wanting to reply/support others

Hi Everyone

Hope you all are doing as well as can be. Just had to let you know I am thinking of all of you I am struggling so badly mentally right now as well as physically. This post is not to get support or try to get sympathy but rather to let you all know I am thinking of you and there are so many posts I want to reply to, whether to empathize with, support, or just give well wishes and hugs and support.

I just don't have it in me to reply to so many deep messages. My heart goes out to all of you. I am going to begin by trying either 1 message a day or a few very short responses to a few messages. I just feel overwhelmed with wanting to help and offer support, as I have been given here.

I am seeing a psychiatrist, who I have worked with for 13 years, and I have a therapist I see 2x per week. It's just not working. With all the medical stuff, meds not absorbing and not working for me, and very severe depression, I'm doing all I can to stay afloat. Looking into possible hospitalization--but how do i go into a hospital when I have medical tests and appts that i have waited months for? Medical issues that have to be figured out/solved asap? My hospital doesn't have an on-site psych facility, I would have to go about 30 miles away to a place associated w/ them, but wouldn't be able to see my docs. Just can't do it.

So for now, i will keep pushing. keep fighting. some days i don't get out of bed, well except to move to the couch. will only go inpatient if my psychiatrist really pushes it. I see her Tues. I need help. Been counting the times at night when the train goes by near my house--not a good sign if you know what i mean.

Been shutting others out of my life--see a few here and there but keep talk on the surface and never let on what's really going on.

Ok, time to shut up.

Hoping to be back soon mentally to "talk" to you all.

My thoughts and prayers are very much with you all.


Thanks for understanding and listening,


Sunny.

Hi Sunny! It's nice to know you think of us and want to 'give back'. Getting outside of ourselves and realizing we are not the only ones going through hard times is such a helpful realization. Sometimes, when I look at the list of posts, and see ones that only have one or two replies, those are the ones I am drawn to. Even if I have no experience with the topic, just letting someone know that they were 'heard' can make a big difference to them.

I've been putting off seeing my PM doc, waiting until after my daughter sees the specialists for her Cushing's Disease. I need to make sure I am able to drive! We are both anxious about it all. I've been told there are new treatments available, so maybe she won't have to undergo brain surgery to remove the tumor on her pituitary gland.

Prioritizing between our own health issues and our children's, or between our physical health and our mental health is not an easy choice. Perhaps getting the physical dealt with will ease the mental aspect.

Hi Sunny, you made the first step just by posting. You have been through a lot recently so I m not surprised at all about the depression setting in. Cut yourself some slack, take a minute at a time if you have to. I remember a few weeks ago you took a short walk & really enjoyed it. If you have a place at your apt to sit outside a couple minutes a day try that it will help lift your spirits.

If it comes down to having to go inpatient a few days, go for it. The sooner you can get the depression under better control the easier it will be for the physical stuff to heal.

Keep us posted.

Hello?