First time here, losing my grip on reality

Don’t know where to start, getting very frustrated with the entire medical business. No stranger to pain and all that it brings, 40+ years as a stone mason and a amateur career as a alpine ski racer has left its mark on me. Honestly it wasn’t so bad when I was working full time but 2 years ago my body couldn’t answer the bell for year 41 of building scaffold and laying 100 lb stones. It was the hardest thing to do, walk away from it all.

As I said, my active life left me with a extensive history of primarily orthopedic intervention, many reconstructive surgeries and trauma of all kinds. My medical records are impressive but so are my recoveries. At 62 the sum total was more than my body could stand, it was a matter of safety, building metal scaffold 3-4 stories high and handling very heavy objects demand 100% of your attention.

I collected a few years of medical records and went down to the SS office, they did they would be in touch. 4 weeks later I was granted 100% disability, no questions asked. Had to wait a bit but the checks came so I was relieved. So here’s the rub, my spine is a mess, I have known it for years, the docs always said hold off on surgery as long as possible, stay in shape and see how you do.

So lucky me I make it to almost the end, thinking about a cool retirement traveling around and enjoying things at a slower pace, maybe volunteer at a national park restoring stonework or whatever. Ha ha, the cervical, thoracic and lumbar areas are like moderate to severe in degenerative issues. All my other issues aside like 4 fully torn rotator cuffs and broken joints and bones I dealt with them.

This is different, almost 3 years with 2 neurologist’s and now a neurosurgeon and I am still trying to find some relief from the pain and mental anguish from being unable to even wipe my ass some days. I have been prescribed every darn drug developed for psychopharmacology with all kinds of results other than pain relief.

I thought I was getting close when I was referred to the neurosurgeon but alas, more impediments, first of all they say they don’t prescribe narcotics before trying surgical intervention, ok so let’s get to it, for 40 years I paid for the best Blue Cross plans, when I went out on disability I switched to my wife’s plan because Medicare has a 1 year waiting list. Wouldn’t you know she got a great job offer and took it which necessitated in a new insurance policy, her employer had a different carrier.

So when the carrier gets a approval request for a two hour high resolution MRI for me they deny it and request I go back to the beginning starting with therapy. The docs try to recode stuff but it’s clear this carrier doesn’t want any part of some potentially huge medical costs and they will follow the CDC guidelines for treatment. Which means I am like out in the cold. On May 1st I become 100% covered by Medicare with a top rated supplemental policy.

So here’s my problem, why In gods name can’t these doctors treat my pain for the next 2 months instead of saying come back when your insurance is set. They offer me all kinds of weird drugs that were designed for people with psychosis and mental illness, now they want me to inhale anti inflammatory’s that can destroy my liver and kidney (I have some issues there).

Is this the way things are going to be, if so what if these pending surgeries aren’t all that effective and I am left in pain again?

Hello & welcome to the forum. I am guessing your dr appealed the MRI & everything else. Sorry that you are having such difficulty. A story like makes me very glad to have Medicare & a good supplemental policy. I have been on Medicare since 2009 & have not ever had a problem with them. I agree with you, the insurance doesn't want to go on the hook for a boat load of medical expenses.

I have been under the care of pain mgt drs since the early 90's. This is when they first started in my very large city. Is there is a reason none of your drs ever considered referring you to one? Granted in 2017, the CDC & DEA became involved in what they term the "opioid crisis". This left many people suddenly with no treatment to under treatment for chronic pain. By chance do you have a GP that has treated you for years that may prescribe a short amount until May? I know most GP's are afraid like the rest of the drs, but it's a thought.

I wish I could give you some better suggestions.

The drs that do prescribe narcotics are in a national database, along with the patient's information. They know every dr that is prescribing. My PM dr receives a letter every month from the CDC reminding him that he is being monitored. This is why drs such as your surgeon & neurologist would not prescribe. They have knowingly instilled fear with these drs. A PM dr stays within their guidelines. My PM dr can pull me up in the system to see what medications I am filling & when.

PM drs have patients sign a Contract which lists the do's & the don'ts. We do urine tests to make sure we are not taking drugs that we shouldn't be. A lot of folks have a problem with this, I don't, I have never failed a UA. Yes, it's off putting but it is what it is.

Look at the media stories now over the Fentanyl deaths. The media makes it sounds like these deaths are coming from drs, when in fact it's Fentanyl being bought on the streets & other drugs being laced with it. It's the addicts buying crap on the street. If a narcotic of any kind is found on an autopsy it's considered an OD.

Anyone that takes pain medication long term will have a physical dependence to their medication. However, that does not make them an addict, an addict abuses their medication or diverts it for other purposes. This is like comparing apples to oranges.

While I am in full support of shutting down pill mills & unscrupulous drs, they have gone way too far. People in hospice are being penalized too. My neighbor was diagnosed with 2 forms of rare aggressive brain cancer. He went from being told he had 1-2 years, too just a matter of weeks. His last 3 weeks of life was a nightmare for him & his family. They begged for his medication to be increased, hospice said we have given him the maximum allowed. Believe me, they tried to no avail to get him help. Sadly & fortunately he only lived 6 weeks. His own family aid his death was a blessing.

I would get an appt with my GP & explain your situation & ask to be referred to a PM dr. The referral does not have to come from a specialist. You have nothing to lose by doing so. You can also go online to your insurance & check out who they have listed on your plan. Google top 10 pain mgt drs in your area, check them. If you can come up with a couple of names to give the GP it may help.

I'm so sorry for your predicament Westielover. I came to this forum because I've been having a similar problem. I won't go into a lot of detail, but to say that I went to my primary care (Internal med doc) because I have excrucating bilateral thigh pain, and lower abdominal pain. I have fibromyalgia (whatever the hell that ends up being), and severe osteoarthritis. Up until now, I have refused to go on an SSRI, etc., but finally agreed. He insisted that this will help my pain a lot....but I'm not convinced. I think I have nerve compression. But.....I am in constant excruciating pain pretty much 24/7.
He finally gave me an Rx for Tramadol. It worked great with just 1 (50mg) tablet every other day. Then the pain worsened and I went to 2 a day. Then.....nothing helped after only a week and a half. That dose is actually pretty low still. So I went to talk to him about my pain. He was very defensive about giving much refill on the Tramadol. I sensed that he was probably under a ton of pressure to not give narcotics to patients. What makes me mad is that in all the years I've seen him, I've pretty much refused medication. I'm a reasonable, intelligent, responsible person, but like has been said, the laws have totally screwed over people like you and me. I, too, feel like I'm losing a grip on reality. Constant pain has a way of doing that to a person.

It's almost worse than "1984" these days. Every doctor knows everything about you, so that even good, responsible people can't get the help they need.
I think you mentioned acupuncture. Did you get any help from that? How about a good chiropractor? Any alternative medicine/treatments that might help you?
Both my husband and I have become very disillusioned with medicine today. Are the docs too busy? Are we expecting too much? At one point at my doctor visit, when I brought up that the Tramadol from a new
manufacturer by CVS suddenly stopped working after a week and a half (with low dosage), and could he please help me get some of the older version from a different CVS that carried the old stuff.....and how was I supposed to tolerate this incredibly pain until by "refill date" was due.......he threw up his hands and said "THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND THE PHARMACIST!" So I think the docs are stressed by the new laws too.
Sorry to get away from your story.........All I can say is, as been mentioned, keep hollering/begging/pleading for help, and hopefully someone will have compassion and trust you. I know the docs are between a rock and a hard place........but being in horrible constant pain is unbearable, and I sympathize greatly with you. Good luck in your journey and try to hang on. I'm sending you good thoughts.......