PALady, thank you SO much! You don't understand, or maybe you do, just someone to give a little guidance that has been through so much as yourself, really, really helps! Thank you!
Well, Dragoness Warrior, I kind of got that from the fact that I love my protectors, the Dragons, and I have always been a fighter!! LOL! So, yes, I felt this more emotionally, especially after it happened, because I had ALWAYS since a very young child, very active! Even my father was a champion weightlifter, racecar driver, and sports affiliated too, I followed right in his footsteps! I developed even more anxiety, which I have had under control, thinking positively, making sure I don't have those worthless thoughts about myself, it takes a lot, but it means a LOT to be positive, you have to KNOW that you are going to get better, screw that the doctors told you you'll never be 100%, I'll take 99, that's fine with me!! LOL! But I don't want to see myself as a young cripple, or even an old one at that, I swore to myself, that would never happen, and I'm doing what I can not to be that old/young cripple!
I don't like the fact that my muscles are flabby now, I have a pot belly that I never had before, and I can't exercise at all! I've tried, believe me, I've tried!!
Now you've had a fusion, I'm happy for you, as long as you're happy! But what I was wondering, is how is the back pain, I know it didn't do much for the nerves, but sometimes a little is worth more? I have talked with docs about that, but they say that it lasts maybe 10 years and it's permanant, whereas the artificial disc isn't. My life is so up in the air, I just want to be informed before my doc suggests something! But I'm really optimistic about tomorrow, just nervous, but again, I will definitely let you all know!
I can't go to a teaching hosp because they won't see me with a case! I don't want to get into that, as I'm sure you understand, but I just don't like that docs, taking the hipocratic oath, decide that they don't want to help you because they COULD be supeonaed (sp?). I understand that it takes from their other patients, but there are now ways around that, such as a video deposition on the docs part, has anyone been through that before where the doc refuses to even consult you because of that?
Thank you again PALady, your kindness is very much appreciated!! I live in PA too! LOL! Thank you and I wish you and everyone a lot of luck, mainly to be painfree, I think that's our ultimate goal together!! Thank you, everyone!! Good luck to you all!