Posted 8/23/2012 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Great story indeed!
I have a 2 daughters and a pregnant wife at home. I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old (the third is another girl due in December.) The 3 year old is a blast and generally can be reasoned with. I find the younger ones have a hard time until they can talk. My 2 year old is just starting to talk, but she is a bear when she can't communicate. I bought a slew of parenting books recently and only really started to read 1. It talked a lot about how you teach by your actions and not your words or your tone. Basically follow through on what you say. I got the books when bedtime had become a nightmare of screaming (by me mostly.) After reading a bit, I got in a solid routine. 10-20 minutes of "Caillou" on the couch in our room. Then they brush their teeth. Then we read a story. Then my 2 year old is done. She sits talking and playing quietly in her room for a bit until she falls asleep. My 3 year old likes to look at pictures on my iPhone. I set a timer for 3-5 minutes and when it's up, she is done and usually says "1 more bideo". I let her watch 1 more video clip on the phone and then i turn off the lights, rub her back and she is done. If I skip any steps, she reminds me. We have gotten along MUCH better since this.
I also had to teach by actions. Just took 1 time. She was coming out of her room 5-6 times after I tucked her in. I told her if she comes out, I'm taking her dream lite. I took it one night. She screamed hysterically for 3 minutes, then came into our room. I didn't acknowledge her and she sat with her mom, who told her to promise to be good and ask for a second chance. I gave it back to her and we haven't had a problem since.
You have to set a boundary and a consequence and follow through. I think they will learn from this and things will get better. And worse comes to worse, you sometimes have to put them in a safe place and lock them in there while you regain your composure. I have had to do that with my 2 year old probably once a week. Screaming doesn't work. I have to calm myself down and get in the right mindset to calm her down.
Hope that helps, and if you want the names of the books I picked up, let me know and I'll look at my Amazon history.