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How to ask for help from my parents

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 6/24/2015 1:01 PM (GMT 0)
I reached out to my father after a conversation with my Nana this weekend. She said that he should be checking in on me more and taking a more active role but on the flip side i think he is being respectful of my privacy as i have not asked for hands on help. I asked yesterday and we are going to meet for coffee this week and chat but i dont know how to do this. Since i barely hold down my 40 hr work week getting things done at home is a struggle, my husband works hard and takes care of me and the yard and house repairs so i cannot ask him for more. I need help around the house but i dont know how to ask for help and i need him to check in on me call or text me or call to check on how my day was. Its hard when i look and try to act normal but i am stuck in this prison of normalcy alot of the time.

what do i need to ask for?
Posted 6/24/2015 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
Well, if all you need is someone to 'check in on me', then asking for a call shouldn't be too difficult. Perhaps, if there was always a 'good night kiss or hug' when you were little, touching on that memory may be the way to brooch the subject.

If needing a 'helper', a maid or housekeeper is the 'need', ask yourself if he can either be the one to help himself or could he 'chip in' on paying someone. Sometimes hiring a teenager (like a babysitter position) is a very economical way to get the added 'hands'. Is there a new vacuum cleaner that would make it easier? One of those 'automatic shower cleaning' machines? Perhaps Dad could purchase what you need as your next birthday gift?

Figuring out what it is that you need is key here.
Posted 6/24/2015 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Bunny Girl,

I am sorry to hear the difficulties that you are experiencing. Bunny Girl it is okay to show that you are not "normal" - believe me it takes a lot of work mentally to strive to be the norm. When you try harder, stress starts to creep in....then your adrenal glands are affected, releasing too much cortisol....

Bunny Girl can you have a heart to heart talk with your father? I think you & your father will feel so much better. When you open up to your father, he will in return do the same.

Take care,
Sandra
Posted 6/24/2015 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
Bunnygirl, I bet your father is doing just as you said, he is respecting your privacy. After all you need to take into consideration you are married & both you & your husband work & have busy schedules I a sure. When my children got married their lives changed too. If your dad is working he probably has a busy schedule too.

Meeting him for coffee is a great idea & a good way to catch up with each other. Perhaps that is something the two of you could do once a week is meet for coffee & have catch up time.
Posted 6/25/2015 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
If Dad can do no more than get you out of the house once a week and let your mind dwell on something other than your pain, give you a bit to not look around and see all the things that need doing and comfort you in that way that only a parent can he will be helping a lot.

What's normal sweety? Really we are all different and no two people keep house the same way. What's normal for one would be odd for another. You can't sweat the small stuff, learn a new normal for your home and life, grasp that you will get it done just different than before and find the comfort zone for your ability and work with it. We have several threads about how to do household chores easier, shopping, all kinds of little tidbits to cut corners try search engine to see if you can find them and if not Susie or I can help. I do everything from laundry to load the dishwasher in a $25 rolling desk chair with adjustable height and a high back for support, normal? Hardly but it is my normal.
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