Newbie with Chronic Foot Pain

Hello everyone!

I decided it was time to reach out to others for some advice, comfort, and just so I don't feel so alone in the world with my pain. Here's my story:

Back in 2010, I was a runner. I loved running. It gave me such a wonderful high, and kept my depression and anxiety at bay. It seemed to solve all my problems and kept me healthy. I started having pain in my right foot that wouldn't go away. When it started to keep me from running, I sought the advice of a podiatrist who diagnosed me with Planter Fasciitis. I was prescribed rest, ice, warm water soaks, insoles for my shoes, and stretching. It worked for a little while, but the pain never truly went away.

Fast forward to 2014, after 2 rounds of injection therapy, steroidal anti inflammatorys that messed up my female cycle, tons of ibuprofen, resting, and no more running, I'm still in pain. I've gained weight, my mental state had declined, depression has become the norm. I had tried swimming, biking, all kinds of low impact things and they just didn't do it for me. My doctor says I'm a good candidate for surgery. I reluctantly agree, and in hind sight I should have looked elsewhere for second opinions. I went through with the planter fascia release procedure in March 2014.

My aftercare was poor. I know now that I should have been put in a boot, I should have rested, but I was told to walk in my shoes. So I did. Then the nerve pain started, and the numbness. My foot felt broken, and didn't move like it used too. My doctor tried two injections into the incision site to help break down scar tissue which did nothing but cause more numbness. Eventually when I ended up in his office yet again, he was almost angry at me, and wrote me a script for Hydrocodone, referred me to a pain management doctor and blew me off.

My pain management doctor recommended Physical Therapy, which I decided to do. I was doing it for 3 months, and it greatly helped my very stiff and painful foot. I was told I should have had it after surgery to keep my foot mobile and flexible, and to keep inflammatory tissue from building up.

The plateau inevitably happened in PT. I was still in pain. I had isophronesis done to help with inflammation, but didn't get much relief. I saw a new podiatrist who wasn't horribly friendly, but is of the opinion that I have nerve damage or compression, and instructed me to wear certain insoles, which I have been, but give me no relief. They are more supportive though. I'm not convinced that my nerves are the only issues, as I have pain in my whole foot when I walk. He said I would need more surgery. I'm sure I would have to go through a battery of diagnostics to find out the problem, and my medical bills are an issue.

I've been on narcotic painkillers and ibuprofen for several months now. I switch them around to keep the dosage down. I live in a sort of haze that painkillers give you, and the darkest most horrible bouts of depression I've ever had. I can't stand for too long, or walk to far. If I do, I pay dearly for it and end up in bed with ice and a TENS machine. I've gained a lot of weight, which doesn't help my foot I'm sure. But I'm one of those people who have always been slightly heavier, like my body wants to be fatter. Even when I was at my healthiest, I was still 20lbs over weight. But it depresses me, how I've become a lump of pain and misery.

I try very hard to keep hoping. I read a blog post about how we as chronic pain sufferers, feel we are not allowed to dream anymore. Our lives become our pain, and our brains devote so much run time to coping with pain. Every step I take is painful, and somedays it becomes too much to bear. There is also the guilt of having to rely on others, and not being as productive as we could be. Pain is a physical thing, but also so much a mental thing.

I still keep one of the shirts I wore for my first 5k by my bed. I hold it sometimes, and cry, and mourn the loss of my old self. I'm still very angry at my doctor for not caring much about my recovery after the surgery. I'm angry that I have to take two percoset so I can clean the house. I'm angry that I start so many projects and never finish them because that horrible self doubt creeps in and holds me back. I have not yet learned how to live this new life, and I flop around like a fish out of water, wishing I wasn't in pain anymore.

I know this is long, but it's been sitting and festering inside me for a while now, and it feels good to get it out. I've read a lot of stories here before deciding to join, and I know I'm not alone in the way I feel. Thank you for listening

Hi shortpotato,
This is not really too much of a long shot so give it some thought please. Are you familiar with what the fascis in your muscles is? when you are cutting up a roast, like a big chuck roast, you come across that silvery membrane which is the facial tissue. It helps the muscles slide along each other. There is a massage course called Rolfing that is designed for keeping that mechanism free. Fascitis is when that membrane gets bound up through inflammation, hence all those awful steroids. I don't know if it's to late to try but you might look up massage and find a qualified Rolfer. I had upper back problems that were strictly muscular and this treatment did me wonders. I hadn't gone so far as surgery though but it might still be worth a try . . . Q

Hello Shortpotato & welcome to the chronic pain forum. Glad you decided to join us, one thing we understand here is chronic pain & what it can do to a person.

Since you are new to the journey of living with chronic pain yes you will mourn the loss of many things as you move through the phases of living with pain. It is perfectly normal & ok to feel this way too. As I have said before mourning is not limited to dealing with death. Some of us have mourned the loss of our careers, financial security, the ability to do everything we use to do, loss of friends that we thought understood us & as you can see this list can get quite lengthy. One thing I would urge you to consider is getting professional help not only for the depression but in learning how to deal with chronic pain.

You can learn how to deal with & handle your pain so that you are not dwelling on it all the time. When we dwell on our pain it magnifies it, makes us feel like we will never be productive again & that is absolutely not true. Its also not good to stay in that place long either. You are still the same person inside but you have to learn how to do things differently. This is where a good therapist can help. This takes time & a lot of patience & work on your part. Finding a therapist that understands chronic pain & health issues is helpful. It is possible to rebuild your life, we can either move forward or stay in the dark places. I would much rather stay out of the dark places. Do I do every thing I want, no, but I am thankful to be able to do some things. I always try to remember when I start getting in a dark mood, there is always someone much worse off than me & guess what, its true.

I would have to think long & hard about more surgery on the foot at this point. Has any of the drs tried you on any of the medications used to treat nerve pain? Narcotics have little effect on true nerve pain. Nerve pain is a completely different animal to treat too. Yes, it is possible for the entire foot to hurt from nerve pain, the nerves are very tricky.

Hang in there & above all do not give up. You are still very much the same person, you just have some limitations right now.

Hi Shortpotato and welcome! I'm glad you found us, but sorry you had to look for us in the first place! Most of my pain issues are my arms but I do have back issues too. Can't imaging foot problems, I'm an absolute baby if I stub my toe!

Remember the old song..."The head bone's connected to the neck bone, etc"? Well, it's true. Just because you hear hoofbeats, don't assume it's horses. Get the spine checked out.

Last year I had horrible hip pain. I've had bursitis there since my 20's (I'm in my 50's now) but this was one hundred times worse and anti inflammatories weren't helping. Turns out the problem was that I had been wearing flip flops nearly every day! Changed my shoes and the pain in my hip went away. That old song is soooo true!

Not sure what kind of hiking trails they have where you are going, but surely there are some where you could walk more comfortably? There is also a scooter that you kneel your bad leg on and use the other to push you along. Easier to maneuver in stores and such, giving a person greater mobility.

Pain or no pain, life changes. It's hard when it's "in your face", but everyone goes through changes. That thought helped me greatly. Hope to see more from you!

Wow this has made my day, thank you everyone. I'm so glad I made the decision to post here. And yeah, I wish I didn't have too, but my support system kinda sucks and I feel like I need that extra bit of boost to help me get back on my...left foot, coz the other one hurts too much lol

I wear these insoles the new podiatrist told me about called Superfeet. They are very ridged, and although they have given me extra arch support, they are aggravating the crap out of my other foot. They have very little cushion and just hurt when I walk in them. So I put the old insole back in my left side (Sofsole Orthotic), and the superfeet insole in my right, as I need more arch support there. I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, but I feel the relief already.

I'm suppose to see the podiatrist in a month but I may go back sooner and see what he wants to do for diagnosis.

Oh, and I'm short potato because I've always been short and "apple" shaped, but I prefer a short potato lol

Melagain thank you for your reply.

I've discovered that, as you said, you need to find out whats worth the pain. Like I have a reserve of strength to cope with the pain, and I have to use it wisely. I've been kinda doing that without thinking about it, like saying to my husband "No I don't NEED to walk all the way across the hardware store just to look at some nonsense", because if I was well, I could do it no problem. But staring down 17 aisles for me is like walking a football field with rocks in your shoes. Even though I've been dealing with this for 5 years now, I never adjusted to it in that way, if you know what I mean. I was always promised that I would be out of pain, that it was fixable, these injections will work, this surgery will help, etc etc. I know NOW that that is a load of horse pucky, but as they say, hind sight is 20/20.

I've decided to head back to my new podiatrist and discuss the future. I would need a lot of diagnostics to figure out what the problem is, or if I have a problem at all and it's one of those mysterious shoulder shrugging situations. After a day like today, I almost want to say just cut the darn thing off and give me a fancy plastic one lol

I will try and do more healing things. It's easy to forget when you get mired in that icky darkness that settles in your mind sometimes. I definitely feel less alone than I did yesterday, so thank you all for your advice and support.

Pitmom you are right, each day is different. Yesterday was some sorta hell, today is not so bad and I managed to go out and shop a bit and clean house. But tomorrow? Who knows.

I'm headed back to the podiatrist tomorrow to discuss my options and what we need to do to figure out whats going on. I'm not too thrilled. But my options are running out, and my husband said we will do whatever needs to be done.

Thanks again everyone for being awesome

ShortPotato, you will never be alone again as long as you hang out here, lol. I do hope you can get back in with the new dr & who ever said have your back checked is so right. Take care.

Anabananna - I started crying at you mentioning my 5k shirt and your loss of running too. lol It's a Life is Good shirt with a little budding flower and simply says; Grow. And I do indeed clutch it like it belonged to someone who died, because in a way, they did. Running was everything for me, as you said. It was my therapy, it healed my mind so well and so completely. If I had something horrible festering in my brain, I'd run a couple miles and it all disappeared or worked itself out. I suffer from chronic depression, and my running days were some of the best, most happiest mental days of my life. I am bitter too, so, so bitter. I hate riding bikes because it's something I have to babysit, and it hurts my butt, and I have to keep putting air its stupid tires and try to put it on the stupid car rack and end up scratching your car, then you throw the stupid bike in the dirt along with the stupid bike rack and curse and throw a grown up tantrum because this isn't what you want to do but what your stupid doctors TOLD you to do INSTEAD. Running was so simple. Me and my shoes and the outdoors. In the cold, in the rain, I didn't care. I dream about it some nights, that beautiful freedom you feel when you are just running with all you have and all those wonderful chemicals are pumping, you can feel your body working like a well oiled machine. Now I can hardly even hobble around a grocery store. I'm amazed at how far we can fall, and then fall further still.

Dixie6- Thank you for sharing your story. It is scary making that appointment because you never quite know how the diagnosis is going to pan out. Foot pain is almost completely unavoidable unless you are in a wheel chair or crutches, so I understand. I'm glad you found relief (and you don't have bone cancer! how scary!)

I saw my podiatrist today who has given me a referral for an MRI, which I am having on the 8th. I will also ask about the back thing, which I forgot when I was there. I've read alot of stories of folks who have had foot pain stemming from their back. The nervous system is can be such a fickle thing.

I read something interesting. Some internet chap who is trying to help people with tendinitis and PF, and seriously talking smack about PF surgery, saying that the fascia is a bridge, and when you cut it, the bridge is weakened substantially, and WHY anyone would want to do that? And I agree, with my whole heart.

Thank you again everyone. I feel much better when I come and read stories & see so many suggestions and not the "Get over it" that I've seen in other places. No one knows someones pain until they live in. I'm glad I'm here, and I will keep you updated

dear all, i was born with hammer toes and wear special orthodics. i have found swimming to be my best therapy and need to move my feet to get good circulation there.

I also have an unstable ankle which means that I do not have a good range of motion in my left ankle.

i have a great podiatrist but i have found a lot of doctors to be very callous and mean about my foot problem.

i found a good ortho but can't afford to go now as it is 3 shots in the knee and would cost $85 a shot. Last year it was $20 a shot.

feel the system is rigged against me but what can you do.

best wishes all and short potato hoping there is an answer out there for you

Just a suggestion. Horses. Horses move with a similar gate to the human gate. Horses are used for therapy for people with balance issues and leg/foot issues. My sister had 5 horses that she would use to help children. You may wish to check it out. To be on a loping horse.......there is no other feeling quite like it, except maybe running yourself!

Hey,

I only recently started dealing with severe pain (about 3 months now), but it is in my left foot and lower left leg (and a little bit on the right side). I am a distance runner as well as someone who does yoga daily, martial arts, and hikes. For me, running is the only way to start a day.

I have totally different medical problems than you do, but I basically suffer from the loss of pretty much all the muscle in my left foot and lower left leg and then the loss of parts of my muscle on the right side. It feels like an elastic waistband that has lost the elasticity. Scary! I also have nerve damage. I am in pain 24 hours a day and had to re-learn how to walk. My foot was paralyzed until recently. It has been scary and so, so difficult. I do not know when I will be better or if I will ever be totally better. Physical therapy helps. As soon as I can handle it, I will be doing acupuncture weekly. I have found a combination of herbs and teas that help relax me, which is so important, as my body is so stressed all the time.

To the poster who suggested rolfing, this may be worth looking into. I do not now much about what you are going through, but rolfing is totally different than massage. The key is finding someone who is qualified. Look into it!

It is HARD being in howling pain all the time. Sometimes I cannot even read or watch a movie. But you have to try. Talk on the phone. Surround yourself by people who care. Make small goals. I like drinking tea around 4 PM everyday. It is a mundane task, but I look forward to it.

You will learn how to manage it better and it will get easier. The pain might continue, but the day to day is temporary! I am sorry to hear what you are going through and wish you the best!