Scarred

Hey Kara. Nope doc didn't increase my pain meds or my sleeping meds. She said that under the circumstances there really was nothing that was going to help right now with easing any of my pain or the insomnia that has plagued me for the last two months. I agree because the pain that I am experiencing is so deep that the pain meds are not able to reach so really unless WC says its a go with the Stimulator we are basically at a standstill with anything right now until I can get an attorney to get them to see it my way. So this is exactly or kinda what the plan is except for including many letters to a bunch of senators in WY that are in charge of revamping the WC system. I see doc at the end of Feb so hopefully by then we will know what they are going to do from there.

Anyway, I do appreciate all your thoughts Kara. It's been such a tough week for me not only with my pain but I lost my dad this past week and had to return to Wyoming and see to his funeral as well as say my Goodbyes. Toughest thing I've ever had to do. Now I have a mom and her and I are not very close. I try to get close and she pushes me away. preferring the youngest over me. But hey this has been my cross to bear for the past 30 some years and I have learned to deal.

Anyway...wishing you a lessened pain day kara...hugsssssssssssssssssssss

Scarred

Mom........After 45 years I've learned that both of my parents (even though each said that they did not play favorites) have done exactly this as well. My dad it was the oldest child my brother. My mom its the baby daughter. 36 years has seasoned me for this role as the middle child....the disappointment, the one that marched to the beat of her own drum and the one that quite frankly really did not care which parent spent the most money after the divorce loved them both equally. Not only did this get me shunned from the family but it also got me tossed from (apparently) the wills of my parents. Does it matter to me?? Not in the least. I would rather each did what they wished with their own money then to see us kids fight over it and end up not speaking for the rest of our lives. I'd give it all up for one more excellent day with my pops out on the lake fishing.

I've told my brother and my sister that money......valuables......inheritances....and the lot be darned I will not fight over any of it with them and risk losing my family over such trivial things because we couldn't act like adults about things and come to a reasonable settlement. If my brother wants it all because he feels that he took care of dad for the last 10 years and it is "Owed" to him then so be it but what comes around goes around and some day he will have to answer for this. It's been rumored that my dad felt in the last days that my baby sister was not his.....wanna tell me how you can destroy a 38 year old by telling her that her dad is not her dad after 38 years? I've been lied too so many times in the last 45 years that I don't know what to believe anymore. It's just tooo difficult and too painful to hold against a family that I love so dearly and I want to let it go and salvage what is left of my pride in my family and go on from here. I have on parent left....my mom. She means everything to me and I can't imagine life without her. So to hell with the past...its time to bury the past where it belongs and move on.

hugssss

Scarred

P.S. Sorry if I sound like I am rambling its 3:24am and I am really tired

Oh ... I wish it was morning. I hate being up all night. It's so dark.