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Chronic Pain
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Posted 10/27/2012 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
Ever feel like you're just existing? Just distracting yourself, checking the clock, until whatever time (give or take 15, 20, 30, ?? minutes) it is reasonable to take your night meds so you can get a few hours of sleep?

Find yourself willing to go to bed at 8:30 just to get the day over with, even if it means you'll be up at 3am, maybe earlier?

Forget TV? I have one, I might catch a football game, NASCAR race if I think about it, but that's about it. And I have 200+ channels. Can't abide commercials anymore. A collection of 300+ movies. Seen 'em. Been a DJ for 30 years. I've got music all over. Heard 'em all. Nothing moves me anymore, if that makes sense.

Sex drive? Forget it. Christina Hendricks could walk in right now... And nothing. Probably. smilewinkgrin

Sometimes, ya just wanna go to bed. Then get up, while it's still dark, and drink coffee in silence. Then you have to find something else to distract yourself. Like hitting the "random article" button on wikipedia.

Evil cycle.
Posted 10/27/2012 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
LivingColor.....I was just thinking about you and how much you had helped me today. I can't tell you how much your posts mean to me and to others. You may feel like you are doing nothing, but I promise you my friend that you are needed here.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down right now and I do honestly understand. Please come here and please join the chat when you are up at night. It's a great group of people and when I can't sleep they keep me feeling alive.

Many well wishes my friend.
Posted 10/27/2012 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
Awe, sure hope your doing better soon...kinda sounds like fall has gotten to you.
However, yes I do feel like going to bet at 6 pm and sleeping in to 11a.m but I'm in an RA flair...
Sure hope things turn around for you, and that you get some good times soon...or feeling better...
Sometimes when I feel down like you I schedule an extra visit to see my pm psychologists and that helps,
might be worth for you to look into...
Prayers and well wishes...
Posted 10/27/2012 6:40 AM (GMT 0)
I often wish I could go to bed and go to sleep early, it seems sleep often evades me, especially in the evening. I often stay up till two or three in the morning and then go to bed, just to have my alarm wake me up at six to take my meds, but then I go right back to sleep and usually get up at around nine or ten in the morning. I actually sleep my best between  4 and 10 in the morning.  I often wish I could sleep six or eight hours straight thruouh wihout waking up every hour or two with pain and having to readjust my bed to change my position so I can be comfortable again. Sleep is not something I really look forward to. As for TV,  I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for the history channel and discovery and travel and science and all those type of channels. I find those fun and interesting to watch and in a recliner of course, and it does pass away the time.

 

With all that said though, I do know what you mean, I will tell you when I get like what your describing just wanting to sleep all the time and feel like your just existing, I force myself to get up and do something, whether it be taking my dog for a walk, or just driving to town and walking through a hardware store, or something. Anything to get me out of that frame of mind. Because it is to easy, and I mean way to easy to give into it, and then it becomes a habit, and not really a good one either. I do spend allot of time on the computer, I use to spend allot more time here on this forum, and another forum about sleep apnea, but now I have also joined one of those over fifty dating forums, and that also helps me. Sounds like you also use your computer to help occupy your existence! Anyway your not alone with these feelings, I have them as I am sure most others suffering with CP do!

 

At least one can come here to express ones feelings and share them and know that people here understand and support you.  You have made a good post LivingColor, one that I and many can relate to.

 

White Beard

Posted 10/28/2012 12:09 PM (GMT 0)
I thank all of you, especially RetiredMom. It's been a couple days since I posted that. I am bipolar, which means mood swings, and I was on one end of the see saw. Plus the weather is changing, which always plays hell with my arthritis, and I was feeling a bit down and sorry for myself. But there are so many people going through the same things as me, and worse, who try to keep a positive attitude here. And for that, I am grateful.

I don't feel ashamed of my feelings at any point. I've learned about that. At times, we all, healthy or not, get down a bit. I was feeling down at the moment I wrote that, and the encouragement of those who replied, and the encouragement I've found for others in other threads has helped me. It's a support thing. My quote/unquote real life friends are there for me, no matter what, but they all have kids and jobs, and their own stuff to deal with, so I don't like to burden them too much with this. But it is nice to have a place where I am understood and accepted, even if I am wallowing in self pity a little.

So thank you again for those, as I call them, virtual shoulders, I needed them.
Posted 10/29/2012 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
I'm always in bed by 8pm, 8:30 at the latest. I do a "shooter" of NyQuil and it usually only takes me 20 minutes and I'm out. I'm super sensitive to anti-histamines. But I'm up by 4am every day, even weekends. I actually don't mind it because I'll take my pain meds and pop in "Married with Children" (I have the entire 32 disk DVD series) and just veg out until I have to get ready for work. I like to think of it as my personal time, because by the time i get home from work, I'm usually not in the mood to do much and winding down is difficult (especially because hubby, god bless him, is a chatty Cathy and will talk my ear off LOL)
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