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Posted 8/8/2014 6:14 AM (GMT 0)
Has anyone done research on the cycles of pain? similar to the cycles of grieving.
It had been a while since I read on it. I just want to read what others think about it,
and if the discussion can help someone, like it once did for me.
Posted 8/8/2014 10:38 AM (GMT 0)
You can start with a forum search and see what you find. For the most part CP actually follows the grieving process pretty close and we have throughout the years discussed that. 'RE: reading archived threads.

We actually grieve the loss of self,limitations and things we can nolonger do. Friends and families shy away from us,we have tendencies to become isolated and depressed. At some point we experience anger at ourselves,surgeons,therapists,everyone.

We deny early out that this is our lot,our life and hold on to a job,career,that motorcycle we know in the back of our minds we will never do again.

Eventually we may accept what is because until we do we are stuck in denial.

So the similarities are astonishing.
Posted 8/9/2014 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hi

What I have learned recently from pain psychologist is even when you are feeling good pain is always lurking in the body of a cp patient. So you must progress in good times as if you have pain. Example get a routine that works in bad times and stick to it in good times. Motorcycles are probably gone but sunsets are forever

Lumiere
Posted 8/9/2014 5:39 AM (GMT 0)
Yes. It was pretty ruff for me. First My psycho-therapy introduced the grieving process. A man in our talk thereapy group had lost his father years prior and finally was walked thru the grieving process. explained well and detailed. Then I was asked to read a report on the cycles of pain. I
That was good reading. I still work The grieving process sometimes. I miss the good old days when i was in normal health. But regardless, i'm grateful for life. I have a better understanding of what is happening to me, and how to make the best of it. Of course sometimes i stray to the deep end- but pain can do that to a person.
I have to find that hand out and share it. It may help others.
Posted 8/9/2014 6:17 AM (GMT 0)
Lumiere your spot on! My therapist years ago and early out when I was battling loss of self, a 30 year career that pretty much defined me, trying to pull me thru that tunnel of dark times when pain was my only friend says I don't want you to look at your life and see losses but rather look at all you have gained.

It was an outlook I still use more then a decade later. I lost friends but made new ones. I lost my paying job but now have 3 that pay in knowing I'm making a difference. I completely raised one child as a CPer and finished raising the other 4. I have blessed the world with 5 compassionate, empathetic adults who don't see disabilities but possibilities, all but one serve the underprivileged and see no lines of class or privilege.

I use distraction when pain is at it's highest. Its served me well over the years and again the therapist from then was a blessing and I'm sure my life without ever having found her would be so different.

It takes years to perfect the art of restructuring your mind, life and attitude to successfully live with CP. Most of us have many years doing it and the reason we constantly tell new CPers to find a counselor, therapist, psychologist, that specializes in the treatment of CP and chronic illness.
Posted 8/9/2014 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
That's an excellent comparison, come to think of it, yes, and perhaps more in retrospect the longer that I've been a CP patient.

Our cycles do seem to correspond with grief....all of the things Vickie mentioned. I can definitely relate to points in my life where one feeling would wax as another waned,...as we move through the process.

I think that's the strongest correlation I've ever heard. Spot on.










M.
Posted 8/11/2014 7:52 AM (GMT 0)
I have been suffering with this sometimes I can handle it sometimes it makes me want to die pain for 3 years. I had scoliosis my whole life thinking the pain from that was normal and have a high tolerance for pain. After having my spine straightened , 3 discs removed, and an idiot surgeon trying to put in a cage with me having a narrow spinal canal I ended up with permanent nerve damage. I have watched family members be drug addicts so it makes it hard for me to want to take my pain pills. I went from nurse to nothing after a week and a half in the hospital and a week and a half in rehab. I am 43 and using a cane because my husband said I drag my left foot and when I get tired or my pain level is up I lean so I have been falling into walls. The depression is horrible and I know people are tired of hearing me say I hurt so I try to fake it! Have any of you heard anyone ask you how come you still hurt since you "got fixed"? How do you handle the stupid questions from people that are supposed to care? I have to avoid some because I really get angry. Have any of you had to fight for disability? How do you handle the bitterness of having to fight for your rights? I sincerely want to know! I am soo tired of being alone and only having people that don't truly understand what I go through telling me that I just need to calm down and it will be ok!
Posted 8/11/2014 8:55 AM (GMT 0)
Dt welcome to HW, if you would please go to the top of the page and click "post new topic " and start a introduction thread. We ask all new members to do this so your questions won't be missed. They're important and we can help you better the more folks that see it.

Yes to all of them! We do live with everything your experiencing!! It's much of our lives now as CPers. I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much on your plate. Wanted to welcome you and make sure you do that introduction!
Posted 8/18/2014 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
It's not easy, but it can be done. People like us who are struggling to fit into our new life that pain created. Who are struggling BUT making it one day at a time till we find a rhythm in this added little "gift"

I like the way the moderator worded it (was it Vicky? I'm bad with names)

"It takes years to perfect the art of restructuring your mind, life and attitude to successfully live with CP. "
Posted 8/18/2014 3:41 PM (GMT 0)
Elizabeth Kubler Ross was an American psychologist who studied terminally ill patients and it was these studies that led her to the 5 stages of grieving.( Thank you wiki) that has always fascinated me ever since I first read her work as an undergrad getting my psych. degree. You can see that she had pain in the background of her studies as being term. ill, as I am supposed to be, you go through a lot of pain. I can remember when I accepted the fact that I am facing a shortened lifespan ( My preferred way of saying terminally ill) it was such a wonderful feeling because I accepted my constant pain at the same time.
I want to thank the OP for bringing this topic up as DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, DEPPRESSION, acceptance) is an almost perfect way to deal with CP, or at least it can give you a framework to use as you work with your illness . . . Q
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