You have done a tremendous job of being strong and following thru with your plan but remember always he is still the same old person who just a short while ago was treating you like crap. They always make an attempt to "change" their stripes in the face of losing their meal ticket. I have been a domestic violence counselor for many years and I can honestly say I have not once sen these changes last forever with these guys.
You and your cat have been abused in many ways for many years and the scars will take alifetime to heal but they will lessen and it seems your self esteem is already rebuilding itself.
I hope you make a plan and put into action a safety plan even if you think it isnt needed what can it hurt?
Here are some examples of what I mean. As soon as he leaves change all locks to all doors including your car! Dont rely on his giving you all his keys. The local police department can help you initiate a safety plan and will even come out to your house and give you tips as to the weak places of entry and how you can reinforce them cheaply or at no cost.
If you dont have a cell phone get one if possible and if not your local DVC can provide a 911 cell phone for you. Dont rely on your landbase phone in an emergency.
Ask the police department for a EPO or DVO whichever is available in your state and please do this as it makes the response of the authorities much more speedy if the are aware of the potential risk or threat to you. I know alot of this is going to soumd harsh considering that right now is being agreeable with your terms but sweety zebra's do NOT change their stripes.
Dont let him catch you alone and vulnerable at any given time or place. While he is out of town is a perfect time to implement all of these plans as it seems they more they know your trying to protect yourself the madder they get about it.
You all have been together a very long time and that means he knows how to get to you and what will get to you. He knows your schedule and exactly how your time is spent.
Make arrangements with the phone company to change your number shortly after he leaves and make sure it remains unlisted. They are really really good at calling you up and playing on your emotions and weaselling their way back in.
Keep a close eye on your cat and try if possible to keep it indoors for ahile since this seems to be an object of disourse with him. It is not at all odd for these guys to hurt you by getting to your pet.
If you need help for awhile or just dont feel safe alone for awhile contact an employement agency or college work study program as they have screened applicants that can be hired to assit you and some colleges even have programs to place some of these folks in your home as a "live in" to help clean and cook and assist with chores in exchange for room and board. I have a very close friend whom did this and she got one of the sweetest girls moved into her home and they hit it off great! That college girl is now a grad student still rooming with my friend and they are really close friends as well. It was a Godsend for her and the student says she has truly been blessed by my friends generosity thru the years and that she made college a reality for her when other wise she would not have been able to get her education at all most likley. It definatley was a blessing in disguise for both of them.
It would be wonderful if you could find someone like this to be your friend as well as help you while you would be helping them. With the cost of college escalating each year so many young folks need mentors and a helping hand to make those dreams a reality and it worked out for both of them maybe it could work for you as well and you wouldnt have to be alone all the time.
Just an idea for you to think about.
This is a lot to process in a short period of time but you have come so far I want you to succeed without worries standing in your way and with as little stress as possible.
Keep the strength and know that when you get this person really and truly out of your life as well as your door great things may be waiting for you!