Posted 8/1/2012 7:24 AM (GMT 0)
T minus 35 days to surgery, and in my opinion, not soon enough (see if I'll be saying the same thing afterwards). I made a quick trip to home depot to get a nightlight for my son ( it seems that he's made up his little two year old mind that he does not like the dark), and a trip with my sis-in-law to the grocery store. Out of the house for maybe an hour total.
I don't think there's any amount of medication in the world that could account for how bad my back is hurting tonight. My PCP gave me a number to call in the middle of the night in case I had problems, called that, shocked to find out it's his personal cellphone number, he told me to skip my next dose of Nucynta, and take a full percocet, did that, called him back an hour later still in just in mind blowing, tear jerking, hit you with a peterbuilt pain, he told me to take another, did that an hour ago, and it still has yet to phase it.
My wonderful SIL has been bringing me ice packs every 45 minutes for the last six hours, plus the percocet, and a couple of different creams they prescribed me, just laying here wishing a zombie apocalypse would happen already. Five months ago, I was climbing 85ft to 390ft towers multiple times per day, walking at least a couple miles at work, then running two with my son in his stroller at home, and an active officer in the Masonic lodge, now Im making pennies on WC, my son cries at me half the day because I can't pick him up, I'm in my brother's spare bedroom, and just trying to chew yogurt resonates down my back and through my legs.
Looking into the cost of a walker now because I'm getting too unstable on a cane, I just bought the cane a month ago (had to go with the black cane with the flames, House fans know which one I'm talking about) and I've already worn the rubberd tip down to bare wood.
Sorry for venting, seems like typing it out helped for a few seconds, my brother keeps telling me to quite my ... well I'll say crying but the word he uses is a little more inappropriate, and my dad keeps saying the same thing. Not that they've ever been in a position to know what it's like to have their spinal cords crushed down by over half, but it just keeps wearing on me, like they think they're stronger, or could handle it any better. My son doesn't understand, and watching his little heart break evertime he wants up in my lap is enough to bring me to tears, sometimes I can handle it for a few minutes if he sits very still, but most of the time not. I let him climb up yesterday for a few minutes and he jjst held on like it was never gonna happen again.
Something has to change, I dont think I'm gonna be going out of the house anymore before surgery if this is going to be the result. I dont want to be on any stronger meds, bht if this doesn't go away, I'm gonna have to do something. Time for another ice pack. I think its gonna be a long night.