So my girlfiend just reminded me that for the last month I have had a head cold and have been taking Vicks cold meds, which by itself doesnt mean much to me, but she said she thought it was one of the false positive items that can mess up the test. I looked and sure enough it and another thing I eat every day (poppyseed vingrette on my salad) can mess up these tests.
Ive had a really hard time the last few months, the hospital has me on the hurry up and wait system, stuck betwwen meds, sick as hell, losing weight every day, starving, the hospital doesnt want me unless its lifethreating, my Doc says "I'll live"...! Duh, but who wants to live like this if you can be more comfortable while waiting for the next round of meds.
Anyway, with the chest pains, arm pain, muscle pain, eye inflamation, inflamation in my blood, "d" 4-5 times a day (enough of the med crap or Ill run out of space :)), my family (nuff said there), my wife, my roomates, my own mind balancing on sanity and somewhere dark, somewhere I work my ass off to avoid....
But I am home bound until a loved one returns and then I burden them with my moaning and complaining and the need for them to help me with things, I dont leave the house ever, the vitamin defieciencies have a grip on my muscles right now and they pull at the slightest movements....
I just want something better then this, I'm entitled (I know everyone else is to, but I'm on a me tirade here :P)
I have worked my ass off for 20 years, finding the right job (my job ( workers comp case here) has flat out said they dont have a position for me to return to), the right friends, the right woman, the right neighborhood.....
And now, I moved in with friends, with my wife, in the back room ( the friends are the best, these guys are very cool) and I cant even leave my own house, like last week, I passed out on the steps outback and when I knew what hapened, I realized I was on the cement patio and both knees and my hands were scraped badly...
Yeah I know I have great things, My wife is everything, The rest is good friends to life filler stuff....
That doesnt help me inside, it gives my no physical peace, I laugh at my pain now, except when Im on the floor of the ER howling at the top of my lungs from abdominal pain only to be made to wait 2 full hours before there was any talk of pain meds (kaiser before you ask)....
then I was told I couldnt get pain meds till they checked my urine, screw it, I shoudnt let this get to me, its always been like this and may always be.
Im going to talk to the admin of my GI department and see if I can somehow get her to cartblanch me at the er, no Im not insinuating I should go before life threatening paitients!, i will gladly wait while they save a life, but I just want to be treated like a HUMAN, ..., CART BLANCH ME FOR HUMAN...
Maybe a paper I can carry in my wallet, aslo notes on my records, with her NAME in BOLD with the words "FIRED" to the next person who accuses me of drug seeking when I only visit the ER twice a year! For christ sake, If I wanted drugs my GI guy will give me all the western med drugs I can ask for, phengren (got 24 patches in my bathroom now), vikodin, on my shelve behind me, diladid (this stuff is nasty) got it here, darvocet anyone, yup here, how bout for the real pain gobs of morphine, anyone.....
All of them just make my head spin and I throw up for days, despite the reaglen, the phenegren.....
I am so sorry about
this post, Im just so mad they wouldnt work with me to figure out how meth whatever drugs got in my system, I dont get it, how could I have meth in me, Im not high, not now, not yesterday, not in 20 years!
I'm off, this to shall pass
peace and love my friends hear from near and afar
Post Edited (Blue Velvyt) : 1/21/2008 7:05:07 AM (GMT-7)