If you are having trouble with getting the appropriate referrals, or want a second opinion, talk to the hospital "patient advocate." The one at the military hospital I use has been great in getting me the appropriate care and recommendations.
As far as the EFMP, are you thinking about
having your spouse apply? Or are you just wanting info on it? Here is a good site with info on it:
Exceptional Family Member Program
At one point, a long time ago, we thought about signing up for the EFMP. However, the program was new and we had concerns about career effects. From my reading today, I see that may be less of an issue than before. My case was not something that I really needed highly specialized care like perhaps a child with extensive handicaps might have. The reason my husband did not apply was that it might get him further unaccompanied assignments and we did not want to be separated. If an assignment cannot be found at a base that can provide appropriate care for the EFM, then the soldier can be sent unaccompanied. Not sure how it works now, but I knew some people that had to endure several almost back-to-back unaccompanied separations.