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Isolation from chronic illness

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Posted 8/15/2018 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
I am reaching out as a new member. I see myself in some posts and it comforts and saddens me at the same time. Torture is so cruel, and when it's your body that is doing the deed, how do you make it go away? Go to the doctor, one thinks...sometimes that works out and sometimes one comes out crying. That someone being me. I am 65, a former English teacher, who was a roadrunner, moving 90 miles an hour to get things done. Always loved work and was a very social person. Now, after 20 years of battling multiple chronic illnesses, I am weary, sad and lonely. I am reaching out to all of you that might read this. Surely there are people out there like me that have no family or friends that have time for them now that life is not the same. I want a roommate who is dealing with some of the same issues so that we can be of support to each other. The isolation is in itself cruel. I have a bit of life left and would give anything to have a trusted friend under the same roof, so that we might be of assistance and comfort to one another during the rough patches. Is this something that is possible?
Posted 8/15/2018 11:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, Deedee nice to meet you. I am sorry you are having such a tough time. Hopefully you can find some support here. I am wondering if some of the meds you are prescribed might be adding to your sadness. Some of them do that. Or if maybe the depression many of us feel is an issue that can be helped along with the treatment for your illnesses. Not to say the conditions are not enough to depress us, they sure are. But depression can be helped. In any case I am happy to meet you and wanted to say hi.
Posted 8/15/2018 12:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Deedee & welcome to Healing Well. Isolation is often what I consider a side effect with any chronic illness. It is easy to slip into that mode when a person doesn't feel well. I push myself to not sit in the house, I will get out & if nothing else go to some type of a store & walk around. This gets me out & around people. More often than not someone will speak to me. I keep my grandson a lot which also helps keep me going. He is starting back to school today so I will not have him around as much. Try going to a coffee shop, go to a park, check out your local senior centers, just anything to get you out of the house. I like being outside & getting in the sunshine. I too am a senior. I try to look for ways to distract myself.

Take care.
Posted 8/16/2018 4:24 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome deedee~

I too am a senior and even with my husband and 2 fun dogs I still feel lonely. He's puttering around doing this and that and all I feel like doing is sitting and reading. I do basic household chores but I don't feel like I interacting with anyone but the dogs. This is one of the reasons I came back to moderate again here at HW. There are always people you can communicate with who understand but it doesn't take the place of someone being there in person.

I too was a teacher and my doctor finally said "enough" and I had to stop. It's been years but I still miss it every day. I did my own thing with my students and had some good friends who were fellow teachers but since I've been home either I don't hear from anyone or they've passed away.

I would think there would be a support group in your area for conditions you have. Your doctor or closest hospital should know. Also, like suggested, try your local senior center. Your doctor should also be helping you with pain management or referring you to a PM clinic/doctor. You should not have to suffer this much. There are good medications that are safe to use and you deserve respect and good medical care.

Warm hugs,
Chutz
Posted 8/16/2018 5:44 AM (GMT 0)
Hi deedee65 and Welcome to the forum, I like allot of the others here on this forum know exactly what your going through! Most of us ( people experiencing chronic pain) tend to isolate ourselves, (others as in friends and family and sometimes even loved ones just don't understand what living with chronic pain is like and thus can't relate to us any more) and thus we with draw even more!!! Which is really the worse thing we can do ! But I just think it is just a part of human nature as most of us all do it!! I know I did!!! This forum ( the fine folks on it) was a real Godsend to me!! (I owe a special Thanks to moderator Chutz for introducing me to this website and forum so many years ago and I'm so HAPPY to see her back posting)!!! deedee65 your really not alone with your pain when your on this forum, you have all of us here who can relate and empathize with you!

Being alone can make your pain seem many time worse and often depression is pains favorite companion! From one that knows Please do your best to force yourself to get out and do things and make new friends and break away from your isolation. I definitely think coming here to this forum is a gigantic step forward in that direction! I hope you can find the help, friendship and compassionate understanding that I have from all the fantastic people on this furum!!!

Again I Welcome you to HealingWell Chronic Pain Forum.!

I wish you well.......White Beard
Posted 8/16/2018 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi deedee. Here in NJ there is a program called Home Share. It's sort of a matchmaking service for people looking for room mates. A neighbor of mine was 'older' and starting to have health issues. They found him a roommate a bit younger who agreed to help with light housework, meals etc. in exchange for a lesser rent expense. Maybe see if there is such a program near you.
Posted 8/19/2018 6:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi DeeDee:
Have you considered and moving to an adult community (usually 55 years of age and older) that offers a continuum of care? Adult communities are usually all-inclusive properties under ownership of a national/publically held management company that offer independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing, and memory care. Activities and opportunities for learning, outings, daily meals, weekly housekeeping are provided.

As families become more dispersed and distant, adult communities offer a living environment that allows for aging in place.

Due diligence in studying the parent company, its financing solvency, track record, staffing levels, and any known state violations is important.

For many people, adult communities provide for a vibrant and enriched aging experience.
Karen
Posted 8/24/2018 5:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Deedee,
I understand your situation completely. I used to be a fit, active scientist and had to go on early disability retirement. I feel lonely even in a room full of people as I battle my pain and realize that I no longer have anything in common with most people. And so much more that I am sure you would understand.

Here’s a suggestion; start a support group for people with chronic illness and pain. There are groups that will even train you (such as the US Pain Foundation). I started a faith-based group in my church. We have about a dozen people who attend. We understand each other, help each other, encourage one another, and figure out mechanisms for coping. Helping others helps you.

We can’t let ourselves give up. We still have purpose, even in our broken state. Wishing you the best.
TN
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