They think I'm an addict!

Pamela,
My best advice would be to accept that they won't understand and change the subject. Right now you're under enough stress. At a later time if you want to give some of them information to read - and only the ones who you think will truly consider it - you can do it. Right now, focus on your health and your husband. Tell them you don't want to talk about it right now!

PaLady

And once you're no longer under such stress, and you're ready to make your point very clear...

Every time you spend time with them, near the beginning, start singing "The wheels on the bus" or the Barney song or the Juicy Fruit gum jingle - or any other really annoying tune that you can get "stuck" in their head for the day. Any time they're about to do something enjoyable, quietly hum the same tune. In the middle of conversations, throughout meals, at interesting points in movies, and other random times - just hum it quietly, and make sure you're close enough for them to hear it, but not so loudly that you look like an ass.

When they finally get irritated enough to ask you to knock it off, ask them how they'd feel if that "tune" were pain and someone suggested they were less of a person for doing the only thing that would stop the singing.

 

Bionic, what an idea! I have used other analogies, but that one is beautiful.  I can't wait to try it. Thanks

Pamela, I'm sorry you have family that is not supportive, but I have the same thing with my husbands family.  In fact they have told him that he should leave me because he could do better.  They had spent time with us and felt that I wasn't as bad as I say, when I was trying so hard to not let it show so they had a good time when they were here.  Gotta love family!

Melissa

Pam, this subject makes my blood boil even now a few yrs later. When I first started having the severe pain again I was sent to my pain dr. I have a terrible time tolerating any type of medication, not just pain meds. I once became toxic on blood pressure medication and spent 2 weeks in the hospital. To make a long story short I was put on opiods and of course was having all kinds of problems with each & every one. My husband decided I was an addict and took it upon himself to call my daughter and son to let hem know he was having all kinds of problems with me because I was an addict from pain pills. Now keep in mind that not one time had he ever gone to the dr with me, not one time asked what the dr said was wrong with me, he did not want to know. Oh almost forgot, he also told them I was blowing all my money. Yeah right, I am on SS and have so much to blow.

My son is a very anti medication person simply because he does not like to take pills. Also, coming from my husband this had to be true. Although, my son had no idea what was going on with me. My son came to my house one Sat morning and he was so hateful to me, I finally looked at him and said I do not know what is going on with you, but you will not come to my house and speak to me hatefully like you are now, in fact you need to leave. When you think you can be civil with me, then you may come back. He stomped out of the back gate-he had never been told to leave before. Not long, here he comes back in the gate, I was sitting on the patio and he blurted out what my husband called and told him. I told him I said hold on, I am going to kill 2 birds with one stone. I told him I was going to bring his Dad in on this.

To make a long story short I set both of them straight real quick and I mean I cut to the bone. I told each of them if they had a question about me to ask me. I told my son right in front of his Dad, that his Dad is ignorant to any of my health problems because his Dad was not interested in my problems, I mean I did not leave a rock unturned. By time I got done with them, my son looked at his Dad and told him how disgusted and disappointed in him he was for lying about his Mom. My husband pretty much raised my son. Very good dad to my kids, lousy husband. His problem was he had health issues for quite a while and everyone always paid alot of attention to him. well, all of a sudden I am sick and he was no longer in the spotlight and he was down right jealous, which is totally absurb, but he really was. Oh, I told him this in front of my son. After this no more crap from any of them. My daughter was not a problem because she knew the trouble I was having with meds.

All I can say Pam is do not let them get to you, its hard I know. Consider the source and the ignorance involved here. You know about your illness and so does your husband and no one else counts. In fact honey, its none of their business. I would not let them engage me in any conversation about your medical issues. Tell them that subject is off limits and walk away. You could talk and explain all day long and they still would not get it. They are not wortg your breath. I agree with who ever said hum the Barney song.lol

Hope you are feeling better. Hugs, Susie

At 4 AM I awaked (demon pain, of course) I came in here and read Bionic
Woman. Totally creative. Fun. I have decided on the Barney Song, Bionic. I
will start if this subject ever ever comes up with those folks again again. It's Perfect.
The thing that is so disturbing to me is that these folks are good Christians.
They built the church even! My pain seems to conflict with their religion. Odd.

I read everybody's posts and felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I guess not "fuzzy"
Feeling fuzzy might not be too good. Warm works.

Thanx all. I laughed & cried my way through the posts. What a surprise!

Pamela .