I am new I just found this website and I am in a downward spiral! In 2001 I was pregnant and we lived in CA. My husband had been deployed for my entire pregnancy and I stayed in CA worked full time and took care of our 3 year son. I was 36 weeks pregnant and my husband was coming home for 1 week and then leaving again for 4 months. I took our 3 year to the airport to meet our surprise guest and when we got to the gate I felt the worst pain in the world rip across my back. After falling and then crawling to a chair dragging my 3 year old with me I managed to stay
conscious and tell someone my name, my husbands name and beg them not to let anyone take my son. With in a short amount of time I had a ER c-section and the dr's found a lot of blood with out diagnosing it they sent me to recovery where I went into a full code blue. I was given my last rites and as a last ditch effort a 3rd year resident responded to the code and did a ER thoracotomy which bought him time to find the source of the bleeding he then performed a distal pancreatectomy and splenectomy. I received over 34 units of blood and contracted MRSA. I had suffered a ruptured splenic artery aneurysm. My baby and I were the 14th known woman and baby to have survived as of 2001. It was horrible, the last 10 years have been a struggle. Yes I am alive but I suffer from severe post thoracotomy syndrome.
I have a ton of stomach issues caused by the abdominal surgeries,
adhesion's and scaring and side effects from my med's. I suffer from severe PTSD and anxiety which happens when you die and are brought back
especially during child birth. I tried everything before giving in to pain medications but I finally gave in. We tried steroid shots, epidurals considered heat ablation and cryo surgery any and everything was considered also going back in shaving down the ribs that are affected and-or putting in a replacement cartiledge. I have been on a alot of pain med's and am now on 4 mg Hydromorphone, 100 mg Fentanyl patch changed every 48 hours and 600 mg Actiq
lozenges. I take Zanaflex,
Promtethazine 450 Welbutrin, use Lidoderm patches and take Xanax. I also must use Nulev for colon spasms and on and on...............I am 42 years old and just tired to complicate issues we have also have a baby boy who will be 1 next week. I know die during child birth and have a baby but I did not find out I was pregnant until I was over 20 weeks. Every doctor told me to terminate, I was told I was selfish, I was told prepare to die, I was told to say good bye to my sons etc. I understand it was a horrible situation to be in but I was 41 years old and had been told I needed a hysterectomy and I was in early menopause. I was hysterical, I was in shock, I did not know every day I am so bloated I look 3 months pregnant. To be what a cruel trick to be pregnant when I had died the last time. It is no excuse I take and took fuly responsibility of being 5 months pregnant with no pre natal care and on a lot of medications that could harm the baby. But I could not bring myself to take his life when mine had been spared. I could not do it. I cut back on every medication and as they predicted the pain of the growing baby against my ribs was beyong excrutiating but I had brought this on myself I had not been careful and I had to suffer for his little life. Luckily he is ok, he was born 5 weeks early. My placenta abrupted and after another 911 call and er
c-section he was able to come home last Christmas Eve. Once I found competent ob's at UNC Chapel Hill and wrote my older son's letters about
my wishes for them and my love I left it in God's hands and he saw us through even though the birth was like a cruel trick playing out again. It has been hard and no one unless they suffer from chronic pain will ever get it. Do I like taking so much medicine heck no but it gets me through the day. I post today because I wanted to reach out to others who are like me who get it. I also need advice. I have been on disability first short term then long term since may 2001. The Hartford made me apply for SSI to offset their payments and I did and have been receiving them for 7 plus years. Every year the Hartford has me update my status and I have to have my doctor's update paperwork. I thought I was being followed about
a few weeks ago and told my psychiatrist about
it. My reviews have never been an issue until I week ago I received a call from a investigator who told me he works for the Hartford and want to come to my house to "interview me". That
automatically worried me because they have never done that. I called them and they said it was just a tool they use. I have researched this for 1 week and every article or website mostly attorneys tell me NOT to meet with this investigator that his job is to come into my home and use everything against me and misconstrue my words. I was told he will probably pull out a dvd of me from their survelliance to put me on the spot. The investigator called again yesterday and I told him I needed some time to arrange to have my husband with me because he had to get the time from work. I know I won't be able to hold him off for long or they could use this as a excuse to cut me off. I have spoken to a few attorney's who say they will take the case but they are so expensive. I don't know what to do I do think I made a mistake filling out my paperwork
because I didn't say my worst day or bad days they are all bad or hard. The insurance companies don't see to get through even normal activity takes a lot of will power, strength and medications that leave me wiped out and in bed for days afterward. They will never get it so I did not say that on my forms. What do I do does anyone have any advice or experience. Words or
encouragement, insight or thoughts about
any of this. I live for my boys there laughs and smiles have kept me alive and at times pulled me out of the deepest of depression. It is a daily struggle as you all know and I am scared. I have lived with this for 10 1/2 years alone accept for a good psychiatrist to talk to. I have been so alone,, even when pregnant here I had another little body in me but I was so very alone. Thank you for letting me post and to get this out. My husband went ahead and retired from the Marine Corp after 22 years in part because he needed to be here to help care for us. We are no more hurt nor diserving than anyone else but I have a feeling and the attorneys I spoke with agreed the Hartford is trying to cut off my benefits or send me to work. Should we try and fight them even though they will never understand "pushing through the pain", wanting to be normal and to live, being a mother and trying at times to give our boys moments they will remember over mommy shut away in her room full of medicines. Thank you for letting me post and to get this out.