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Help on how to talk to a new doctor

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 9/19/2014 11:41 AM (GMT 0)
I need help on this one. I think I end up creating more problems for myself and making communication difficult by not making the right 'first impression', so to speak. I still have that feeling that the doctor is in charge and I'm kind of just at his/her mercy. I know that's NOT the right way to think about it and go into it, so I need help in changing my attitude and "presentation" if that makes sense. Is it a matter of being better educated?

What is the best way you've found to approach this situation? When you see a new doctor, what do you say in terms of introduction and stuff? I mean, I really wish they'd go through things and read them (my binders of images, labs and narrative records) before we meet, but that almost never happens. What works for you? Thanks, and as always, I appreciate your help!
Posted 9/19/2014 12:10 PM (GMT 0)
Its not a matter of whose in charge and naturally there are some things the Dr just has to be a leader in. The object is to find one willing to work as a team along with you. Listens to your concerns and together you explore the options. This means not every Dr will qualify as you have to have a good and trusting relationship between the two of you. Some people naturally don't click and that makes having him or her on your team difficult.

You want to be educated to some degree but you have to realize the Dr is always going to be more versed in medicine then you, he spent more than a decade learning. Keeping that in mind you however know your body's reaction to pain, its limits, and breaking points, stress factors etc. Knowing that gives you advantage but not reason to refuse to try his suggestions. You review the outcome and together look at what you can do different.

He works for you in a way as your footing the bill but he's not a slave to your demands. This is the best reason for consults versus new patent appointments. Consults give you a chance to assess him, his willingness to listen to your needs and issues, how well the office is organized, you can learn a lot in the waiting room listening. Are patents moaning and complaining about wait time, nurses and the Dr?

Consults simply are like job interviews and you see if this is someone you can work with and will be a good addition to your team without the pressure or your care riding on what happens at that appointment. You will have a good idea of whether or not your in sync and can work with him or her and if your not satisfied you've not set yourself up in a no win relationship.
Posted 9/19/2014 12:26 PM (GMT 0)
I let the Dr do most of the talking and just answer any questions he may have.  I can tell this is how it should be because he's getting pulled every direction, other patients are telling him long meaningless stories so when he comes to my room he has peace.  Lots of time he will just stay in there with me just to chill.  As soon as he exits it's pandemonium again.
Posted 9/19/2014 1:51 PM (GMT 0)

jpjr50 said...
other patients are telling him long meaningless stories so when he comes to my room he has peace.

Well, for me, if a doctor considered their patient's thoughts and the way they talk about their illness to be 'long and meaningless' it wouldn't be a good fit anyway.
Posted 9/19/2014 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
I try to find non-challenging words/phrases to discuss my issues. For instance, if I feel that my pain is over the top I'll say, I don't think my pain control is adequate. If he's one of those no touchy types (I like the Dr. To at least palpate my organs and check my lymph nodes.) I'll say I think such and such is swollen could you please check this out for me.
There are a bunch of ways to rephrase your questions so that she doesn't feel challenged or put down. Most Drs. Like their work so go in prepared to help them enjoy it more by complimenting her, presenting him with as clear cut examples of your condition as possible. Best of luck . . . Q
Posted 9/19/2014 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
I agree Btl at least with a fairly new Dr. I had my previous PM Dr almost 13 yrs so yes wasn't too much to say most visits and the one I have now I have had almost 4 years so we don't talk as much as we use to but the important thing is he will if I have need to. At this point in my game I'm fairly stable and nothing needs to change so that's an easy in and out for both of us. The best thing to do is if you know your going to need extra time to discuss a change or a new issue is to let whomever makes your appointment know that. Then you can be given a 20-30 minute slot instead of a followup 10min slot. This is what causes drs to get behind when a f/u slots been given and someone has a new issue to discuss.
Posted 9/19/2014 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
I think if you walk into a doctor's office with a binder filled with comprehensive information, your doctor may shut down. Not because the info won't be helpful but because you're coming out of the gate in an overwhelming way.

It's the same way as if you come in with a laundry list of dx's or problems.

Stick to the basics, try to contain it to two (3 max) concerns (unrelated). Schedule another appointment at another time to bring up 2 (3 max) additional problems if need be.

I do the same thing, trying to cram a bunch of stuff in because we've got 15 minutes to get everything across. But we end up presenting as scattered and excitable. (I'm learning this as I go along).

Relaxed, composed, concise, control your speech,...




M.
Posted 9/22/2014 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
When I say meaningless stories I'm talking non medical. I know you're suppose to be buddy / buddy with your Dr and I am with mine. I'll be getting a procedure like an injection and patients will walk in the room asking questions. He's got a needle in his hand people, c'mon. Nurses try to catch these people but some are adamant and try to tell the Dr. they need a certain medication. When he leaves a room he's constantly being chased by someone. This isn't all the time but it's no wonder he will come in my room just to chill. After we get the medical stuff squared away we talk about sports, car racing and stuff.

When we talk medical I tell him how my month went. Let him know some of the things that triggered my pain. We come up with a plan for the next 30 days. I tell him what meds worked for a certain pain. He will ask me questions and I answer them honestly. We will do a procedure if I'm in bad shape that day or if I'm feeling well he doesn't want to screw that up with a procedure. I know people dread going to the Dr office and waiting. I don't mind and I'm fine on waiting to see him. I'm a pro on managing my pain and I just need him to help me manage it for the next 29 days.
Posted 9/22/2014 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Really good topic, lots of great suggestions!

I can never remember exactly what I want to discuss, so I type out my one, or two, max, problems. Then, I always have the list of my current medications, maybe my pain level(s).

Doctors are really pushed nowadays. Many of them are employees of the hospital and have to see a too many patients in a very short time. They often have to type up their own reports and prescriptions, especially with the government and insurance increasing regulations and requirements. I feel blessed on days I get more than 5 minutes.

For new doctors - if they don't have access to computerized medical records, I take in my history, AKA my "novel," as one doctor put it. I don't expect them to read it and I don't hand it over to the nurse. I do hand over any new CTs or MRIs, my current meds, significant allergies and a list of only the conditions pertinent to the doctor's field. I've got a single page ready to go to my myelogram, with several more pages if I need them, but not to shove in their faces.
Posted 9/23/2014 12:54 PM (GMT 0)

Alcie said...
list of only the conditions pertinent to the doctor's field. .

See I always figure I have to tell everything, because things are related in a way that I don't understand as a lay-person, know what I mean? And for now, at least, I'm not seeing any specialists besides my PM doc.
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