Living in pain and off work with kids

Hello Dictionary:

I just read your post and just thought I would chime in and lend my 2 cent's ( probably all it is worth LOL)

stop beating up on yourself my friend their are some things in life inwhich we as humans have little to NO control over

accidents and consuming terrible diseases are certainly one. of them all we can do is trust the Doctors knowledge and do what they reccomend and demand proper and humane pain control and continue continuing on with life the best we can with what we have

I'am certain that having your kids see you suffering is hard on them as it is hard on anyone we care about suffering but I would think that them seeing you cope with this pain on a hourly bases shows your stregnth of character in such adversity and nothing more and about be lazy man disability physically limite's us that is why they call it a DIS ability not a ability

Believe me I know how when our bodies turn on us and make us suffer most of us living with chronic daily pain all know this You are not lazy buddy and neither am I or the rest of us and if anyone passes judgement and say s or thinks that they are just mis informed or ignorant and who care s what they say or think and they would change their tune if anything happened to them

So their you go my 2 cents

Bob

Welcome Dictionary: I too would like to welcome you to the place. I know exactly how you feel! When I became unable to work I had two kids still in college and one in middle school. One has since graduated from college. All my life I was a very active and physical person but that was not only taken from me, it was taken from my family as well. The days of hiking and wadding streams fly fishing are over. But you know what? I am still me who still loves his family and my family still loves me. We are just at a different stage in our lives. The crisis over me being on extreme pain killers was the hardest for my family to deal with. All of us here were really ignorant about chronic pain and pain control. There is a definite stigma when it comes to taking pain drugs which is sadly well founded in many cases. I am sure your kids remember the old you. I however got to do much more with my older two. We have to learn to adapt to our new way of life and make the very best of it. Read Romans 8:28, I believe it with all my heart. There are many things we can no longer do but there are also many thing we can still do. Some may even be new. When days are good make the best of it. I do things that I know I will pay for it but it is always worth it. When your kids see you doing the very best you can it will motivate them to do and to be very best they can. One of mine has even changed his future plans of being a design engineer to an orthopedic surgeon. Don't let this get you down! I know this can be an almost overwhelming feeliing at times but we have to make the decision to snap out of it. Many times when I wake up I can go either way. Not dwelling on the past but concentrating on the positives and the possibilities for the future usualy snap me out of it. I have made many new friends since my injury. If I don't show up at the gym or wherever, they call and check on me. Gotta go, time to eat. I love pot roast. I've rambled long enough anyway. Have a Blessed Day!

Hi and welcome!

Since you obviously have a computer you can do a lot with those kids...and yourself. Online classes are available at all community colleges and other institutions. You can show them ideas for careers. Instead of the TV try your computer to broaden your and their worlds.

You could also get them to the local library. Get THEM to volunteer somewhere. That's one of the best ways for kids to get involved in something...anything. I know parents who insist that their teens volunteer for at least one year and it made a huge positive impact on them. Also remember that your attitude and interest will make a huge impression on them.

Keep in touch,
Chutz

Hi Dictionary and Welcome,

Please listen to what the guys have posted here. When you begin to feel the slip creeping back in, come back here and read their  posts again.

Although my children are grown and gone from home they worry just the same. We were very active with the kids, going on vacations together even tho grown (Mom & Dad always footed the bill,lol) we took them places they had never been before and such. We did a trendous amt of rving and camping, we were like gypsys on the weekends, lol.

I have been battling cp for yrs but the past five yrs knocked me to the ground and I did good to belly crawl. I ended up having to go on a antidepressant and that was the best thing I could have done. I also saw a very physchologist who dealt with cp and autoimmune diseases. She was realy good for me. Our ins changed and mental health is no longer offered, otherwise I would still be camped at her door every week.

I have to ask if your pain is under control or not. My pain dr says its very important for us to be able to get up and be mobile, not laying in a bed or chair. Once we got my pain under control I was able to get up. I don't enter marathons, but I get up and on days when it creeps in stay in bed, I force myself to get up. I am always better overall when I do.

As far as your boys are concerned, if you have not sat them down and talked about your situation, now is the time to do it, don't delay. They are old enough now to understand what you are teling them. But, they really are owed an explanation, otherwise they may think this is how they are supose to act as an adult. Also, since you don't help your wife, they may grow up thinking they are not suppose to help a woman either.

Try to think of some small things you can do to help get some of the burden off of the wife. Run the dishwasher then un load it, there really are lots of little things around the house you could probably do. Have your wife sort the laundry and try to do a load here & there. The other day it took me 5 hrs to clean a b/r cause I had to keep resting. I felt so good about myself when I finished it too. Any small task I finish is a great mind booster for me.

You hang in there and know you are not alone and we are always here for you. Susie