Stuck in a rut!

So fast forward alittle over a month and things are still very difficult for me. My husband has spent a few days with me and is becoming even more concerned about the future. We spent a number of hours discussing what our options are at this point. How we can swing things with 50% income (on LTD thru the employer) and possibly no income if I never get approved for SSD.

I have opted not to get information from my employer about LTD as of yet because things in our organization are very tense right now. People have been " dissapearing" left and right. Once I put that paperwork in, I can only see things going down hill. If not approved for some reason, I can likely kiss my job goodby because everything will be disclosed to HR.

If I can manage for the next 18 months as is, once my grandson starts school, I see it as a valid option financially to start the process. I have gotten very good at hiding the pain levels, meds and regrouping as needed thru the day. Once we hit 2:30 I am done and it takes all I can do to get home. My concern is that continueing as I am doing is increasing the issues/ damage irreversibly, but thats at my choice. But the bigger question to me is that will SSD look at my history of pushing thru, returning to work quickly after multiple major back surgeries, several degenerative and irreversible dx's and continueing to stay employed as an indicator that things are "tolorable"? My PCP and PM drs admit that others with half the issues have given up work allready.

Sorry, feel like I am beating a dead horse,lol. I just worry about how will SSD look at the fact that I am pushing thru for years. In days when they are looking to not pay I am sure I am not going to get a pat on the back for trying to put things off as long as possible. Maybe those that have gone thru similiar can give some input.

Thank you all, your support is appreciated!

I don't think the fact that you keep pushing thru will hurt you chances. I think most people keep pushing and pushing. I've said it a number of times, but I think it's almost like a game of chance when it comes to approval for SSD. I taught for 11yrs and was 34 when I applied. I was approved within a matter of months, while people who I feel to be much sicker than I, have to fight for years. I had a ton of dr support and binders of supporting medical documents. My cardio and rheumy addressed the fact that dragging myself to work was speeding up the disease processes. I ended up passing out at school(thank goodness there were no kids around) during the filing process. I did not return at that point.

For me, the hardest thing was actually deciding to file. It sounds like your drs will support you. That's the most important factor. I honestly don't know what SS is thinking when they look at our paperwork. While I was awarded SSD very quickly, I had a much more difficult time with the VRS(Virginia Retirement System). Didn't make sense. SSD rules on all types of work, VRS is just teaching. It took a year to win with the VRS. I finally had a meeting with a rep, and after an hour, he could see that I was having great difficulty speaking clearly due to the TMJ replacements. They had never dealt with this type of surgery since it's pretty uncommon. If I couldn't speak clearly after an hour, there was no way I could teach biology all day.

I'm extremely blessed to have two sources of income at this point. Since I receive VRS benefits I can't work any job that pays into the VRS. This means I'm limited to private schools at this point. Hopefully I'll be able to sub in private schools in a few months. Right now my rheumy feels it's not safe with how low my WBC is due to the Cytoxan. He is also looking at adding a daily injection as well which will further mess with my immune system. Very frustrating.

Shell-I hate that you have reached this point. Feel free to ask me any questions about the filing process. I really don't think I did anything differently than others. It's like they throw a dart and the one it hits gets approved. Not fair at all.

Rocckyd, that you for your kind words. I am sitting here tonight absolutely dreading going back to school tomorrow. I do want to make the call to my PCP tomorrow to get some added help with some depression meds. I know I have said I should do it for the last few months but now its really the time.

It sounds like you have a slew of things going on. I am glad you got approved so quickly, that must have been a great relief for you. My brother was approved when he was 28 on the first try. They did make him go to a SSD dr for a second opinion, he was there for 5 minutes before it was signed off on. He has rapid onset dysonia parkinsonism, so outwardly you can "see" a disability.

I really didnt think I would have an issue with STD thru the employer and LTD thru my retirement system (PSERS- public school employees retirement system), but who knows,lol. I am vested and meet the eligibility requirements. Just need to think more long term.

My other big hesitation is that I do enjoy physical activity when I am able to do so. Sometimes I can (and typically pay for it later), other times I cant. My husband and I talked about the fact that I may need to cut back on those things that I enjoy to do. I am young, have a young stepgrandson that I have custody of. I want to be able to ride a bike with him, play ball, etc... When I am feeling up to it I also enjoy walking, jogging, hiking and stuff like that, parisailing on vacation, once a year 5K mud run with my girlfriends, those sorts of things. Some things my dr approves of others things they discourage slightly,lol. When you are receiving LTD or SSD whats the expectation?

Post Edited (Shell74) : 1/1/2013 9:20:01 PM (GMT-7)

Shell, alot of times when people go out on particularly LTD the insurance company will do what is called activity check. They will hire an investigator to follow you around hoping to catch you doing something you shouldn't be doing because of your disability. They will take videos and believe me you have no idea you are being watched and videoed. They also do this to people that are off on worker's comp claims. The whole purpose is to be able to stop paying the benefits. Most LTD policies end when the person turns 65 and then they only have SS to live off of. At 65 you also revert to regular SS and not considered SSD when you turn 65.

Of course each policy with the company can e different it all depends on the language in the policy and clauses and such.

Good luck with whatever you decide......Susie

Rocckyd they do it many times for good reasons, not everyone in this world is honest. One of our clients was three months post op a lumbar fusion and they were watching him, he was roofing a house, exactly what he was doing when he got hurt at work. He was suppose to be unable to do this and be at home recuperating. Naturally they stopped his weekly checks, stupid, stupid stupid.You would be amazed at what some people will do. They sent a copy of the video to his dr and he was livid and had no idea either what the guy had been up to. I have seen mechanics say they can't do their jobs and see them bent over a hood of a car working on it, not their own car either. Its amazing like I said what some people will do......Susie

Shell, I hope you can get in next week to see your dr and get some help. I hear ya about having to worry if someone is watching you. Unfortunately, this does happen a lot when an insurance company is involved. But,not everyone does what they are suppose to when they are off of work like that too. I always warned our clients that they may be subject to an activity check and if they were caught doing stuff they should not be that they basically were shooting them self in the foot, weekly benefits would be suspended they were being paid.ut some people are going to do what they want no matter what.

Getting out & walking would not be a problem especially if this is something the ldr would want you to do.They look for things like people carrying or lifting heavy stuff when they shouldn't because they were claiming a neck or back injury.

Please let us know what happens next week......Susie

Shell, I hate to hear how hard things are going for you. I'm pleased to hear the Dr increased your meds, it's always such a pain when you are running out and are made to feel nervous calling in for a refill.

As to your delemnia about filing for SSDI, STD, Or LTD I know it's a hard one. Especially if it's gonna greatly affect your ability to live and provide for your family.

All I can offer is my journey with SSDI. My daughter was born in 1993, I didn't have a formal DX of lupus at that time, but it was suspected. Well 3 months after she was born, the military moved us to Italy. I didn't take this very well. My mother was unwell, I now know I was dealing with SEVERE post partum
depression and living in a country that I couldn't communicate with them. Long story short I slipped in a huge huge dark hole. I was suicidial 24/7 and could barely function. We returned to the US IN 1995. I was encouraged to file for SSDI, because my depression was so bad. I'd made a journal with 100 ways to kill myself, i was so bad, the military drs caring for me had a long list of things I had to do or be committed to a mental ward.

I filed my claim and won it the first time, but there was a catch. They felt that I was very disabled mentally durning the time we were in Italy up until we arrived in CA. As I was doing what was required of me, SSDI felt that my issue had been fixed and I no longer qualified for benefits

As the years passed and my LUPUS DX, FIBRO DX, and RA DX came I decided to apply again. I was denied the first time, I hired an attorney, he reviewed my case and took it on. I had to wait for 3 years before I was granted a hiring before the Judge. Durning that waiting time I continued to steamroll down hill, my cancer was added to my DX'S. After my hearing the Judge took 6 more months before granting my benefits. I'm ever so thankful that I had a healthy hubby who was on active duty and wasn't injured while in Iraq and Afghanistan. I really feel for those of you who don't have an income coming in.

I hate that you are being faced with this tough decision. My recommendation to you would be, first talk to your Drs and Make sure they will back you. Second I would go see a SSDI attorney, your consult is free and they don't get anything (except admin stuff) if your claim is denied. See what they have to say and I would think they would be honest if they thought you won't win, I'd hope they'd tell you if you stood a chance or not.

If I can be of any help just ask away. I know this is such a HUGE choice to make. I know personally I'm struggling with I need to return to work, my daughter has two more years of college ans she's gonna need another $60,000 for those years. We just are feeling squeezed. I know I can make good money, BUT my poor old body isn't working to good. I just don't know if I can ever work again. So Shell I feel your pain. You'll be in my prayers and I hope everything works out for you.

Hugs,
Barbara

This is an old thread that is six+ months old... :)

--Tina