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My family thinks I am just a hypochondriac

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Posted 1/17/2008 1:13 AM (GMT 0)
I guess I just need to vent.  Today I got accused by another family member that I am just a hypochondriac.  This time it really hurt me.  Before it made me upset, but today I honestly feel like I could cry.  So many weird things have happened to me the past year, health wise, and I can see how there could be some doubt.  At the same time though I have had proof of what has either happened or what I am going through.  I don't make stuff up just to get attention.  My family should know that by now..I've been around for 31 yrs now!  I am to the point of not telling them about anything anymore. 

Anyhow, on a side note, my internist thinks I have Crohn's because several areas of inflammation showed up on my scopes.  My GI however does not think I do because the biopsies did not prove it.  I am supposed to see my GI the first of next month and I am considering cancelling.  If the GI doesn't think I have it then I am just wasting my time and theirs to go in, don't you think?  Maybe this fact alone is also leading my family to believe what they believe.  I don't know.  I am just so frustrated right now I don't know what to think or do. 

 

Posted 1/17/2008 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
Even if its not chrones something is causing the inflamaiton and I for one think you should go to the GI doctor and let him find out what it is.
Sometimes family member pull this your a hypochondriac garbage because they feel bad that there isn't anything they can do to help so after offering sympathy a few times they think you should get over it so they can be more comfortable. Sometimes they do it so you will feel guilty and do things for them that they should be doing for themselves. (Hmm maybe I am talking about my family and not yours.)
Posted 1/17/2008 1:35 AM (GMT 0)
Don't you just love all of the tests? You go for one, and then, they send you for another. This last flare was really bad, and I know I was hurting badly, but every test showed up looking better than it's ever looked. After awhile, even I started to second-guess what I was feeling. I was seriously beginning to think I was crazy. Finally, I had a CT scan done, and it showed everything.

Don't give up. Your family doesn't know what you are going through. Try not to listen to them and just concentrate on yourself. If you are in discomfort, there's a reason. As far as the GI, get a second opinion. Ask for more tests. You know your body better than anyone else.
Posted 1/17/2008 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
mimik81, did you have scopes that showed negative too? They only time I had a positive scope was when my problems first began 8 years ago. I had "ulcerations" just about everywhere they looked, but the were all gone 3 months later. I have never had a CAT scan though. What did the CAT scan show that nothing else did?

I do not have it as bad a most of the people here, but that may be because I stop eating almost entirely for a couple of days until it subsides and then eat very lightly and a limited menu for a couple of months until I am sure it is mostly ok. So, that way it is probably hard for the doctors to find the anything. For example the last two days my diet has consisted of one yogurt in the morning then 3/4 of a cup of wite Basmati rice eaten over lunch and dinner. Today was a whole cup of rice, OH BOY! What a treat! LOL! Well, at leasty I can laugh about it.

indigosunrise, I have had a doctor or two tell me it was in my head even though the first tests showed major ulcerations galore. GO TO THE DOCTOR! Fortunately (or unfortunately for my family) colitis and digestive system problems run in my family, so I do not have the difficulty of family telling me it is in my head.

Post Edited (mibiks) : 1/16/2008 7:14:54 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/17/2008 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
yep when the chips are down you certainly get to know who your friends are and how good your family is thats for sure.
Take care,
Posted 1/17/2008 7:20 AM (GMT 0)

have you ever just wanted to reply "been there. done that" 

I read so many threads and really cant reply to as many as I want, however.... 

I wanted to say, that there was a period before I got diagnosed and after, about 2 years total, that I was considered mentaly unstable, attention getter, drug seeker, blah blah blah.... 

This may just be one of those things some people have to go through, kinda like growing pains for your illness and you, lol 

Anyway, it passed, eventually my stories grew and the test results came back and there was no way for those people to undersell my problems anymore.

Some of them are now sympathetic, but still most just dont have any idea about the disease. I feel its kinda my obligation to educate them about the disease (if they want to know) so they better understand the seriousness of it.

So I just try to be patient and breathe alot, and yeah, it does get to me, I do cry.... When I quit crying I shake it off and I move on cause tomorrow is another day :)

I took out extra spaces in your post. :)  Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 1/17/2008 12:05:59 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/17/2008 12:10 PM (GMT 0)

I am new here, but I read your post and am so sympathetic.  I as diagnosed in Dec. 07 with UC.  I have a wonderfully supportive husband who has been so great.  I had been pretty sick for about 6 months before I was diagnosed.  UC is in my brother and father so we pinpointed it quicker than alot of people are able.

My point..... It seems like we are sick sooooooooo much that it wears on our family in such a crazy way.  One minute I could feel fine and then the next I am laid up in bed doubled over.  Sometimes it looks a "Little Suspicious" considering I have 4 kids.  It looked like I as trying to avoid laundry, dishes, trash, etc.  They just don't understand the feeling of sickness that we all endure. 

I am thankful that I as diagnosed quickly and that I have an understanding husband.  He is always willing to step up when I can't.  We just have to see it from their perspective too. 

Good luck! And I hope they come to a conclusion quickly.

Posted 1/17/2008 1:20 PM (GMT 0)
Please don't let your family's uncertainty make you question what you KNOW. Something is wrong! And you need to find out what it is.

I went to my Mothers doctor (She had CD) when I was 13. I told him I thought I had it. He made me feel like I was a bit crazy and foolish. So of course, when that happens and you are a teenager and a person of authority does that to, you think it must be true. I ignored all future signs and trouble until 10 years later when the s*&t really hit the fan. But at that point I still didn't think CD because I'd been told I didn't have it. So I went on trying to get help from doctor to doctor not telling them my Mothers history because it couldn't have any relevance. I don't know what damage was done by my ignoring things for so long, I just know that in the next 10 years I had to have 3 resections and surgery for fistulas and fissures.

So the point of the above is just to not ignore things because someone else doesn't believe you. Believe in yourself and keep seeking the answer, whatever it may be.
Posted 1/17/2008 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
GO to your GI appointment!!!
Every single test I had for a while came back clear, yet I couldn't eat and was in excruciating pain. None of my doctors thought I really had CD until they removed 10 inches of my small intestine from a total blockage.

I have a great family, but because I was still cooking for them, cleaning, doing laundry and going to work, they thought it wasn't that bad. Even in light of the fact that I was in the emergency room for partial blockages ever 2 months for a year!! hahaha

When I was growing up, my bouts of diarrhea and constipation were just a source of frustration for my sister. She still feels guilty for griping about how I never had to clean up after Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. (I would be either in so much pain or in the bathroom that I missed it)

So go and keep going until they figure it out. One specialist told me that it takes an average of 5 years to diagnose Crohn's disease. I'm praying it won't take that long for you. Good luck.
Posted 1/17/2008 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
I was accused of being a hypochondriac all the time before my diagnosis. I also get my symptoms explained by a few family members. Once I was complaining about my side hurting. I was told it was just gas. I was so upset I was having that awful right sided pain that lasts for days. Boy that is some gas!   Keep your chin up and try to not let it bother you. I am sure a lot of us know how you feel. Karen
Posted 1/17/2008 6:35 PM (GMT 0)
indigo,
maybe your family doesn't want to believe that you are ill because that scares them, easier to label you a hypochondriac than deal with the fact that you have a disease...that's scary stuff.
Posted 1/17/2008 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
My family has been pretty supportive to me, but my sister has fibromyalgia and a lot of joint pain, that is not able to be substantiated by medical tests. The rest of my family is always calling her a hypochondriac and it makes me so mad! She is clearly suffering, and I believe she has some sort of auto-immune disorder and it just hasn't been diagnosed. The only silver lining is that my sister and I have become much closer. she is a great support to me, and hopefully she feels the same. Trust yousrself and try to surround yourself with supportive folks!
Posted 1/17/2008 7:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there, I so understand what you are talking about. I have a mental health disorder and the stigma that goes with that is truly painful many times.

I think you should keep your GI appointment for the reasons others have already pointed out.  Don't doubt yourself.  ((((((HUGS)))))))

Posted 1/17/2008 8:02 PM (GMT 0)
I had scopes that "looked better than ever", but was still ate up with inflammation.
Posted 1/17/2008 10:45 PM (GMT 0)
It's hard for people who do not have this disease to understand all the crap that we go through. When I first got really sick while I was pregnant in 05, all the tests they did (which were limited due to my condition) came back fine. I had 2 GI's and a medical student tell me I had gas and I would be fine. This was my first pregnancy and I started wondering if I wasn't just making things out to be worse than they really were. I would cry at night to my husband because I was in SO MUCH pain I thought I would die several times. Thankfully my OB/GYN was sure that it was something more and kept treating my pain until after I delivered my daughter. I was officially diagnosed 3 months later by a new GI who I am still with today. Crohn's has so many symptoms that it's hard for someone that is not suffering to understand the range of pain. The other day my mom (who is normally very supportive) said something to me that stung alittle. My dad has been having stomach issues and he is going through all the tests and what not, when I was questioning her about a dr appt and pain meds, she told me that my dad can tolerate pain much more than me so I wouldn't understand what he is going through. I started to cry...I said are you serious?? I had a bowel resection in July due to blockage. 14 inches of my small intestine were twisted, kinked and fused into a ball and had to be removed. I told her she Had no idea what pain was and if she had to deal with one day of my pain she would be at the ER begging for pain meds. I lost 27 pounds while I was pregnant, I couldn't eat, sleep or even hold down water at some points. I was scared for my baby's life for 7 months. I refused pain meds most of the time because I couldn't handle the thought of hurting my baby. It's frustrating to know that people doubt your word when you tell them what you are going through. I have come to the realization that you have to be secure in yourself. As long as you and your dr understand your pain that's all that matters. Maybe you should suggest your family do some research on crohn's and see just how AWFUL of a disease it really is. Take care and GOODLUCK!!
Posted 1/18/2008 12:27 AM (GMT 0)

Don't ever let anyone deter you from finding out what is wrong with you! There is obviously something wrong. I myself have been doubting myself on what was wrong with me because i went from dr to dr with nothing being done to help me. Finally I had an Upper GI and Small bowel study which showed severe narrowing of the ileum. I then went in the next monday the 14th where my GI had no doubt in his mind that I had severe crohns disease. He also did a biopsy. Hang tough and don't give up. I haven't told all of my family about my Crohns disease just because I don't know what they will think. My husband was always wondering at one point why I was getting sick so often at such a young age. Now that its been confirmed I'm trying to help him understand what is going on with me. If you ever need to talk or vent i'm here! Just send me a message.

Amanda

indigosunrise said...
I guess I just need to vent.  Today I got accused by another family member that I am just a hypochondriac.  This time it really hurt me.  Before it made me upset, but today I honestly feel like I could cry.  So many weird things have happened to me the past year, health wise, and I can see how there could be some doubt.  At the same time though I have had proof of what has either happened or what I am going through.  I don't make stuff up just to get attention.  My family should know that by now..I've been around for 31 yrs now!  I am to the point of not telling them about anything anymore. 

Anyhow, on a side note, my internist thinks I have Crohn's because several areas of inflammation showed up on my scopes.  My GI however does not think I do because the biopsies did not prove it.  I am supposed to see my GI the first of next month and I am considering cancelling.  If the GI doesn't think I have it then I am just wasting my time and theirs to go in, don't you think?  Maybe this fact alone is also leading my family to believe what they believe.  I don't know.  I am just so frustrated right now I don't know what to think or do. 

Posted 1/18/2008 3:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for your replies--it helps a lot to know others have been in the same situation.  Everyone here has some great points of views and perspectives on why my family is treating me like this--possibilities I didn't even think of before that make a lot of sense.

Thanks again for being so kind and understanding!  It helps a lot to know that I can come here and be heard!

Tsitodawg, can I mention my GIs name on here?  If not, please feel free to email me (I have it on my profile) and I can let you know who my GI is and if you could recommend someone, that would be great!

 

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