns, triggers, etc., which will help not only you manage your pain better but can be very helpful for your doctor. Not that the doctor will read the whole thing, but it is always better to have more info than you need than to have less, right?

My heart really goes out to you.

Chelsea, I have a history of knee problems & 5 surgeries scattered about over the years. I learned from experience to get in with a dr that deals with knee issues only. If you can find one in sports medicine that is even better as Abilene suggested. There is a huge difference when seeing a dr that has one specialty. Has any dr done an MRI on your knee, if so what was the results?

Good luck with the new dr.

I will need to keep the emotional thing in mind at the doctor appointment. I haven't cried during an appointment, but I think my face shows that I am upset.

I actually hurt myself while working out, and it angers me that I did it to myself. I didn't have a moment where the pain suddenly started; it was more a slow onset (but I believe a high impact workout is what started it all).

I am seeing a orthopedic doctor who specializes in the knee, and it does say he does sports medicine when I look at his information online. I do have the mri/xray disc with the report to bring with me. The first doctor told me my mri was clean, and the second doctor told me that I have patella femoral syndrome. I hope this third doctor wants to do another mri though to see if things are getting worse or if the first mri missed something.

I wish this pain could all go away. My husband and I wanted to try to start trying to expand our family this Summer, but our plans are now at a halt. This constant pain is changing my entire life.

Post Edited (ChelseaFootball) : 10/7/2014 8:28:31 PM (GMT-6)

Chelsea,
Here's a non narcotic topical creme that is just magic for my arthritic knees, Diclofenac Sodium topical gel 1%. It has a strong ammonia smell to it that I kind of like. You put it on moist, don't rub it in dry, let it dry for fifteen minutes or so. It gives me 3-4 hours relief. The emo thing can be overdone of course but do let your Dr. Know that about putting off your second child. That will give him something to think about . . . Q