Are there others like me?

Pain is part of my identity. It is a part of who I am. It is a means by which I can identify myself. So what happens when the pain goes away? What happens when the pain is no more? How can I possibly be me without my pain? I am no longer scared of my pain, but of not having pain. I fear the day that I can no longer feel it. For all I know, the pain has disappeared. Sometimes I do believe that it is gone. My mind has made the pain continue or even worse, I know that the pain is gone, but I don’t want to acknowledge that it no longer exists. I want it to stay because I don’t know who I am without it. Am I the only person who feels this way? What do I do from here? Do I lie to myself? I am scared of change and facing who I am now.

You do exactly what you've always wanted to do with your life. Go running in the morning, work out, go hiking, go to school again.

Chiari,

I disagree w/ "Requiem_aeternam" saying to get off the pain forums. Yes, you need to live. Of course! But it sounds like you are searching to find your new identity.

If all of a sudden - my pain issues left - yes, I'd be bouncing off the walls. But it's now been something I've accepted and it HAS become a part of my identity for the past 8+ years. It would take some time to learn the "new" me.... just like w/ any changes.

As Susie/Straydog said - you never said what your pain was and what has given you relief. Is this a permanent situation?? (I hope so!). And I'm w/ her - maybe some professional counseling to "reintroduce" you to the new you would be a good thing.

If my pain and health issues left today (and I have progressive stuff - so it's probably not going to happen, barring a miracle).... I KNOW what I'd do. I would do all the things w/ my kids that my health prevents me from doing. I'd return to my hobbies - scrapbooking, painting, crafts, etc. I'd return to volunteering in Children's Ministries at church where I used to have a part-time job.

That doesn't mean I'd leave this board. I'd still support those I love her and that are still struggling. I feel that I've gone through the things I've gone through in order to help others.

But what it really sounds like is you need to get to know the "new" you.

Any other info you want to share would be great... and might help us to understand things better. But if you are feeling better - that is awesome and I'm truly VERY happy for you.

--Tina